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1 



THE 



F O' O L of QjJ A L I T Y J 



OR, THE 



HISTORY 



O F 



Henry Earl of Moreland.' 



IN POUR VOLUMES. 



VOL. III. 



By Mr. BROOK E^^Ucnrv 



LONDON: 

Printed for W. J o b n t t o w, in Ludgate-Street. 

MDCCLXVIII. 





• 


• 


• 

THE 


Foo L 


oF 


QjJ A L I T Y 


■ 





R, T H E 



HISTORY 

OF 

HENRY Earl of Moreland. 

CHAP, XIII. 
Story of the Hon. Mr. CLINTON. 

THE WORLD, my lovely cou- 
fin, the world is to man as his 
t^nper or complexion. The 
mind conftitutes its own profperity and 
adverfity ; winter prefents no cloud to a 
chearfiil fpirit, neither can fummer find 
funfhine for ^e fpirit that is in a ftate of 
dejedion. In my youth every objcft 
pmented me with happinefs ; but, alas ! 
the time came when the univcrfe appear- 
ed as a vault wherein joy was entombed, 

A 2 "WV^ 



4 The FOOL of QUALITY. 

and the fun himfelf but as a lamp that 
ferved to ihew the gloom and the hor- 
rors around me. 

As my father and mother died before 
I ^was taken from nurfe, I knew none o£ 
thofe parental tendemeffes and endear- 
ments that ferve to bums^nize the foul, 
and give it the firft impreifions of focial 
attachment ; neither were thofe fweetneff- 
•es, in any degree^ fupplied to me by the 
behaviour of an imperious brother, or 
of a magifierial guardian. As I was na- 
turally, however, of a benevolent caft, 
}*fought for thofe affecHons and amities 
among firangers, which I had not found 
in the bofoms or faces of relations. 

I pafs over the immaterial parts of my 
life at fchool and college, and haften to 
the more important period of my ap- 
prenticeflup. 

Tour father bound me to Mr Golding, 
a very wealthy and eminent merchant, 
who lived over-againil the Exchange. 
He had been fomc years' a widower ; alnd 
his only child, a daughter, was then at 
the boardin^-fchooK 

Mr. Golding, with a plain uoderftand- 
i^g, was a man of firia hdnefty and a 
fn&eptiUe heart. At BtBi fight 'he con- 
ceived a partial afiedion for me, whereof 
he gave me very frequent and very, ten- 
der 



The fool at qpALITY. § 

dcr propft ; and, as he ftoad to mein tfa^ 

Elace of a pacroift. aod a father, I felt for 
im all the fondnefs and attachment of 
a child. 

In the fourth year of my apprentice- 
fhip he called me to his clpfet, and, t^ 
king me kindly by the hand, Harry, fay» 
he, I love you; your intereft lies near 
my heart ; for, though you are not the ba- 
gotten of my body, you are the^ child of 
my affedionsr — Be quiet, JHarry ! — Let 
me fpeak ! — I have to talk to you of 
matters of confequence^ — L went y efter- 
day to your unde Goodall, to know how 
accounts flood between yie :-— though he 
is but a cold kinfman, be is a very faith* 
ful guardian. — He has juft iQarr^ed a 
very lovely youna wooian,. and: I would 
have you go, anopay your compliments 
to them em the occafion. — Your uncfe 
has laid oat .your little pesisy to jgood 
advantage, and your laoooj, is pow near- 
ly doubled. — And now, Hany, as your 
father did> not "behave Kke afsither toward 
you, in the dividend which he made be- 
tween you and youF brother, I-propofe,. 
|n ibme meafuFe,^to fupply his place ; and 
I make you a prefent of this note of 
12 000 1. which, added to you little patri- 
mony, may enable you — O, Sir ! I cried.. 
: — Be quiet, child, I fay again, tiU you 

A 3. &SkdL 



6 The FOOL of qUALITy. 

■ . . . 

find whether or Ao yon fhall have reafoA 
to thank me. — I am growing old, my 
Harry, and^ by a long courfc of indu- 
firy, have earned a kind of title to fome 
little reft ; I would therefore gladly make 
a compofition between your application 
and my repofe. I fhall net be foloften 
in the counting-honfe as ufual. I propofe 
to take yon into immediate partnerfliip. 
But as I alfo propofe that you fliall be at 
three fourths of the trouble, it is but juft 
that I fhould offer you a proportionable 
advantage. — Now as my capital, Harry, 
is more than five times as much as yours 
of 36000 L I oflfer to your acceptance a. 
rtiU moiety of all the profits, in recom- 
pjfefe of your extraordinary attention and 
application. — Hear me out ! — I do not 
think that I fhall lofe by thi& bargain.. 
The afEiirs of Potiphar profpered under 
the hands of young Jofeph ; and I believe 
that you alio are a favourite of your 
God. 

I could not fpeak. The good man 
perceived my oppreffion, and catching me 
in his arms, and preffihg me to his bo- 
fom, he fhed a filent tear of fatisfadion 
upon me, and withdrew without faying 
another word. 

For feveral days following, Mr. Gold- 
ing was employed ia advifing hi? corre* 

fpondenti 



ipbndents that I waS' now became hisr 
partner and equal iilf traide ; atul X wa^ 
wearied with congratulations on my bdng 
one of the printipai merchants in Lon« 
don 9 before I had attained my twentiethr 
year. 

The obHgadonft and advStntages whiclv 
this good man thu* delighted to^heap upon 
fhe, incited me to; doubte application and 
iagacity, and all the eyes of Argus were 
opened within me for fuperintenditig and* 
guarding the interefts of my patron* 

I have often thought it fomfewhat ro- 
niantiCy that P fhould win both my wives 
by a mattei* oi adventure, to that their 
partiality iii my.fskvour ought perhaps to 
be afcribed to a fentiment of gratitude^ 
rather than to any liking which they 
might take to my perfom 

On a day in fummer, I rode tcrBarnet 
to fettle accounts with Mr.- Fradgil, acor- 
refpondent of my mailer's^ who was faid 
to be indifpofed at his country-feat. As 
I approached the town, I obferved an 
elderly gentlewoman walking leifiirely to- 
ward me, attended by an orderly tram of 
young mai4ens^ I obferved, at the fame 
time, two men in gliftering. apparel who- 
haftily followed, and coming quickly up, 
put all the females to a Hand, and caufed 
them, to gather in a group, as for mutual 
. A 4 defence*' 



$ TftE FOOL eF qUi^lITY. 

liefence^ One ofi die aien^ facrwever^ .a» 
way daeated bj tihe oppofidanof (b bu- 
merotit a coinpaily , raddy csAi^t one of 
the elder Mifies in his araif}, and^ repeat* 
edly kiffifis ]ier> thruii his hand into her 
boibm . Mean while the young lady ihridEr 
ed, iodxned alotid fbrhdp'; when, riding 
fuddenly up, I fintck the tuSslu to the 
ground, wkfa the heavy end of my whip^. 
His ccHnpaniictn hereupon drew bis fword^ 
and turned upon me ;: but^ pufliing my 
horfe at him^ Icaft him alfo to the earth ; 
then alighting^ 1 broke their fwrords, and, 
kaviiig my gallants in a plight not fudr 
dcnly to be dreaded, I kd my horfe by 
the biidle till I faw my £iir wards aU 
iafe to their dwelling. 

Some months after this incident, Mr^ 
Golding called me afide. Harr^, fays he, 
my daughter is now drawing- to woman's 
eftate, and fhould learn fomethisg more 
fubfiantial than needle-work, and dan- 
cing, and harpfichords, and frenchified 
phizes.. I therefore propofe to take her 
home i where, by the help of oiu* co6k 
and houfekeeper, me maybe taught how 
to xpake a Sunday's pudding, and to fu« 
perintcnd a family. 

I regularly go to fee her, once in every 
month, accompanied by fome male or 
female acquaintance ; but never called you 

ta 



The fool of QpALFrT. 9. 

rto be of .the party,- as we could not fi>^ 
.conveniently be both from home. 

My chil.d„ though a plain girl, is very 

: dutiful and good-natured; Her fortune^. 

ra^ you are fenfible, will entitle her to the 

fir ft lord of the land ; yet, I know not 

• how it is, I would rather that my girl 

fiiould be happy thaa great. I do not 

.wifh to have her a fine titled dame. I 

would rather, I fay, fee her married to 

fome honeft ancF tender-hearted man,. 

whofe love might induce him to domeftU 

€ate wkh her, and to live peaceably and 

pleafingly within^ his family-ckrle, than^ 

ta fee her mated with a prince of the: 

:blood. 

Now^ Harry, as thi& affair, 'of all af- 
iiurs,.fits neareft at my heart, it is greatly iw 
your power to oblige me beyond exprei?- 
lion. On ,my daughter's coming home^ 
I conclude we ihall be befet by a number 
.of courtiers j fuch ao Argo, when freight- 
,ed witLfttch ^ fleece, will unqpeftiona- 
bly be held. in chace by many a pirate^ 
WherefQPe^ my fon, I would have you^ 
Jceep a iharp and inquifitive eye about 
.you» and to take good note of the man- 
jiers and difpofitions of iiich^ fuitors as* 
my daughter ihaU appear to regard; as 
alio, to inquire minutely into their cir« 
€aiafianc$s : and characters* Your vigi- 
c A j^ knee: 



10 The fool of QUALITY. 

lance and penetration may fave us from 
ruin. Should my child be made unhap- 
py, your friend mull be moft miferable.. 
But 1 depend, my dear Harry, that white 
I live you will prove a kind brother to 
her ; and that you will prove a father to 
her in cafe of my mortality. Here the 
good man, no longer able to reflrain his 
paffion, put his handkerchief to his eyes,, 
and quited the chamber. 

Within a few days Mr. Golding fet 
out, accompanied by a numbei' of his 
city - friends, in order to conduft. his 
daughter home. On their arrival, I was 
deeply engaged in the counting-houfe, 
and it was near the time for fupper before 
I could attend. As 1 entered, Mr. Gold- 
ing prefentcd me to his daughter, fay^- 
ing. This, my dear, is Mr. Qinton, my 
partner, my friend, my fon, and your 
brother. Hereupon Mifs Golding co^ 
loured, and, dravnng back as I approach- 
ed to falutTc her. If I am riot miftaken. 
Sir, fays ffie, he is fomethin^ more to us 
than -all you have mentioned ; it would ill 
become me to forget that he is the delr- 
verer of your daughter. — Your deliverer, 
my dear Matty 1 how, where, when ? — - 
Why pray, papa, did Mr. Clinton never 
tell you of his adventure at Barnet ? — No 
indeed, nry dear. ----It is not cviny one 

^ who 



TiiJi FOCTL OF QTUAUTT. ir 

Wha would be filent, papa, where fo mucb 
was to be faid to their own honour. I re^ 
member that your knights in romance^ 
when too modeft to boaft of their own 
achievements,. ufed to pej?mit fome friei^ 
or fquire to deliver down to pofterity tfce 
hiftory of their adventures, and I take the 
Jiberty to be fqilire to Mr. ClintCMi oa 
the like occaiioQ^. ^ 

Here Mifs Golding began to give a 
narrative of the matter already recited, 
but in terms of high phrafe and aggra*- 
vated . encomium. While, all abamed 
and confufed, I withdrew, faying, that I 
did not remember of any knights who 
iiaid to hear their own ftory^ 

In truth I was much furprifed to hear 
Mifs Golding mention the adventure of 
Barnet ; for I did not recoUeft that I had 
ever feen her, and had taken, much more 
note of two or three other Miffes than I 
had of her. 

Being rcfummoned to fuppcr, Mr# 
Golding met me as Lentered ; and, clafping 
me in his arms, O my Harry^ he cried, 
how wonderfully gracious has God been 
to me in fending my beft friend to the 
refcue of my omy child ! in fending, at fo 
critical and very fearful ii conjunfture, 
perhaps the only perfon who had either 
gallantry or hwnanity enough to prefcrve 

A 4 her I 



' • • 






Tkk FCOL of qUALITY. 



IcT ! kideed) Sir, I replied, you owe me 
-fiothing ; 1 did not even know that the 
Jbdy was ycmr daughter, aod I could not 
)9ride myfelf, in any degree, on an aAioft 
which I thought incuQibent on every man 
tQ perform. 

During fupper, Mtfs GoMing was veary 
ehearfnl and agreeable* Her face indeed 
could not be numbered^ among the beau- 
ties, but her pcrfen was grace and m::-- 
jefty though in miniature, her converia* 
don was pleaiing ; and when ihe fung or 
touched her infiruments, for flie was mi- 
firefs of feveral^ her mien and motions 
were mnlic, each note feemed a fentiment^. 
and we felt her fingers playing on the 
chordage of our heart. 

For the firfl three months aflter Mi& 
.Golding^s arrival, all was croudingancfe 
:gaiety, affnnbly and feflival at our houfe. 
She was as a magnet that drew and 
grouped all the peerage and gentry of 
^England together. But, as bnfineis hap- 
pened to croud upon US uncommonly at 
that feafoDy £ was not at liberty ta par- 
take of their amufements,. and I rdigned 
to Mr. Gddxng the commiflion w^ich he 
had given me refpediog th« parties who 
declared themidhres iuitDrs. 

A% th«fe£Mit€M, in a daily and nume- 
rous fnc<;dSi0n, applied to Mr.Gol^Qg 



z 



The FOOL of ^UALITT. t^ 

for his confent, his general sinfwer wa^, 
that^his good-liking was infeparable froiti 
that of his only chiM ; that he would, if 
they pleafbdy confult her on the bccafioir^ 
azid faithfully report to them her approbai* 
tion ordiflent. In the like conclufive n^an-- 
ner, when Mr. Golding repeatedly quefti- 
onoi his daughter, {he would take his hind 
between hers, and, kifling it, fay, O no^ 
my dear papa, this is not the inan* 

One day, as I £it atone in the counting 
Toom, Mils Golding entered, and prefented; 
me with an order from her father foe 
250 1. And pray. Madam, faid I, why 
this ceremony, this matter of fonn ? Surfe 
Mifs Golding may, at any time, eom-^ 
mand twenty times this fum without any 
order fa ve her own intimation » — Indeed f 
are you ferious, Mr. Qinton i I am verv 
proud, I affure you, to have fo muca 
credit with you. -— -But, Mr. Harry, how 
comes it to pafs that we have fa littfe e£ 
your company ? — Your father's bufiiiefi^. 
Madam, deprives me of the pleafture I 
fliould otherwife have in attending you. — 
Again, Sir ! I am quite proud that it iis 
your attentioa ta my fadier alone whicii^ 
prevent$ your having any attention for his 
daughter.-^*Sa faying, ihevaniflied. 

Immediately I was firuck ' with a 

glimpfe of fome uncommos meaning ia 

thcr 



»4 The FOOL of qUALITT.. 

I 

the words and behaviour of Mifs Golding> 
but, as. I never had looked toward the 
way of her affeftions, I pailed it lightly 
over as fome matter of whim or caprice 
io the fex. 

Among the brilliant concourfe of fuitors 
that frequented our houfe, there was one 
Mr. Spellings a young gentleman highly 
ac.compliihed in his perfon and manners, 
and of a mod amiable countenance and 
difpofition. His father, like Mifs Gold* 
ing^s, had been a merchant, and, like him 
too, had amafled a very large fortune. 
As he was modeft, as I may fay, to a de- 

free of (hamefacednefs, he did not declare 
imfelf a lover, till nearly the whole mul- 
titude of competitors had been difcarde^. 
Then, with a bluihing diffidence, he 
avowed his pafiion to Mr. Golding, and 
earneftly befought his confent and inter- 
ceilion in his favour. You have not only 
my confent, replied the good c^ man ; 
you have alfo my beft wiihes, and fhall 
have my beft endeavours for your fuccefs : 
however, I muft warn you at the fame 
time, Mr. Spelling, that I will not do 
anv violence to tne inclinations of my 
child, although there are not two in the 
world whom I would prefer to you. 

I was writing in my clofet when Mr. 
Golding caxue io^ with an anxious import- 

' anfe- 



t»E FOOL OF qjIALITT. r^ 

ance in his countenance, and telling me 
Vbat had pa£ed between him and Mi?. 
Spelling, auied, if I did not approve the 
match*. I do not knovr, Sir, iud I, that 
man in England who is fo deferving of 
your daughter as Mr, Spelling. Tnen,. 
my dear Harry, 1 have a commifEon to^ 
give you *; Matilda has a great refpeft for 
your judgment : I befeecn you to make 
ufe of your influence with her, and to 
exert all your oratory in behalf of this 

young man. But, Sir, will not Mife 

Matilda look on this as a matter of high 
prefumption in 6ne who has no caanner 

of right to advife ? No matter, you 

may tett her that you did it by my deure, 
and that we are both of a mind with re- 
gard to this bufinefs. Well, Sir, laid 

I, fince you are bent upon it, I will obey 
you ; but it is the firft time that ever I 
obeyed you with relu^ance. 

Soon after Mr. Golding left me, his 
daughter entered, with a countenanci^ 
vifibly anxious and confufed. My papa, 
Siry faid (he,, informs me that you have 
a bufinefs^ of confequeoce to impart to 

me. 1 hope, Madam ! — Pray be feated 

a moment. ^^~ Indeed, my dear Mifi 
Golding, this office was not of my chu- 
llng, and I hope, I fay, you will be fo 
good as to panlon my prefumption, in 

confideratioa 



%6^rHZ FOOL OF qUALITT. 

confideration of my a<^i0g by your father's 
command. — You alarm mc, Mr. Clinton, 
pray proceed • — Mr. Spelling, Madam, at 
length, has had the aflurance to declare his 
paiuon for you.- Your father highly ap- 
proves of Mr. Spelling for a fon-in-law ;; 
and indeed, Mifs, might I dare U> fpeak 
my judgment, I know not where yon^ 

could> chufe ta better advantage. If 

that is the cafe, Mr. Harry, I wiili that 

I alfo could be of the fame opinion. 

And are you not,. Madam ? what objec- 
tion can you form, what exception can. 
you have to my friend Spelling?^ — A 
very - fimpla ^le. Sir, and no better thait 
this, that he is. not the man whocan make 

me happy. ^l am forry for it, my dear* 

Mifs Goldin£^, I am truly forry -for it ; 
were I to pidc from mankind, were I to 
<hufe throughout the world, if any one 
can deferve ycai, it is furdy this fame 
SpeUing. — — And yet, Mr. Harry, I re.- 
aeoiber to have, feen the man^who, in 
'every grace and merit, is infinitely pre- 
ferable to your favourite Spelling.-^ — ^ 

"Wterc, whoiy ^Y d^^ Mifs ? ^When 

I am brought to the torture^ I may poffi*- 
bly be under the neceffity of confeffing. --^ 
Pardon, pardon, fweet Madam, I meant 
so offence; aadyet J wiih toHeaven(: 
icnew*-*— -But th^tyou never ihall know^ 

Mr, Harry^ 



TttF F60t oj qjJALITY. if 

Mr. Haity. — Pray tben^ Madam, if I 
may adventure-on one qja^on more, haf 
the paitj'ia highly favoured any know^ 
ledge of his own happinefs ^ — I hope 
not. Mi". Harry. But of what advantagjc 
could his knowledge prove to me, I be-^ 
leech yoU:? Can you funpofe that fuck 
a peribn as I have ddcnbed could deiga 
to look with ftivour on fuch a one as I 
am i — i do not believe. Madam, thai! 
the man is in Engls^d who would not 
think himielf highly honoured, highly^ 
bleffed, with your band* But then are- 
you afiured, Mifs, that this man is worthy 
of it? — Ah, there lies my misfortune! 
he is too worthy, too noble, too acc^ni^ 
pliih'd, to lovely, to much every thing 
iot my wifhes, to leave any thing -tamj; 
hope&> And now, Mr. Harry, that I have 
entrufied you with 'my fecret, I hope ydu 
will not betray my confidence, and reveal 
it to my papa. I rather truft and fequeft^, 
that you will uie fome other colour f0c 
reconcihDg him to my refufal of Mr. Spel- 
ling.. And to make you fome amende 
fdr the mortification I have ^yen you, by 
reje^ng your advocation in behalf of your 
fnend, 1 here engage never to many 
without your approbation, though I do 
not promife. Sir, that you ihall du^ate to. 
my choice* There is one thing further,, 

Mr. Clintouv 



i9 The FOOL or QtTALITr, 

Mr. Clinton, in which you may oblige 
me, it 18 to prevail on my father to diC* 
mife thefe aflemblics^ and revels that di(^ 
traft our houfe ; indeed, they never were 
to my tafte, thouffh, by their novelty, at 
firft they might have helped to amufe a 
Kttle matter of melancholy that hung 
upon my mind, but now they are grown 
quite infufFerable to n^e* — Here her eye 
began to fill, and, heaving a gentle figh^ 
(he curtfied and withdrew. 
^ Immediately my heart was foftened and 
affected ; I faw the child of my friend and 
patron, the one in whom his hopes and 
fortunes, and very life, were wrapt up ; 
I (aEW that ihe was unhappy, that ihe was 
very unhappy, at a time that flic had for^ 
bidden me to attempt her rejief, though 
I would gladly have parted with half my 
fortune to have bqen enabled to g^ve the 
objeA of her wifli^ to her arms. . 

In the mean while, my deareft Madam, 
k was the fartheft of all things from en^ 
tering into my imagination, that I was the 
very peribn who fat fo near her heart. I 
daily faw the lovelieft youths and titled 
chiefs of the land attendant on her words 
and fmiles, and humbly fuing for her fa- 
vour. I fiiw alfo that her immenfe for- 
tune and rare attractions juftly entitled 
her to their homage, and I was neithei* 

vain 



Th e fool o r qXML FT Y. t^ 

yain enough nor bafe- enough to attempt 
a competition. 

As in myfelf I was whoHy dfevoiid of 
paffion, I bad neither eyts nor apprehen- 
fion for the diicefmrncot of hers. Though 
I had often: feen, I feldom had any kind 
of converfe with her; and, where the heacf 
is engaged, and in a manner abforbed 
by bufinefs, there is nejither leifure nor 
room for love to* enter the heart. Oti the 
other hand, a perfon affe6led can inftantf- 
ly penetrate the hofom of the party be- 
loved, and there difcern a vacant and 
kifenfible heart as legibly as a prieft of 
liis could decipher hieroglyphics* 

One df^, as I happened to- pafb^ near 
ber antechamber, I heard the warble, as: 
I thought, of diftant and aethereal mufic.^ 
I approached toward the found, the door 
was on the jar, and, gently opening it, I 
entered and flood behind her unpcrceived* 
She (at and fang to her lute. The words 
were Shakefpear*s, but fweetly fet by her- 
felf. They exprefled that paflage in his 
play of Twelfth Night,, vdiere it is faid of 
Viola, She never told her lovey but let cm^ 
eealmenty like a worm in the bud^ feed on 
her damajk cheeky &c. Ah, how affeftr 
kigly did her inftrument anfwer to her 
^oice, while fhe gently tuned her fighs to 
the foft and melancholy . cadences ! My/ 

hreawL 



fto Thb fool o« C^ALITT, 

breift was h fwelled by ^ mixture of aw- 
guiffiand cotfipaffion, that I could no loo j^ 
er wholly fupprds a rifing groan. Here- 
Jit ihe flartecl and turned, and, rifing fud- 
dently, her eyes fhot fire, and her face 

flowed, with indienation and reientment. 
(nt, obfenrtng the tears that ftill trickled 
down my cheeks, her countenance was aft 
ibddenly changed into kindnefs, and 
.ihe caft upon nie a look of inexpreffible 
complacence. 

AJi, Mr. Harry, fays fhe, I fee, I fee 
that you iiave a gentle and a kindred kind 
#f heart, and that, if ever you happen 
to love, you will love with great tendeir* 
neft. -=— Have you ever loved, Mr. Har- 
ry ? — Indeed, Madam, 1 cinnot fay : 
my commerce has been very little among, 
the ladies. If I met love on my way, or 
even found it in my heart, perhaps I 
frould not rightly know what to make of 
it. But, my Matilda, my charming £k 
.fier, (your father has honoured me with 
the privilege of calling you by that dear, 
that tender name)^ why will you not en- 
.truft your bed, yojur trued friend with tlje 
fecret of your difquiet ? Whoever the ob* 
.ject of your efieem may be, I here tcy- 
lemnly engage, at the riik of my life 
and the lois of my fortune, to bring him 
voluntarily to pay his vows a( your feet- 

O, my 



TheFOOL of qUALITY. it' 

O, my (ifter, I would to Heaven that he 
had now been prefimt, as I have been 
prefent, to have his Ibul .melted and ini- 
iirefled as mine has been } his fiefart mud 
nave been harder than the ftones of 
Thebes» if you did not attrad: it and 
move it) at pleafure, by the touch of 
tfaofe fingers, and thebewitchmentof thofe 
accents. — Ah, you flatterer, (he cried, 
^th a voice tuned to harmony, and a. face 
formed of (mtles, you almou tempt me 
tatell ydu what, for the world, I would 
not wifliUiat any one in the world fliould 
know. But I muft fnatch myfelf from 
the danger. — So faying, and cafling at 
me a vaniihing glance, fhe was out of 
fight in an inftant. 

As out fuitors had now been dimifled, 
and our aflemblies difcontinued, Mifs 
Golding feemed quite pleafed with our 
domeftic ^uiet ; which giving us frequent 
opportunities of being toj^ether, I endea- 
vored, by a variety ot tender offices 
aind litUe amufements, to difpel or divert 
the melancholy under which I thought 
ike laboured. I was greatly furpiifed at 
my own fuccefs on this occafion; her 
chearfulnefs returned ; Ihe difcovered new 
aiid (hiking graces in her manners and 
converfacion, and in a little time did not 
appear to want any confohtion. 



U2 The fool of qUALITT- 

. One day, being on the Ezclhange, I 
was accofied by a Jew, who told me that 
he wanted a fum of jnoney, and would ei- 
ther fell or pawn to me a jewel of great 
price. It was a fblitaire compofed of ori- 
ental pearls, with a diamond of the firft 
water and magnitude in the centre. After 
fome chaffering, we Agreed for three thou- 
fand pieces, and I put it into my pocket- 
hook. As my bufinefi detainol me on 
the Exchange till it was late, I dined 
with two or three acquaintance at the 
chop'houfe, and did not return till the 
evening was advanced. 

On my entering, I was told that Mr« 
Golding was abroad, and that Mifs Ma- 
tilda had jufl ordered coffee for fome la- 
dies in her dreifing-room. Immediately 
Iran up and opened the door without cere- 
mony ; but was inftantly firuck with the 
look which Ihe turned toward me, a look 
that at once intimated 4gc^^i^ and^dif- 
guft. During coffee, I endeavoured to 
behave with my ufual unconcern, but 
found it impoffible to avoid fharing in 
that conftraint under which Mifs Matilda 
moft evidently laboured ; in fhort, a 
gloomy flifihe^ ipread through the whole 
converiation, and I believe no two per- 
ibns in company were rightly fatisfied 
with each other. 

As 



T-HE FOOL OF qUALITY* 2.5 

As foon as the cups were removed, 
the fan* vHitants got up ; and, as Mi& 
Golding prefled them to ftay, in a niaiv- 
ner that rather denoted her defire of their 
abfence, they feigned a further engage* 
ment, and very formally took their leaves^ 

When fhe had feen them to the door, 
&nd that I had handed them into their 
carriages, fhe turned without ipeaking to 
me, and withdrew toward her own apart- 
ment. I fellowed ; and, as fhe was about 
to. enter. My Matilda, my fifter, faid I, 
with a voice of cordial tendernefs, do 
your Harry the favour to accept this tri- 
fle, as an inftance of my regard for the 
daughter of my friend, for the dearefl 
objed, upon earth, of my efteem and. 
aflfeftion. So faying, I prefented her with 
my recent purchase ; me did not, how- 
ever, even deign to look at it ;. but fur- 
veying me from head to foot with an eye 
of flran^e pai&ons, fhe took it, and daih- 
ed it agamft the floor, and, rufhing into 
her chamber, fhe fhut the door upon "me 
without fpeaking a word. 

I flood in an inconceivable aftonifh- 
ment and concern. In vain I fearched 
and refearched my memory for the recol- 
lefkion of fome inflance wherein I might 
have offended herj but, not prefummg 
to obtjrude upon her in order to queftion 

or 



X4 The FOOi ot qUALITT* 

<sr expoftulatc with her, I retreated t^ 
itiy apartment under the deepeft dejeo 
^on of fpirhs* 

Mr. Golding did not return tiH it was 
late in the evening* He immedxatidy ^fent 
fbr nie« Harry, fays he, what is tibc 
ifiatter, has any thing happened aimfi ? 
I never faw you looSk fa difcompofed^ 
Indeed, Sir, I am not as well as I could 
\yi(h. Blefs me, we had better fend "for 
a do^r. No, Sir, I am in herpes it will 
Ibon be over, — Where is Matilda ? — 
In her chamber, Sir, I believe. — - He 
then called Mrs. Su&n, and bid her tell 
Matilda that he defired to ipeak with her ; 
but Ihe anfwered, that ho* miftrefs was 
gone to bed indifpofed, and requefted 
that ihe might not be difturbed. 

Supper being feived up, we fat down 
in filence; and, as ndther of us offered 
to tafte a bit, I rofe, wiflied Mr. Colding 
a good night, and retired to my cham- 
ber. 

After a fleq)le& night, my fervant en* 
tered in a vifible alarm, and tdd me, that 
Mifs Golding was extremely ill, and that 
almofl all the phyfidans in London had 
been fent for. 

Very unhappy were many focceeding 
days. I faw my fiiend, my father, the 
man I loved above the world> I (aw him 

itt 



T^t FOOL otr qXJALITT. 25 

In a d6pth of diftrefs that bordered on 
diftradtioli^ and I found my heart wrung 
with inexpreffible anguiih. 

Though I was conftant in my inquiries 
after Mifi Golding, yet I purpofely avoid- 
ed appealing in her prefence, left th6 
fight of one fo obno^ous ihould add to 
her difiemper. At length the good old 
man came to tee, wringing his hands. 
Will .yQu not go, Hany, fays he, will you 
not go and fee Matilda before (he dies ? 
• The doftors tell me they have tried all 
the powers of medicine, but that they do 
Bot yet Jcnow what to make of her ficknefs. 

My dear Sir, faid I, it is then Do 
longer tinle to conceal from you what I 
Jcbow or conjeAure concerning this mat- 
ter. Mifs Matilda, herfdf^ entrufted me 
with the fecret, but under the ftricleft in* 
junctions of filence ; the extremity of her 
cafe, however, ought to difpeiffe with all 
f uch engagements^ Your daughter loves. 
Sir, fhe loves with paflion ; but who the 
objeA of her afiedions is, I cannot ima- 
gine. Let it be your part to difcover 
what fhe fb induftnoufly hides from the 
world ; flie wiU refiife nothing to the au- 
thority, or rather to the tendernefs of fuch 
a parent. . 

Here Mr. Golding left me, but return- 
ed m about an hour. His whole frame 

Vol, III. B fe^\sx^ 



26 The FOOL OF qUALITT/ 

feemed to labour with fomething extra-' 
ordinary. You were right, Harry, he 
cried, you were ri^t in your conjediures ;- 
my prayers and my tears have at length 
prevailed! With difficulty I have wrung 
the fecret from her. O, my fon ! it is 
greatly in your powa: to befriend us. 
Would you not do fomething for the re- 
lief of a family who doat upon you as 
we do ? would you not do folncthing for 
your old friend, who loves you as fondly •; 
as ever father loved a child ? Somethuig* 
for you. Sir ! — faid 1, yes, evei^f thing, 2& 
things that are poffible to be done. But 
pray. Sir, do I know the party ? You do^ 
Harry, you do, he cried ; for, as the pro- 
phet faid unto David, " thou art the man.*' 
I, Sir ! I exclaimed, impoffible ! Ihe 
cannot bear my fight, ihe hates me, flie 
dctefts the ground I go upon. Not fo, 
iud he, not fo, Ihe loves the very duft 
upon which you tread. JSonaethino; furely 
is due in mitigation of the cdamities 
which you have occafioned. We lie at 
your mercy, Mr. Clinton, 'my precious 
daughter and myfelf ! It is yours to bid 
us live or die at your pleafure, to cruffi 
u« into nothing, or to refiore us to exift- 
ence, to health, to enjoyment. Will it 
hurt you, my foi, to do us thefe great 
benefitb ? is it a mxlter grievous to you 

to 



The fool of qUALITY. 27 

to give l^appinefs to tKofe, whofe excefs 
of To ire for you is their only misfortuoe ? . 
JL princely fortune attends you. We and 
all we have are yours, Mr. Clinton. We 
are defirous of depending on your boun- 
ty alone. Let the excefs of my daugh* 
ter's aSeAion for you, excite fomqthing • 
^more kindly than hatred in your ^rej(t. 
If not for her fake, yet for mine, o^y be* 
loved Harry, let n^e befeech you to con-> 
, ilrain youiielf before her, to affeft: fome 
little tenderneis, ibme appearance of re-* 
gard, that may revive her^ a while at leafl, 
^rom the \leplorable ftate under which 
ihe languifhes. 

While he fpoke, I was agitated by un- 
tttterablq emotions ;. and he might have 

£' roceeded much further, before I Ihould 
ave had the power to reply. At length 
I cad myfelf on my knee, and, catching 
his hand to my bofom. Ah, my friend, 
ray father, my dear father, I cried, am I 
then no better than a barbarian in your 
fight? To me would you impute fuch 
fentiments of cruelty and ingratitude ? 
Take my hand, Sir^ take my heart, dif- 
pofe of them as you pleafe. All that I 
have, all that I am is yours and your 
daughter's, without any kind of relerve 
for any other perfon breathing. 

B 2 The 



2t The FOOL OF QUALITY. 

The good man caught me in byi arms, 
and prefled' me to his breafi in a long 
and fpeechlefs ecftafy; then, taking me 
by the hand, he led me in filence to his 
daughter's apartment. 

As we entered, Ihe turned her eyes to- 
ward the door, and her pale and languid 
countenance was firaight fuffufed with a 
fhort-lived red* I was fo affedled by the 
condition in which I beheld her, that I 
fcarcely was. able to reach her bedfide ; 
where, kneeling down, I gently took one 
of her hands, and premng it between 
mine, I bathed it in a iilent fhower of 
tears. 

Ah, my papa, ihe faintly cried, I fear 
you have betrayed me ! Mr. Han y is cer- 
tainly informed of my weaknefs. I am 
informed, faid I, my lovely, my all-be* 
loved filler, 1 am informed that I am per- 
mitted to hope for a happinefs that is infi- 
nitely above my merit, but it ihall be the 
delightful bufinefs of my life to deferve it. 

My dear, iaid Mr. Golding, I perceive 
you are fomething flurried, your confti- 
tution is too weak for fuch emotions as 
thefe. For the prefent your brother Har- 
ry muft leave you. To-morrow, I truft, 
you will be better able to fupport our 
company. 

Herenpon 



TriB FOOL OF qUALlTt. »^ 

Hereupon I took her hand, and, im- 
|>reffing upon it a tender and warm kifs, I 
^ft ventured to look up, and faw her 
fine eyes fuffufed with a glittering tear, 
and her countenance bent upon me with 
a look of inex^preffible fweetnefs and de- 
Kght J but Mr. Golding, to prevent* the 
eneAs of too tender a fcene, ^ inftantly 
took me by the arm, and led riic away. 

As he perceived that my ipirits had 
been much difturbed, he ordered a bottle 
of wine to lus own chamber, and told me 
that be requefted fot&e f\H*ther converTe 
Vfkh me. As knoia as we had taken our 
feats, he locked earneftly upon me, then 
feized me by the" hand, and lo<^ed at me 
again . But fuddenly getting up, he turn- 
ed and ftepped to the window, and, breaks 
ing into tears,, he there wept and fobbed 
for good part of an bour.r 

As foon as he W2is fome whart compofed,. 
he refumed his feat* Mr •^. Clinton, fays 
he, are you really fincere in your profef- 
fions with refpeA to my daughter I Shall 
I be rid of my doubts at once? May I 
venture to alk you a queftion, oh which 
my own life, as well as that of my child, 
may depend? Should it pleafe the Almigh- 
ty to raife her from her prefent bed of fick-' 
ncfs, is it aftually your intention to make, 
her your wife ? 

B 3. W^^ 



30 The FOOL of qUALITT- 

Here I demanded wkh fbme wanntB^ 
Is that a quefiion. Sir, at this time ?. What 
reafon have I given you to fnfycA my 
honour or my truth ? — I do not fufpea: 
you, my Harry, I do not fufpe£t you ; i 
know you would not deceive me, Imt yoa 
may have decdved vourfelf;^ Tour na* 
ture is tender and full of pity, and, in the 
deplorable eftate in which my girl lies^ 
your ^ great compaffion may have eafily 
been miftaken by you. for love. Tour- 
friendfhip for me alfo may have helped' 
to impofe upon you^, and you may hav^ 
conftrued your renrd and attachment tO' 
the father into a lendment of tendemefs 
and afFe^on for the child*. But O, my 
Harry, fhould any other woman be pre- 
ferable in your eyes ; er Ihould it net be- 
in my girl's power to win and wear your 
affeclions, I ihall then have been inftru- 
mental in making you wretched,, and my 
heart may as weU be broken the one way 
as the otner. — No, my father, no. £ 
have no foreign Delihhs, no fecret amours^, 
no pleafures that fhun the light. My heart 
is a virgin-heart, and my Matilda pofTef- 
fes it without a rival. 

From the tiinie that I was^ fenfible of 
my father's partiality, a little matter of 
ambition, whether laudable or otherwife^ 
incited me to attempt a diftindion that 

would. 



tut rOOL o:f qXJALITY. 3* 

tcouid raifc me toward a level with an on* 
ly brother who looked down with negleA 
and . contempt upon me.. Thence I be- 
came inde6titigaUe in my ftudies at fchooi 
and college, as alfo in* my application' 
tinder yau^ Sir, during the firft years of 
my apprentkefliip, and this left me lio' 
manner of leifure for female attachments. 
Indeed I- dreaded the appearance of any 
advances from the fex, Md turned from- 
them as I would from fo many gins or pit- 
falls purpofely dug for my deftlruftion. 
My converfation. Sir, has been very lit- 
tle among th« fair^, and X never, till very 
lately, conceived a- liking for any woman* 
la truth, my dear father, thatlad^ is not 
alive whom my judgment or inclinations 
would prefer to your Matilda.' You need 
not fear my bein^ wretched, T think my- 
felf moft happy in her affections. 

Then, faid he, I pronounce her the 
happieft of women r- And now, my Har- 
ry, r wiH tell you a^fecret. From the 
firft time that t beheld vou^ twflied you 
for my daughter, I wiined that flie might 
have charms to attraA and fix your heart ; 
but as I feared, and was perfuaded that- 
this was not the cafe, I-iOTbore to in- 
dulge myfelf in fuch flattering expeftati- 
ons. You know I never took you with 
me to fee her at the boarding-fchool j the 

B^ ij<, tru©'" 



32 The FOOL of qUALITY. 

true reafon was, that I dreaded expofing^ 
her young and inexperienced heart to fucn 
a temptation, left fhe fhould conceive and 
languiih undier a hopelefs paffion. 

On her return to town, nay apprehen- 
iions, on your fcore, were much abated, 
as I imagined that the great number of 
her gay and glittering fuitM*s would di^ 
vide or at leaft divert her attention from 
you ; and I purpofely laid alt the bufine& 
of our houfe on your Ihoulders, that ihe 
might have as little of your company as. 
poffiblck 

1 further had the precaution to wara 
my child againft the danger of any affec- 
tioa for you* Matty, laid I, one day^ 
among aU tJiis a&mbly of fair and for- 
tunate youths you ^e free and welcome 
to chufe your companion for Ufe ; there 
is only one who ftaads excepted, one on- 
fy wHom you' muft not look upon with, 
any eye of^ expechttion. Who is that, 
fapa ? My young brother and partner ia 
trade, iaid L ne looks much higher, 
Matty^ than to the daughter of a mer- 
chant. His profpeds are immenfe. He 
is only brother and heir to the Earl of 
Mordand, who is now on his travels, a dif- 
iblute young man, whofe vices in all like- 
lihood will quickly carry him off; and, 
m fuch a cafe,^ our Harry Clinton would 

1X2:: 



tttE FOOL OF C^ALiTY. 33, 

fee GonfiJered as one of the firft perfons 
\w the land. 

Ah ! Sir, I cried, I may blefs your* 
prohibition with rejard to me ; it was cer- 
tainly th€ happy, the only caufe of my 
Matilda's partiality in niy favour. The 
good man fmiled, and proceeded. Not-' 
withftanding what I faid to Matty, 1 had 
not given up all thoughts of you nilryfeliF*- 
While ihe talked or fung in your pre-* 
fence, I often turned my eye upon you,* 
and thought, at times, that I perceived a 
growing tendernefs in your behaviour,* 
which further acquaintance, I trufted,^ 
might ripen into lovt. But when, in or- 
der to try you, I propofed your advoca- 
tion in behalf of Spelling, and that you 
appeared Co undertake it with re^dinefs 
and pleafure, I at once dropped all- niy 
fond and flattering hopes concetjiing you,* 
2Uid I heartily wimed that my child had 
accepted that modeil and wbrtby yoiing 
man.- Bl^ed, however, be the favouiS- 
mg hand of that providence, who^ fo'iin'* 
expededly, hath conduced niatters to the 
ifliie of this hour, and fulfilled the capi- 
tal wi£h of my life. But I will no longer 
deliay carnring to my dear child the glad' 
tidinga of your affection y it Mdll' prove 
«he wlk of balms to her wounded mind,. 

B 5 and^ 



34 The FOOL of QUALITT.. 

and will clofe her eyes, for this night, in 
reft and peace of heart. 

I was fcarce dreil'ed the next morning, 
when Matilda's favourite maid entered 
n^y chamber, and bid me good morrow- 
Mrs. Sufan,. faid I, yoiir pleafant coun- 
tenance bids me prefume that Mifs Gold- 
ing is better. — O, vaftly better, vaftly 
better, Sir,, I affure you ; flie flept fweet- 
ly all the night, and did not want for 
happy dreams either I warrant. — Here 
is fomething for your good news. — No,. 
Sir, no, I never take money, from gen^- 
tlemen j my miftreis's generofity does not 
I^ve me to the temptation* I love my 
miflrefs. Sir, and F think we ought all 
rather to join and fee you, .Mr. Harry,, 
as well for yefterday's viut,. as for another 
which r hope you will pay her to- day. A 
fiddle for thele old doctors, one pretty 
^ young dodpr is better worth than a fcorc 
' of them. — Sufan, as it fliould feem, had^ 
■ been an ohfervcf, and did not want for 
* penetratioii in fuch matters. — Mr. Har- 
' ty^'Oit continued,. I would give my laft 
] quaxterffi wages to know what charm it 
is that you carry abdut you, td make all 
the jpretty ladies fo fond of you. — In, 
truth, Mrs: Sufan, I am equally a firan- 
ger to the charm and to the fondnefs that 
YOU talk of. — Do not tell me, Sir, do not 

teU: 



The fool o^t qUALlTY. 35 

t^]\ me. The very day of that night on- 
which my miftrefs fell fick, here was a 
lady in her chariot to inquire for you, 
one of the Ibvelieft young creatures I 
ever fet my eyes on . I know fhe aflced 
very particulsurly and very atfectionately 
for you ; iFor though it was rhy miftrefs 
to whom ihe fpoke, I ftooct within hear- 
ing. — It muft, I cried, have been fome' 
miftake or fome impofture ; for I affure 
you, Mrs. Sufan, that 1 know of no fucb 
perfon. But pray be fo good as to bear 
my compliments to your young lady, and 
tell her that I wait her permiilion to at-- 
tepd her. 

I forgot to tdl you. Madam, that,- 
agreeable to the advice which Mr..Gold-- 
ing had given me, I went tc felicitate 
my uncle Goodall on bis marriage with* 
your mother.* ,He had already been in-: 
formed of my recent admiiSoa into part- 
nerlhip, and thereupon received me with 
very unufual marks of efteem and a&c*- 
tion. 

Tour mother, at that time, was^^sieeed- 
ing loydy in her perfon and maimers } at 
every feafon of leifure I frequented their 
lioufe, and ihe conceived a verjr toider' 
and warm friendihip for me ; but, during: 
Mifi Golding^s iUads^ I had not been to* 
•wfitthem. 



-■»• 



36 The FOOJL of QUALITY: 

Sufan was but juft gone, when Mr^ 
Golding came^ and told me^ that He belie- 
•ved his Matty would be pleafed to fee me- 
1 inftantly obeyed the fumoions^ As I 
entered, 1 obferved that flie fat up in her. 
bed, a moming-gown was wrapped about 
ber ; andSufan, with the help of pillows,, 
fupported her behind. On my appearing^, 
her fpirits again, took the alarm. Shcr 
fcarce ventured a ghnce toward me. fc 
was greatly pained, by the abalhment un- 
der which I faw flie laboured, and I ha- 
ftened to-relieve royfelf as well as her from^ 
the diftrefs, 

I (at down by the bedfide, and gently 
taking one o£ her, hands, without look- 
ing in h^ face. My dear Mifs Golding,. 
faid I, Ihope yx>u will not be jealous c^ 
your pa^'S affe^on for me.. He has in- 
deed hoexi'tOQ jKirtiaJ, . too generous to- 
ward nie> and has approved himfelf more - 
than a father to me. He is not fatisfied- 
with allowing me to call you by the ten-- 
der name of fifter ; he further giye^ mc- 
kave to hope, that! may he united to you 
by, the nearei! and dearefi. oft all ties% 
Nothiiig,but your confent.is wanting, my 
filler,, to make, me the happieft of tnan^ 
kind. You are filent, my Matilda^ may 
I venture to call ^ you mine f Bldfcd b«i 
your fileuce, my aiigel, I ^wiU dare tbeu 

to- 



The fool of qUA-LITY. jr 

to interpret it in nvy owa favour^ — ^kidee^l 
I fhould long iince have made the prefent 
declaration, I fbould long fince have avow-. ; 
ed my inclinations, my anecbion, my pafli* 
on for you ;. but I did not prefiifne to liften* 
to my owa heart oathe occaiion, Tdid not 
fuffer it to tell me how much you were 
beloveds Amidft fa many fuitors of the 
firft rank and merit, who were jufUy call- 
ed together by your numberlefs attrac- 
tions, I deemed it a flight by much too 
high for me, to afpire at a competition for 
the happinefs of your hand* 

Here„ venturing, to look up, I per-- 
ceived that fhe had put her handkerchief 
to her eyes. Ah ! Mr. Qinton, flie cri>- 
ed with a trembling voice, you are very 
delicate, you are fweetly dehcate indeed y. 
but ought I to take the advantage of this - 
delicacy ? I fee that you would fiive me 
from the eenfuiion of an avawal,^ you 
would fave me from the mortifying fenil- 
bility of my own weakneis. But, Sir, 
you ought not to efteem that a weakneis 
in me, which I account my chiefeft me«- 
rit, and which is my chiefeft pride. I am 
proud of my gratitude, i am proud of 
my diicernment. From the moment that 
you preferved me,,againft arms and ag^inft 
odds, at the great periT of your own life, 
in you, and you alone, I faw every thing 
thii^ was aouable, every thing that wa&> 



jS^ The fool of qtlALfXT. 

excellent. But then I dreaded left alF 
women fliould behold you with my eyes ; 
"and, above all, I doubly dreaded andT 
was fearfully aflured that you never would- 
have any eyes or attention for me. You 
have at length feen, or are rather inform-^ 
ed of my malady. You pity me, -you 
wifli to relieve me, and you woulcf love 
me if you could'. It is enough,' Mr. 
Harry, even this perhaps is quite as much 
of happtnefs as I can bear. 

Here, again, I began to profefs and 
to proteft tne fincerity and ardour of my 
affections ; but (he cut me fhort, andfaid, 
I know your fincerity, Sir, you are per- 
fuaded that you love me, becaufe as yet 
you know not what love is. True love,- 
Mr. Harry, by its own light, fees into 
and throughout the bofom of the party 
beloved. I am very fenfible of the ten- 
dcrnefs of your friendfhip for me, and 
that fcnfibility conftitutes the whole of 
my happincfs. I truft alfo that it is alK 
the happinefs I fhall ever deflre. ^ To fee 
you, tahear you, to have you with me, 
to gaze upon you whfle you are looking 
another way, to be permitted to attend,, 
to fervc you, to conduce to your fatisfac- 
tions, i» a lot that will lift me above 
tdiat of mortality, that will caufe me to 
account m^felf the £rft among women. 



I^H E FOOL OF qUALITT. 39> 

\A h, I cried, catv I fay nothing, can I 
do nothing to convince you how dear, 
how^exceedingly dear you are to me ? ! 
certainly loved you> long before I knew 
what it was to be a lover. I now feel the* 
united force of thofe imperceptible de- 
grees * by which the pleafing • intruder 
daily ftole tod grew upon me. Believe 
me, my Matilda, when I prefumed tor 
prefent you with this as a token of my 
affeftion, I held it for a trifle altogether 
unworthy of you ; accepc it, however, E' 
befeecb you, for thefak^ of the giver. 

And is this the gem, fays ihe, which^ 
I caft from me with fuch difdain ? — For- 
give me, my brother, it is juft ib that 
the world cafts from them the pearl of 
much mightier price. I would to hea- 
ven, that I could rejeA all the pomps, 

^ pleafures,. and vanities of this tranfitory 
world, with the fame averiion that I 
fpurned from me this eftimable jewel ^ 
but there is very little hope of that, Mr. 
Harry, while you yourfelf may be partly 
numbered among tranfitory things. 
Here I was quite overcome by the af- 

^ .feftion of the dear girl, and, urged on 
by a fudden tranfport, !• caught her to my 

. bofom with a force that T^as fomething 
too much for her weaknefs. On recol- 
fefftion , I attempted to apologize for my. 



A 



40 Tii E F O O L 05 'QU Ar L I TX. 

invlifcretion ; but (he fweetly crieJ, Ah f 
Mr. Harry, never repent of fuch faults ; 
may. rv)ften, may I daily tempt you tc 
be guilty of them. But tell me, and tell* 
me truly, Mr. Clinton; thefegems, when 
you firft purchafed them, were they ac* 
tually intended for me ? were they not 
rather intended for your Fanny, for your 
own Fanny, Mr. Clinton ? What can you 
mean ? I exclaimed ; I know of no Fan- 
ny in the univerfe. with whom I have 
any acquaintance. That is ftrange ! flie 
replied, very extraordinary, indeed ! but, 
left you fliould think me of a jealous or 
whimdcal temper, t wiH relate the affair 
to you preclfely as it happened. 

On the day in which I took to my 
bed, I was looldng out at the parlour-win^ 
dow, when a chariot whirled up to our 
door. I obferved a fingle lady in it, 
whom I fuppofed of my acquaintance, 
and inflantly fent Sufan to requeft her tO' 
walk in. On her entering;, 1 was great- 
ly ftruck by the beauty of hci^ figure, 
and eyed her very inquifitively from head 
to foot. Having curtfied gracefully to 
me. Can you tdl me, Mifs, fays (he, is 
Mr. Clinton at home ? No, indeed, Ma« 
dam, faid I ; but if you will be pteafed 
ta entruft me with your commands* — It 
k only,. Mi&, that I requeft to fee him^ 



•The fool of qUALITY. 41 

as fbon as poiEble. — And pray. Madam ^ 
where fltaH he attend you ? — O, he will 
know that inftantly,, when you tdl hiox 
it was Fanny Gk)odall, bis own Fanny 
Goodall who was here to wait upon him» 
— Good Heaven, I cried out, my aunt» 
my aunt Goodall, my very aunt I affure 
you t — What do you fay, what do you 
tell me, your aimt. Sir, can it be ? Ah, 
flie is too young, and too lovely to be 
an aunt, Mr. Harry. — The very fame,^^ 
indeed^ Madam, there is no other Fan- 
ny Goodall. I admiti as you fay, that flie 
is young and exceeding lovely, but ftill flic 
is a wife, and likely foon, as 1 think, to be 
a mother. Alas, fays my Matilda, what 
a doleful jeft is this ! A cruel aunt fhe has 
been to me I am fure, what days of fighs 
and nights of tears £he has coft me^! Ah,, 
that heart-breaking term, his awn^ hh 
own Fanny ; I think I ihall never be able 
to forgive her that expreffion ! 

As Mr. Golding juft then entered, we 
dropped the fubjecJ: we were upon.. Why, 
Matty, fays he, you are qmte another 
creature ; I think I never faw you wear 
fb happy a face. I know you are come 
to chide me, feys fhe, for keeping your 
partner from bikinefs j but pay. nae down, 
the portion you intended for me, papa, 

and I will reimburfe you the damage of 

" every 



42 The FOOL of qiJALlTY. 

every hour of his abfence. Yes, my lovcir 
cries the tender father^ if wealth might 
ferve, for wages, to a heart like that of 
my Harry, he ftisdF be very amply paid- 
for every ad and inftance of his aSedlioa 
and attention to you. Every hour of 
my life, I cried, is already her due ; ihe 
has nothing to pay to one who is her 
debtor beyond account. 

During feveral following- days, Mi&^ 
Golding recovered with amazing rapidity r^ 
In lefs than five weeks ihe looked plump- 
er and fairer than ever. Peace finiled m 
her countenance. Joy laughed in her 
eyes. Her wholle frame appeared as^ ac- 
tuated by fome internal mufic. And 
thus, all lovely and beloved, fhe was gi- 
ven up to my arms, in the prefence p£ 
my uncle and aunt, and of a few city^ 
friends. 

S/Sl S^ i^wi 

Friend. As I wifli that none of your 
.&ults ihould pafs by me unnoticed, fb" 
.1 am willing to allow you all your jufr 
praifes. Your ftory of your old friend 
is, hitherto, very fimple,. natural, and 
domeftic ; and to a mind, yet undebauch- 
«d, exceedingly interefting and aflfefting ;. 
for it opens and inveftigatcs a number of 

little 



The fool of (KTAHTT. 45; 

HtUe paflages and mazes in tlie hearty 
which are quite clofed, or imperceptible 
to perfons of hard nerves and callous co&-> 
ceptions. I am free^ however, to tell you, 
that I felt myfelf offended by the compli- 
ments which Mr. CSnton pays to himfelf 
through the niouth of your Matilda. It 
is, indeed, a very rare matter for people, 
to (peak of themfelves with due decency 
and delicacy « I wx(h you could have 
procured ibme other conduit for convey- 
ing to us the hiftory of your knights. 
CxfaLTy I think, is the only perfon who^, 
with an eafy, though, modeft confidence^ 
has fuccefsfqily adventured on a detail of 
his own exploits* 

AuTi^oR. I have not a word to fay ia 
Mr. Clinton's defence; perhaps he may of- 
fer fomething for.himfelf on the occaiion.^ 

e H A p. XIV. 

HE^R E the Ctountefs, for the firft 
time, broke in upon her coufin's 
narration. Happy Matilda,^ ihe cried,, 
how difiinguiihed was thy delliny ! were 
it but for a year,, were it but for a day,, 
for that day thou didft yet enjoy the con- 
foomiation of all thy wiihes, a lot rarely 

sdlowed^ 



44 The FOOL or <^ALITT. 

allowed to any daughter of Adam.^ t 
was not then bom to envy her ftate^ 
Sweet girl, ihe deferred you, fhe was af- 
ter my own hearty the excefs of her paf- 
fion for you made her truly worthy of 
you. But tell me, my coufin, how could 
you be>fo long ignorant of the dear girrs 
afieclion for you ? The language of love 
is fb very intelligible, fo expreffive througii 
every motion and every organ, as muft, 
with fuflicient ckamefs, have, opened 
your eyes to the object. Indeed, Madam, 
replied Mr. Clinton, (he herfelf led mc 
away from any fuch apprehenfion by 
drawing fo many pvfhires of the man 
whom me faid ihe loved, all copied from 
the creature of her own brain, and co-r 
rered and difguifcd with fuch imaginary 
excellencies, as muft have prevented my-* 
felf, as well as every one living, from per- 
ceiving therein the fmalleft trace of n»y 
own rcfemblance. Do not tell me, cried 
Lady Maitlaod ; ihe was a true and 2^ 
fweet painter, and I fhould have knowii' 
^bu by her portrait in the.mldft of a miU 
ion. But proceed, I befccch you, my 
whole foul is in your ftory,' 

Within a few months after my mar- 
riage, continued Mr. Qinton, you, my 
cuuiln^ firlt opened your fair eyes to the 

light. 



I 



The fool of qUALlTT* 45 

light, and my Matty and I had the ho« 
nour of being your fponfors. 

Within the firft year of my marriage, 
my girl alfo brought a fon into the 
world, and within the two years following 
was delivered of a daughter. 

. The joy of the grandfather, on thofe 
events, was inexpreifible. Alas, good 
man ! he thought that he perceived, in 
their infant afpecfls, a thoufand happy 
promifes and opening profpeds. He faw 
himfelf, as it were, perpetuated in a de- 
feending and widening progeQy, who, 
like their native Thames, Ihould roll 
down in a tide of expanding wealth and 
profperity. He wanted that all the world 
ihould participate of his happinefs, and 
our houfe once more became the houfe 
of fcftivity. 

. A number of external fuccefles alfo 
ailifled to perfuade us, in thofe days^ 
that felicity was to be attained and afcer* 
tained upon earth. The regency of Crom- 
well was adnyniftered with the ftrifteft 
juftice at home, while, at the fame time, 
it became revered and formidable abroad, 
and extended its influence to regions the 
naoft remote. Under the proteftion of 
the Britilh flag, we fent our ihips out to 
theeaft, and to the weft, and weahh came 

pouring 



.-1 



4« The POOL of qUALITT, 

pouring in upon us from all quarter 
of the globe. 

In the mean while my wife and I lived 
together in perfect harmony. Though 
my commerce and acquaintance was great- 
ly extended, I had yet formed no frieod- 
inips, from home, that jpartook pf heart- 
felt tenderneis, except tor your mamma. 
All my pleafures and deures, all my 
world was, in a manner, confined and 
abforbed within the compafs of my owa 
walls. In the ^ood old man and Jiif 
daughter, and in the pledges of their 
endearing attachment to me, every wift. 
that my foul could form was centered* 
Mutual joy fat round our board, mutual 
peace prepared our pillows ^ and, during 
a fwimming period of fix years, I fcarce 
remember to have experienced the finalleft 
difcontent, fave what arofe from the inop* 
dinacy of my wife's affecUon for m^ • 

While fhe continued to bkfs my arms, 
I thought that no one had ever loved 
with greater warmth than I loved her ; 
and yet, at times, I remarked a very (hi- 
king difference between the manner and 
effe^s of our feelings for each other. If 
bufineis detained me an hourextraoixiina- 
ry abroad, the panting of her bbfom, 
that eagernefs of look with which fhe 
received mc, was to me a painful evi- 
dence 



The FOOt of QUALITY. 47 

4jence of her anxiety during my abfehce^ 
One evening I found her in fainting-fit% 
merely becaufe fhe was told that a duel 
iiad juft happened between Lord Mohun 
and a perfon who had much the refem- 
blance of her Clinton. In Ihort, if my 
head or my finger ached, 1 found myfelf 
under the necemty of concealing my ail- 
ment, and of auuming a chearfulne/s 
dilagreeable to the occaiion, to prevent 
the worfe confequences of her ready 
alarms. On the othor hand, myaffe^on 
was tranquil and ferene ; it was tender and 
fervent, indeed, but without tumult or dif- 
turbance ; a fpecies of love which I after* 
wards found to be by far the moft eligi- 
ble ; for every, kind of pailion is unquc- - 
ilionably a kind of fuflFering ; love in God, 
therefore, muil be wholly an action, it 
afts infinitely upon others without any 
poffibiUty of being acfted upon* 

Thus the years of my hfe moved or- 
ward upon down, when the fmall-pox, 
tha( capital enemy to youth and beaut)', 
became epidemical in the city. Our chil- 
dren caught the contagion. All poffible 
care was taken, and all poffible art em- 
ployed. A number of phyficians was 
kept conftantly about them. Fifteen days 
of their illnefs were already elapfed, and 
the doctors pronounced them out of dan- 



4t The FOOL or qUALITT, 

ger ; when the diftemper tods, a fuddeiif* 
and- malignant turn, and, in one and the 
fame minute, both my babes expired ia 
the arms of their mother. 

I was in the room at the time, and. 
as I knew the extreme tendemeis of mj 
Matty's nature, all my concern, as weU 
as attention, was turned upon her. I 
took her fondly by the hand, and, looking 
up to her face, I was inftantly alarmed 
and ihocked by that placid ferenity which 
appeared in her countenance, and which . 
I expeAed to be quickly changed inte 
fome frantic eruption. But, firft drop- 
ping a fmiling tear on her infants, and then 
lifting her gliilening eyes to heaven, l 
thank thee, I thank thee, O my Mailer, 
Aie cried, thou haft made me of iome 
u£c i I have not been bom in vain ; thoa 
haft ordained me the humble vehicle of 
two fafe and certain angels, living attend* 
ants on thy throne, and fweet migers of 
thy praifes in the kingdom of Kttle chil- 
dren, for ever and for ever. I have yet 
iufficient left, more blefQngs remainmg 
than fuit the lot of mortahty ; take me 
from them, I befeech thee, whenever it is 
thy good pleafure, for I £car there are 
fome of them, which I could not, I could 
not bear to have taken away from me. 
So prayed the dear faint, and looking 

eagerly 



The fool ai qUALITY* 4^ 

^eagerly stt me, No, my Harrj'^, fhe cried 
out, I fear, I fear I could not bear itl 
So faying, fhe fuddralyxaft herfelf into 
xny bofom, and grafping at my neck, 
and golhinginto a flood -of anguifh, wc 
minted our fobs and our tears together^ 
till no more were left to be ihed. 

¥ou are affi^<fled, my deareft coufin ; V 
had better flop here, if you arc moved 
by imall matters, how muft your heart 
be wrung by fome enfuing ditirefies! 
I-muil not venture to proceed. 

Go on 1 cried the Countefs, go ^n, I 
infift upon it. I love to weep ! 1 joy to 
grieve ! It is my happinefs, tny delight to 
have my heart broken in jneces. 

We were both of us, he proceeded, much 
Tdieved by the vent of ourinutualpaffion ; 
for, though my wife iliU continued to keep 
to me and ding about ine, fhe yet feem- 
ed to be fweetly compdfed, and jfuok, 
within my arms, as into a bed of peace. 

At length I liftened to a kind of mur- 
mur and bufUe in the hall, and I heard 
fome one -diftin^y cry, O my mailer, fty 
mafler ! 

We fiarted up at the inflant. Mr, 
Golding had been from home at the time 
of the deadly crifis of my two darling little 
ones, and had quieted all his fears, and 
renewed aU his profpeds, in the view aud 

Vol. in, C i^Sk 



50 The FOOL of QUALITY. 

full aflurance of their life and quick reov 
very. We had been too much engaged 
and occupied in our own perfonal eriefs, 
to give to our fervants the feafcmab^pi^ 
caution of breaking die matter to oar 
father by unalarming degrees^ ^ and %■ 
rude fellow, at his entrance^ Uuistly told 
him, that the children were both dead i 
whereupon he clapped his haiids together, 
and cafting himfelf into a chair, remaiiv- 
ed without fenfe or motion. ' 

When we! ran up, wc were greatly 
terrified by the manner of' his afpeA ; 
though his eyes were clofed, his browi 
vxre gloomy and contracted, while the 
nether part of his face looked quiet and 
compofed. 

I inftantly fent for a furgeon, and re* 
called the phyficians who had but lately 
left us, while my Matty flood motion* 
lefs, with her hands clofed together, and 
her eyes fixed upon her father. At'length-' 
fhe cried out. My papa, my paipa, my 
dear papa, I would, I would I had didd 
before I came to this hour ! But \Aeffed 
be thy will, fince it is thy will, O God ! 
when all other props are fapped and 
plucked from under me, I truft to full into 
thee, my Father, which art in heaven ! 

Being put to bed, and bled, he reco-' 
vcred motion and fpeech^ and we got him 

to 



The ^^OOL o^ QUALITY. 51^. 

%0 fwallow a compofing draoght^ though 
he did not yet recdleft any pcrfoa or 
thing about him. 

Not^thftanding OHf late fatigued, 
Hatty and I fat up with him moft ot the -^ 
night ; and then, ordeiing a pallet ta be 
bk-ought into the room, we lay down to 
take a httle reft coward morning. Alas, 
faid I to rayfelf, how rich was I yefterday, 
how is my world abridged 2 thefe narrow - 
walls now contain all that 19 left me 
of all the pofleffions that 1 value upon 
^arth. 

Poor Mi% Golding was but ill qualified 
to bear calamity^ His life had been a 
life of found health and fuccefles ; and he 
never had been acquainted with iicknefs, 
or with afflidlion, fave on the death of 
his wife, whom he had married for 
money, and on the illnefs of his daughter^ 
as already related^p 

As he had taken an opiate, he did not . 
awaken till it was late in the day. Turning 
hb head toward me, Is^it you, Harry? fays 
he. How do you find.yourfelf. Sir? faid !• . 
Why, has any thing been the matter with 
me ? Indeed I do not feel myfelf ri^t ; 
but fend my children to me. Send my 
Jacky and my little Harriet j the fight of 
them will be a reftorative beyond all the 

C 2 cordiaU 



5> The FOOL or qUALITT. 

cordials in the world. — ^Tou are filent, 
Harry! — What is the meaning? — -Oj 
now I begin to remember ! My fweet 
Irabies, my little play-fellows, I ihall never 
fee you any more ! 

Here he burft into the moft violent 
guih of paflion. He groaned, he wept, 
ne cried aloud with heart-piercing excla* 
xnations, while I caught up Matty in my 
arms, and, running with her to a difiaht 
apartment, catched a kiis, and locked 
her in* 

I returned, but found him in the fame 
violence of agitation. I fpoketo him, 
I would have comforted him ; but he 
cried. Be quiet, Harry, I will not be com- 
forted. I will go to my children ! They 
ihall not be torn- from me ! We will die i 
we will be buried ! we will lie in the fame 
grave together. 

As I found myfelf lick, and ready to 
faint under the oppreifion of his lamen* 
tations, I withdrew to the next chamber^ 
and there plentifully vented the conta* 
gious ihower. 

After fome time I liftened, and per<« 
ceived that all was quiet, and, return- 
ing, I found him in a kind of troubled 
doze, from whence he fell into a deep 
and peaceful fleep. Thus he continued^ 
for three days, wailing- and flumbering 

by 



The toot Or Q^tJALITt. ^• 

by fits, without taAiog any matter of 
iiouriihment, though his daughter andl 
implored him on our knees> and witfr 
tears. Ko reafonings, no entreaties could 
avail for appeafing himf. It was from the 
aflbciacion of our'forrows alone that he 
appeared to admit of any confc^ation. 

At length his pa^n fubfided into a 
fullen and filent calm ; he would ipeak ta 
no body t rfe would anfwfer none of u^ 
except by monofyilables; 

Withinr a few following w^dds, news - 
was brought me that oiH- mip the Phoenik 
was arrived in the Downs, fafe atid rich- 
ly ladeir from the Eaft hrfifes. 

Immediately Icarried the tidinj^s' to the 
old mati; in tne pleafiag. expe<%ation thai 
they would ferve to divett, ot, at leaiV,? 
to amufe his melancholy. Buty fixing hfs 
look upon me^ WhereiFofc, Harry, doft 
thou t'ellmeof {hips and Indies? he cried. 
Both Indii^are poor td me^» thiey have no^ 
thing that they can feiid me. I- have no 
road to gonipon earth, no'way upon fea to 
navigate ! I am already become a wild and 
wafted BabylonjWhereift theVoiceof mufic 
fliall never more be heard.- O ye old and^ 
unblefled knees, where are now your preci- 
ous babies, who were wont to play about ye^- 
and cling and climb upon ye ? Gone,- gone,* 
gone, gone, never,- never to return; 

C 3. W^^c^v 



54* The FOOL x)f qVAL TY.. 

Herc^ breakifig into tears, I cried^ We 
au-c both youD^ yet, say father -^ we may 
liave many children to be the comfort of 
lyour age. No, my Harry, no, he re- 
plied ! You may, indeed, have many chil-^ 
dreD, but yen will never have any cmldrea 
like my idling children* 

Love, as it fliould feem» my con£n. Eke 
'bodies, has its weight, and gains additionif 
^eloci^y in the deicent« It defcends from 
God to his creatures, and fo from creature 
to cFeat«re, but rarely knows a due returxk 
x>f afle^ion or gratitude. It is therefore in- 
comparably more intenfeiB the parent than: 
in the child, and flill acquires fncrcafine 
ibndneis towajvi the grandchild, and fa 
liowBward. Nay, you may almoft Haiver-^ 
fally obferve it more warm in patrons to-> 
ward their dependents, thailia ihefe who* 
are benefited toward their benefaftora. 

Mr. Golding, from this time, no more 
entered his counting-houfe, nor paid nor 
received vifits, nor kept up any correfpon- 
cience. Even my company, and that of- 
his daughter, appeared to opjnrcfs him, and 
he rarely left his apartment, where an old 
folio Bible was his only companion. 

Hereupon I began to withdraw our 
eiTcds from trade, and having called 
in the befl part of them, f lodged 
near half a milUoa in the Dutch funds. 

\»hca 



The Foot *¥ qtJALtTT.' s^ 

When I went to advifc with my father on 
.the occafionr What»* my child, faid he, 
what have I to fkj to' the world, or the 
things of the world ? Do juft as yoti plcalc' 
with the one and with the other ; and ne« 
ver confult a perfon op any affair wherein 
Ihe has^ no^ intereft or concern. 

One morning as I lay in htd^ Matty 
threw her anqs. about me^ and hiding her' 
blufliiog iape in my bofom^ My Harry, ' 
iays flie^ if you' could handfooftely. bring 
it about to my poor papa, perhaps it 
would be fome matter or coniolation to' 
him to know that I am with chiWv 

When I broke the matter to him, ht 
cid tiot af nrff i^jptfar to be fenftbly 
affei^ed ; in time, however, the weight 
of his affliction feeoKd confiderably lightV' 
ened, and, as my wife advanced in her* 
pregnancy, he began to: look us in the 
face, he fat with ue at one table, and 
became csonverfable as formerly. 

One day I went to- dine with Mr, Setr 
tie, a hardware- merchant, who had^ ap-' 
pointed to pay me a large fum- of moneys 
On my return in the evening, through^ 
Moorfields, attended only by my favounte 
Irifhman, a very faithful and aftive feU 
low, though it was yet fair day, I was 
fiiddenly let upon by a poffe of robbers, • 
who ruflicd on me from behind a co- 

C 4. V^o 



56 The FOOL a^ qu^ALITT- 

▼CTi. The firft of tfaem running Bp fired* 
diredly in my face, but did me- po fiir» 
ther damage than by carrying' away a 
finall* piece of the u^)er part- ef my left 
ear. Had the fools demanded my money^ 
I would have given it to them at a word^; 
but finding them bent on murder, I re* 
folved that they^ fhould have my life at as- 
dear a rate as poffible». E ihftantly drew 
my fword, and run the firft through the 
body ; and then, rufhing on the fecond 
afiailant, I laid him. alio on the ground'^ 
before he had time to take his aim, fa. 
that his piftol went harmlefsly off in- his 
fall. 

Fn the mean while my brave and loving: 
companion was not idle ; with two ftrokes. 
of his oaken cudgel he had levelled twa 
more of them witn the earth.. Hereupon 
die remainder halted, retreated into a. 
group, and. then flood and fired upon us 
all together ; but, obferving that we did 
not drop, they caft their arms^ to the: 
ground, and run off feveral ways as faft 
as they could. My good friend,. Tirlah. 
O'Donnoh,. then turned affedionatdy to^ 
me. Ace you hurt,, my dear mafter ? fays 
he. I: believe lam, Tirlah, let ns make 
home the beft we can. O, cried the 
noble creature, if no body was hurt but 
Tirlah,^^ Tirlah would not be hurt at alL 

Here,. 



tiTE FOOX OF CjUALIl^Y, 5/ 

Here; taking me under the arm', we 
Walke4 flowly to tiie city, till cbming^ to 
Z' hackney coach, he put me tendef ly intd 
it, and; fitting befidc me, fupported me, 
as I began to grow weak through much' 
cfFufion of blood. 

As fooa as we got home, the coach- 
m.in, as is their practice, thundered at tha 
door ; and my Matty, according to cuftom 
whenever I was abroad, was the readieft of 
all our domeftics to open iu 

By this time I had fainted, and was 
quite infehfible ; but when my tender and 
true mate faw me borne by two men into 
her prefence, all pale and bloody, Ihci 
who thought ihe had fortitude tofiipporC 
the wreck of the world, gave a mriek 
that was enough to alarm the neighbour- 
hood, and inftantly falling backward, got 
a violent contufion in the hinder part of 
her head* 

Immediately we were conveyed to fepa- 
rate beds, and all requifite help was pro- 
vided. It wais found that I had received 
fix' or feven flefh wounds, but none of 
them proved dangerous, as they were 
given at & diftance, and by piftol-fhot; 
But, alas, my Matty's cafe was very 
different ; ihe fell into fudden and pre-> 
mature labour, and, having fufiered ex- 
tt'cmc anguiih all the night, daring w4iich 

C 5 iU 



58 TiiE FOOL OF qiTALITT. 

fhe eeafed not to isquire after me, (He- 
was with difiiculty delivered of a male 
infant, who was fuflbcated in the birth. 

In the mean whilie, the good and ten^ 
der-hearted old gentleman hurried about,, 
inceflantiy, from one of us to the other^ 
wringing his handfi, and fcarcely retaining 
bis fenfes. 

As foon as my wounds were dreiTed,. 
* and I had recovered my memory, I look* 
ed about,, and haflily inquired for my 
wife ;. but they cautioufly anfwered me,, 
that (he was fomething indifpofed with 
the fright which ihc got at feeing me- 
bloody, and that her father had. iiiii(led: 
on her, going to bed. 

On the fecond dreffing of my wounds^ 
I wa» pronounced out of .danger,, and^ 
then they ventured to tell me of my 
Matty's mifcarriage, and of the bruiie 
which flie had got in h^ fall when ihe 
fainted •< On hearing this,. my heart was* 
cleft, as it were, io twain ;. L accufed- 
^myfelf of the murder of my wife aiid- 
infant ;. and I accufed all, without ex- 
ception, of their-. imUfcretion in not^con^ 
cealing;^ my diiafter from her.. 

At times Fbegao to iear that Joy wife 
was either dead, or much wor& than thoey:. 
reprefentcd . On niy third dreffi|Q[, there- 
iince^ I .I>ereiBptoriIy infifted on my bm^g: 

carried 



The fool of QUALITY. 59^ 

carried into her chamber. I fent her no-i 
lice of my vifit ; and, on entering tliG 
room. He lives then, Ihe cried,, my huf- 
band, niy Harry live?! It is enough*, I 
ihall die happy, 1 fhall now depart ia^ 
peace. 

Here I ordered myfdf to be laid by 
fier iide^ when taking a hand which ibk 
had feebly reached out, and preffing it to 
my lips. You would forfake me then^ my 
Matty ! You die, you fay, and you die 
happy in leaving me the moft wretched, 
the moft defolatc of men. You die, my 
love, you die ;^ and I, who would have 
fofiered you and your babe vdth my vi- 
tals, it is I who have dug. a grave for the' 
one and for the other. But you muft 
not forfake me, my Matty, I will not be 
forfaken by you; Since we cannot live 
afunder, . let us die, let us die together ! 

Here a pailionate iilence enfiied od 
either part* But, my wounds growing 
painful and beginning to bleed afreih, I 
was obliged to be carried back to my; 
own apartment. 

Within a few days more, I was fo welP 
recovered as to be able to walk about; 
fix)m which time I was a conftant attend-^ 
ant on nay beloved, -and becsBne her. moft 
tender ;uatd afliduous nurfdceepcr* 



«o The fool of qUALITT. 

You mud have heard, my coufin, that 
the cuftonis and manners of thofe tinies 
were altogether the reverfc of what they 
are at prefent. Hypocrify is no longer a. 
fault among men ; dlY now is avowed li« 
bertinifxn and open profanenefs ; and chil* 
dren feoff at the name and profeflion of 
that religion which their fathei^s revered- 
On the contrary, in thofe days, all men: 
were either real or pretended zealots ;^ 
every mechanic profeffed, like Aaron, to 
carry a urim and thummim about him ; 
and no man would engage in any bufinefs 
or bargain , though with an intent to over- 
reach his neighbour, without going apart, 
a3 he faid; to confult the Lord. 

My Matty, at the fame time, was the 
holieft of all feints, without any parade 
of fanAification • Htr$. was a religion, 
of whofe value Ihe had the daily and hour- 
ly experience ; it was, indeed, a religion 
of power. It held her, as on a rock, inr 
the midflof a. turbulent and flu^ating 
world. It gave her a peace of- fpirit that 
finiled, at provocation. It gave her com- 
fort \tk afi9uftion, patience in anguHh, ex- 
altation i0 huxttination, and' triumph: in 
death. 

• In about five weeks after Kcr unhappy 
inifcarriage^ Ihc appeared on the recove- 
ry, though by veiy flow degrees, and- 

with; 



The FaOL or qjJALITT. St 

^ith aififtance, at times, fat up in her bed ;: 
when her olddl phyfician, one mornings 
called me apart,, I* am loath. Sir, faid he, 
very loath ta acquaint you with my ap»- 
prehenfions. I wiih. I may be miftaken^ 
but I fear greatly for you ! I fear that your 
dear lady cannot recover. By the fymp- 
toms, I eonjcchire that an iblcefs, orim* 
pofihume,. is forming within her ; but a^ 
few days will afcertaia matters either for 
us or ag^nft us. 

Had all forts of evil tidings- come 
erouding one upon another, I (hould not 
have been affected as I then was affeded. 
I could not rife from my feat to bid the 
doctor adieu. My knees tremUed under 
me ! A fwimming came before my eyes ! 
and a iudden ficknefs relaxed and rever* 
fed thy whole frame. Alas, I had not, 
at that Cime, the refource of my Matty ^ 
I had not on the armour with which me 
was armed to all iflues and events. I, 
however, raifed my thoughts to heaven, 
in a kind of helplefs acquiescence rather 
than confident refifi;nation. I ftruggled 
not to appear weaker than became my 
manhood, and I faid to myfdf. Doctors 
have often been miftaken. 

Having recoUefted my ftrength and 
ipirits the beft I could, I adventured to 
toter my wife's apartment. She was jufl? 

raifed^ 



42 The fool of qUitLITY.^ 

raiied in her bcdi, from whence her pale 
and emaciated countenance liioked forth 
as the fun, toward his fetting, looks 
through z fickly atmofphere, in confi- 
dence of his arifing in the fulnefs of 
morning-glory. 

Having cautioufly and dejectedly leat- 
cd myfelf bolide her, fhe reached out 
both her hands, and, prefDng one' of 
mine between them, I love you no long- 
cr, my Harry! flie cried; I love you no 
longer. Tour rival, at length; has con- 
quered. I am- the bride of another. 
And yet I love you in a meafure, fince 
bx you I love all that is him^ or diat i9 
Us, and that T think is much,' a great 
deal; indeed, of all that is lovely* O; 
my dear, my fweet, mine only enemy«. 
as I- may (ay 1 Riches were nothing unto 
me, pleafures were nothing unto me,, 
the world was nothing unto me ; you, 
and you only, Harry, flood between ma 
and my heaven, between me and my 
God* Long, and often, and vainly, 
have I ftrove and flruggled againU you ;> 
but my Bridegroom, at length, is be- 
come jealous of you! My true owner 
calls me from you, and takes noe all to = 
liimfelf ! Be not alarmed then, my Har- 
77, when I tell you that I muft leave 
jfitL. YoUrWiU g^dfvcfor s%e, you wiU- 
' grieve' 



The fool of <!^ittlTT. <ry 

grieve greatly forme, nay bd^vcd ! bvLt- 
give way to the kindly ihower that^ your 
tx)rd fhed for his Lazarus, and let the 
tears of humanity alleviate and lighten^ 
the weight of your affliction. — Ah*, 
my Harry, f tremble for you! What a: 
courfe you have tO' run !— what perils !* 
what temptations! Deliver him. from 
them, my Mafter,. deliver him from thein^ 
all! — ^ Again, what Uifsful profoeds! — 
They are gojie, they are vanifljed! — t 
fink, I die under the weight and length 
j9f fucoeeding^ mifery ! — Again it opens I 
All is cleared, and his end, like that of 
Job, is more blefied than his beginning*. 
— Ah, my Harry^ my Harrys your 
heart muft be wrung by many engines, ^ 
it (hall be tried in many fires p out I< 
truQ, it is a golden* heart, and will, come 
forth with sui its weight'. 

You have been dreamingi my k)ve ! I' 
fiiid, you have been dreaming ; and the 
impreiiion fiill lies heavy and mebncholj^ 
on your memory. 

Yes^ ihe replied, I^ have been dream- 
ing indeed;, but then my. dreams are 
much more real than my waking vifionsv 
When all things fenfible are mut ouCp 
it is then that the fpirit enlarges, grows 
eonfcioHS of its own activity, its owr 

Mw«r and Bccfttcuac^r and iees bj M 

Ught 



I 



44 The FOOL op qtrALfTT. 

light whife evidence is beyond that of 
the fun. I will tell yoj a fecret, my 
Harry, there is nothing" in the univcrfc 
but Httlenefs and greatnefs, the little* 
nefs oF the creature, and the greatneis 
of God, and in the fenfe of this lies the 
effence of all philofophy and' of all re- 
ligion. Be content, then, with your lot, 
my hufband, be content to be little^ 
if you wifli to be great. Become a no- 
thingneis, an emptmefs, and then your 
God will bring the fulnefs of his own 
immenfity upon you, and will open a 
world in your fpirit more expanded and 
more glorious than this furrounding 
world with all its luminaries. 

O, my angel, I cried, ihould any thing- 
happen to you, I ihould then be little 
indeed. But I dare not look that way, 
for I know, I find, I feel that I could^ 
not furvive you. 

You muft furvive me, my Harry, nay 
you will onceniiore be married. 1 be- 
held your bride laft night. Even now 
ihe ftaDd» before me, the fifier of my 
fpirit, and one of the Ibvelieft compofi- 
tions of fin and death, that ever was. 
framed for diflblution. Her, alfo, you 
will lofe ; and you will think, nay, you 
will affure yourfelf, that no powers io 
kcaven. and earth can avail ifor a ray o£ 

comfort*- 



The FOOL of QVKUTY. 6$ 

comfort. In this life, however, -jrou vnXL 
finally, unexpeftedly, and moft wonder- 
fully be blcffcd; and, foon after, we 
ihall all meet^ and be more intimately 
and more endearingly wedded than ever ; 
where yet there is neither marrying nor 
giving in marriage. 

While fhe yet fpoke, her pains, as 
the pains of labour, again came upon 
her, and went off, and again retiuned^ 
after intermitted fwoonings. 

O^ my coufin, what a folemn, what a- 
fearful thing is death ! All our inlets of 
knowledge and fenfation clofed at once ! 
the found of chearfulneis, and the voice of 
friendfhip, and the comfort of light, fliut 
out from us for ever ! Nothing before us 
1>ut a blacknefs and depth of oblivion^ 
or, beyond it,, a doubtful and alarming 
fenfibility, firange fcenns, and ft range 
worlds, ftrange affociates, and ftrange 
perceptions, perhaps of hoirid realities, 
infinitely worle than nonentity! Such are 
the brighteft profpeAs of infidelity in 
death. 

Where, at that time, are your feof- 
fors, your defiers of futurity ? where 
your merry companions, who turn their 
own eternity into matter of laugh and 
ridicule? Deje<fled and aghaft, their coun- 
tenance wholly fallen, and their heart 

iunk 



46 Tm FOOL or qUALItT, 

iiink within them, diey all tgremble ziii 
wUh tsy bcfieve in this the hoyr of di^ 
iblutkm. They feel their eKiftemce Tap- 
ped and finking from under thcro ; and 
nature compels them, in the drowning, 
of their fouls, to cry out to fomething, 
to any thing. Save, £ive, or I perifli! 

Far different was the ft ate of my lit-^ 
At and lowly Matty, my fiunt of faints^ 
at that tremendous period y where aH- 
others would have funk, there ihe foared 
aloft; and ihe dropped the world and 
its wealth, with her body and all the 
fendble affcdions thereof, vidth the fame 
iatisfa<^ion that a poor man, iuft come 
Co a great eftate, would drop LTs tatteredf 
j;arb to put on gorgeous apparels 

O, my Beloved 1 ihe would cry in the 
midil of her paios, I have been weakly 
through life ! I have been weaknefs it»^ 
folf, and therefore not able to take up 
thy crofs ! But be thou ftrong in my 
weaknefs, fhew thy mightinefs in mcr 
and then lay it upon me with all it9 
weight ! 

Again^ after a fwoon, and when her 
pangs became exceiHve, I refufe not thy 
.procefs, myMafter! ihe cried. Thycrols 
and thorny crown they are all my ambi* 
tion. Point thy thorns, Xwi& them hard^ 
tiy let them pierce into my foul, fo thou 

fuffer 



Thb 3rOO|. OF QpALITY. $t 

/ufier me aot to fail .or fall from, thec^ 
1 care not. 

Thmk, my cotliiBr, what I cndurei 
upon tliat occaiion ! My rending heart 
Ihared her fu&rings,, and felt pang for 
pang. Hay^ I was not far from mur- 
muring and queftioning with my €rod on^ 
his putting to fuch tortures the mott 
guiltlefs of his creatures. If the Iambic 
of thy flpck, Ifceretly faid! if thy lambs^ 
are appointed to fiich. excruciating fenfa* 
tions, what muft be the portion of fuch 
^finners as I am ? 

When (he drew near the goal of her 
bleiled cou£& upon earthy O^ my almigh- 
ty Samfon ! flie faintly cried, thou flia- 
keft the two- pillars of my frail and linfuK 
j&bric! 7iniih thea thy conqueil in me,;, 
down-, down- with the whole building ap- 
pointed, to ruin! let no one, O Lord, of 
inine enemies or of thine enemies efcape 
thy . viftorious arm ! but flay all thofe hy 
my deathy. with whono \ have been vainly 
combating, during my life'- time ! So fay- 
ingy her p<uns in an inftant forfook her* 
The foraor of her countenancce was fud- 
denly changed from the e:i[prefIion of 
agony into that of ecftafy. She raifed 
her hands on high^ and exerting herfelf 
to follow them^ fhe criers I come, I 
come.! then fighed ^nd dropped over.. — 

The. 



69 The FOOL of qtJALITT, 

The mufcles of her face itill retained 
the ftamp of the laft fentimeat of hear 
foul, and while the t>ody baftened to be 
mingled with earthy it feemed to partake 
of that heaven to which its fpirit had 
been exalted. 

You may think it odd, deareft Ma** 
dam, that, for fome time paft, I have 
taken no note of the man to whom f 
was tied by every pofCble band of duty^ 
gratitude, and affedionr The fz& is, 
that, during the latter part of mv wifeV 
iUnefs, and for fome Weeks after her 
death, Mr^ Golding was confined to his^ 
chamber by a fevcre fit of the gout, and 
the acutenefs of his pains fcarce permit- 
ted him to attend to any other concemV 
While my Matty lived, therefore, I di- 
vided my time and afliduities as equally 
as I could between the daughter and h^ 
ther; and, at any intervals of eafe, I 
ufed to read to him his favourite pana- 
ges in the Bible. 

As foon as my faint had expired, I 
charged the fenrants not to give any in- 
timation of her death to their msdler ; 
but, alas, our filence and our looks wens 
too fure indicators of the fatal tidings ; 
for, from the higheft to the leaft, my 
Matty had been the idol of, the whole 

houfe. 



The fool of QUALITY. 69 

lioufe, and her dciih appeared to thenoi' 
as the lofs of every earthly pofleffion. 

Having looked, feveral times, intent* 
ly and inquifitivdy in my face. Well, 
Harry, fays Mr. Grolding, all is over 
then, 1 fee ! We mnft go to her, but my 
child {hall no more return to us. — You 
ate filent, my Harry. — O thou fell glut- 
ton. Death! I had but one morfel left 
for the whole of my fuflenance, and that 
too thou haft, devotired. Here he gave 
^ deep groan, and funk into a ftate of 
•wifenubiuty ; from which, however, he 
was foon recovered by the return of an 
agonizing fit of the gout* 

• When I look back, my fair coufin, on 
the paflages of my life ; it is a matter of 
amazement to me, that a creature fo frail, 
fo feebly and fo delicately corifiituted as 
man, with nerves fo apt to be racked, 
and a heart to be wrung with anguifh, 
can poflibly fupport the weights of cala- 
mity that, at times, are laid upon him. 

I had not vet dropped a tear. I was 
in a ftate of half-ftupid and half-flighty 
ihfenfibiHty \ as OQe who, having loft eve- 
ry thing, had nothing further to look 
for, and therefore nothing to regard. 
But when I faw my dear old man, my 
beft friend, my father, whelnied under 
fuch a depth of afHi^on^ all the fluices 

o£ 



yo The fool of qUALITT. 

of my foul and inmoft affe^Uons :werc 
laid open, and I broke into an arowed 
paifion of tears and exclamations, till« 
like David in his firife af lave with 
Jonathan, I exceeded. I accufed myfdf af 
ail the evils that had happened to his 
houfe ; and I devoted the <uy to darkneis 
and the night to defolation, wherein, by 
my prefence and conne^ons, I had 
brought thafe mifchiafs upon him« The 
good man wag greatly firuck, and, 
think, partly confoled by the exce& of 
my forrows ; and ^1 defolate as he was, 
he attempted to adminifter that comfort 
to me which he himfelf wanted more than 
any who had life. 

^reak not your heart, my Harry 1 break 
not your heart, my child ! he cned ; de^ 
prive me not of the only confolation that 
is left me ! You are now my only truft, 
my only ftay upon earth. A wretched 
merchant I am, whofe whole w^th is 
caft away, lave thee, thou precious cafket, 
thou only remnant of all my pofleffions ! 
My girl, indeed, was thy true lover, the 
tendereft of all mates ; her love to thee, 
my fon, was pafiing tue love of woman ! 
But we have loft her, we have lofi her, 
and wailing is all the portion that is left 
us below. 

As 



The fool of QUALITY., yt 

As fbon as the family heard the Totce 
^ our mournings they too gave a loofe 
to the impatience of their gnefs, and all 
the houfe was filled with the fonnd of 
laments^ion. 

On the following day I fummoned the 
chief medical artius, and got the pre- 
cious remains of my angel embalmed. 
She was laid under a fumptnous canopy, 
with a filver coffin at her bed's foot ; and 
cv«ry night when the houfe was at reft, 
^ I ftole fecrctly from my bed, and ftretched 
myfelf befide her!, I prcffed her cold lips 
to^mine ! I clafped her corfe to my warrfi 
bofom, as though I expe<f^ed to reftorc 
it to life by transfufing my foul into it ! 
Ifpoketoher, aswhcnKving! I remind- 
ed her of the fcvcral tender and endear- 
ing paflagesr of oin: loves j and I remind- 
ed her alio of the lofs of our little ones, 
by whom we became eflentially one, in- 
fqjarably united in foul and body for 
ever. 

There is furcly, my couiin, a fpecies 
of pleafure in grief 5 a kind of foothing 
and deep delight that arifcs with the 
tears which are pulhed from the foun- 
tain of God in the foul, from the cha- 
rities and fenfibilities of the human heart 

divine* 

True, 



74 The FOOL of qXJALiTT. 

True, tni«, my precious coufin^ re- 
plied the Countefs, giving a freih loofe to 
her tears; O Matilda, I would I were 
with thee! True, xnycoufin, I fay, evea 
now I fink, I die under the pleafure of 
your narration. 

Upon the ninth night, xrontinued Mr« 
Clinton, as I lay by the fide of all that 
remained of my Matty, overtoiled and 
overwatched, I fell into a deepHeep. My 
mind notwithftanding, at the time, feem- 
ed more awake and more alivd to obje^ 
than ever. In an inftant ihe flood vifible 
and confefTed before me. I faw her clear- 
er than at noon-day, by the light which 
fhe caft with profufion abroad. Every 
feature and former trace feemed heighten- 
ed into a luflre without a lofs of the leafl 
fimilitude. She finiled ineffable fweet- 
ne(s and bleflednefs upon me. And, 
ftooping down, I felt her embrace about 
my heart and about my fpirit, while, at 
the fame time, I faw her bent iA com- 
placence before me. After a length 
of ecflatic pleafure, which I felt from 
hjcr communion and infufion into my 
fpul i My Harry, fays fhe, grieve not for 
ncie; all the delights that your world 
could fum up in an age would not amount 
to my blifs, no, not for an hour ! It is a 
weight of enjoyment that, in an inflant, 

would 



The fool of qUALlTY. 73 

'would cruih to nothing tl>e whole frame 
of your niOFtdicy. C«ieve not then for 
mc, my Harry, but rej&gn my beggarly 
fjpoils to their beggarlv parent, ames to 
aahes, and dull to auft 1 in my inordinate 
fondnefs for you, I have at length ob« 
tained a promife, that my Mail r and your 
Ijwiafter, my Beloved and your Lover,' fhall 
finally bear you triumphant through all 
die enemies that are fet in fearful array 
againft you. At thefe words my foul 
was overpowered with ecftafy, too mighty 
for mortality to bear! Every fenfe was 
fufpended ; and I funk into a (late of 
utter oblivion. 

Toward th^ dawning I was awakened 
by the clapping of hands and the cries of 
lamentation. Starting up, I perceived 
Mr. Golding at the bedlicje, fufpended 
over his Matty and me, and pouring forth 
his complaints. 

There was a favourite domeftic of his, 
a Uttle bid man, who had always kept a 
careful and inquiiitive eye over every 
thing that was in or concerned our houfe- 
hold. This Argus, it feems, had fufpedl^ 
ed my nightly vifits to the dead, and, 
lurking in a corner, iaw me open and en- 
ter the chamber >yhere the corpfe was de 
poiited. As he liy iu his mailer's ap 
ment, he took the firft opportunity of his 

VoL.m. D \>€ycv^ 




74 The FOOL of qUALITY. 

being awake to impart what he thought a 
matter of extraordinary intelligence to 
him. Sir, fays he, if I am not ^eatly 
deceived, my young mafter is this mo* 
ment in bed with his dead lady. What 
is this you tell me ? cried Mr. OcAding. 
No, ^ohtij no, what you fay is impoi* 
fible. All who live, love that which is 
living alone ; whatever favours of death, 
is deteflable to all men. As I am here, 
replied John, i am almoft aflured that 
what I tell you is faA. Peace, peace, 
you old fool, faid Mr. Golding ; think you 
that our Harry is more loving than father 
Abraham, and yet Abraham defired to 
bury his dead out of his fight ? I know 
not how that may be, laid trufty John ; 
but, if you are able to fiir, I will help 
you to go and fee. I am fure the thought 
of it melts the very heart within me. 

Accordingly, Mr. Golding, like old 
Jacob, ftrengthened himfelf and arofe ; 
and, pained as he was, he came, with the 
help of his John, to the place where 
I lay. 

■ Having for fome time looked upon me, 
as I flept with his Matty f aft folded in my 
arms ; he could no longer contain his 
emotions, but he and John broke forth 
into tears and exclamations. O, my 
children, my children, my deareft chil- 
dren, 



The fool of QUALITY. 75 

dren, he cried, wliy did ye exalt me to 
iuch a pitch of bleffednefs ? Was it only 
to caft me down into the deeper gulf - 
of mifery, a gulf that has neither bank 
nor bottom ? 

As I arofe, aH afliamed to be detected 
in that manner, the good man caught me 
in his arms. My Harry, my Harry, fays 
he, what ihall I pay you, my fon, for 
your fuperabundant iove to me, and to 
mine ? Gould my wretchednefc give you 
blifs, I ihould almoft think myfelf blefled 
in being wretched, my Harry ! 

I now prepared to execute the lafl: 
command of my angel, and to confign to 
earth the little that was earthly in her. 
But when our domelHcs underfiood that 
all that was left of their loved miftrefs was 
now going to be taken away from them 
for ever, they broke into tears anew, and 
fet no bounds to their lamentations. 

Her defolate father was delirous of at- 
tending the funeral ; but, on my knees, 
I difluaded him from it, as I was afliired 
it would burft in twain the already-ov-er- 
ftretched thread of his age and infirmities. 
He then infilled on having the lid of the 
coffin removed, and bending over, he 
caft his whole body on the corfe ; again 
he rofe and gazed upon it, and clapping 
iiis hands with a ihout, Is this, this ts\^ 

D 2 NiJ'QStXAi, 



76 The FOOL of qUALITY. 

woild, he cried, the whole of my po& 
feilions ? Are you the one that was once 
my prattling Matty ? — The playfellow 
of my knees, the laugher away of care, 
who brought chear to my heart, and 
warmth to my bofom i ^e you the one 
for whom alone I fpent my nights in 
thought and my days in application ? Is 
this ail that is left, then, of my length of 
labours ? Oh ! my fpark of life is quench- 
ed ! In thee, my Matty, my Matty, the 
flowing fountain of my exiftcnce is dried 
up for e\'er. 

I'here is fomething exceedingly folemn 
and affecting, my coufin, in the circum- 
ftances and apparatus of our funcralh; 
they are oppreflive even to minds tliat are 
no way concerned or interefled in the 
death of the party lamented. Though I 
giicved no more for my Matty ! though 
I was as affured of her bliis as 1 was of my 
own beings yet when the gloom of tlie 
proceifion was gathered around me ; when 
Theard the ^i'ailings of the many ^milies 
m hom her charity had fuilained i when I 
heard the bitter fobbings of the fervants, 
\i horn her fwectncfs had io endearingly 
attached to her perfon ; when all joined 
to bewail themfelves, as loft in her lofs ; 
my heait died, as it were, within me, 
and I ihould have been fuffocatcd on the 

fpot. 



The fool of QUALITY* 77 

tpot, had I not given inftant way to the 
fwdl (Jf my (brrows. 

The tempeft of the foul, Madam, like 
that of the elements, can endure but for 
a feafon. The paffion of Mr. Golding, 
on the interment of every joy and of every 
hope that he could look for upon* earth, 
within a few weeks fubfided, or rather 
funk into a folid 'but iuUen peace, a kind 
p( peace that feemed to fay there, is 
nothing in this univerfe that can diilurb 
me. 

Harry, ifaid he, one evening, I have 
Ibeen thinking of the vifion that I have 
had. Vifion, Sir! (aid I ; has my Matty 
then appeared to you ? Yes, he anfwcred, 
flie was the principal part of my vilioa 
for thcfe twenty years paft. The vifion 
that I mean, my Harry, is the dreaoi of 
a very long and laborious Ufie. Here 
have I, 'by the toil of fifty years applica- 
tion, (craped together and accumulated 
as much as, in thcfe times, would fet 
kings at contention, and be accounted a 
mrorthy caufe for fpilling the blood of 
thoufands ; and yet what are thefe things 
to me, or of what value in th'emfelves^ 
more than the fiones and rubbiih that 
make our pavement before the door ? I 
have been hungering and thirfting after 
the goods of this world, Lhave acquired 

D 3 an 



78 The FOOL of QUALITT. 

all that it could give me ; and now my &ul^ 
like a fick flomach, difeorges the whole* 
I then took one of his hands^ and pref*^ 
iing it tenderly between mine, O my 
father ! I cried, my dear, dear ^sither i 
O, that I might be made fons and daugh- 
t<:rs, and every fort of kindred to you! 
All. that I am and have ihould gladly be 
ipent in bringing any kind of comfort to 
you, my father! 

In about a fortnight after, as I entered 
his apartment one morning, to bid him 
good morrow, I obferved that his coun- 
tenance had much altered from what it 
was the evening before, that he looked 
deeply dcjeAed, and feemed to breathe 
Mith diflkulty. 

Are not you well, Sir? No, fiiys he,, 
my fpirits are greatly oppreiTed. I find 
that I mufl leave you ihortly ;. I believe 
that I mufi go fuddenly, but where to? 
That is the quefiion ! the very terrible 
<|uefiion ;. the only quefiion of any im^ 
portance in heaven or in earth I Sure,. 
Sir! laid I, that can be no quefiion to 
you, whofe whole life has^ been a con- 
tinned courfe of righteoufnefs^ of daily 
worlhip to God, and good will to aU 
men ? If you have any fins to account 
for, they muft be covered tenfold by the 
multitude of your charities. 

Talk 



The fool of QUALITY. 7^ 

Talk not» Hacry ! laid he, of tlie filthy 
rags of my own rigbteoufnefs. I am fac 
from the confidence of the booftful Pha-t 
rifee ! alas, I have not even that of ther 
poor and hmnbled publican, for I dare 
not look up to (ay, Lordj be merciful ta 
me a finner ! wher^ore then do you fpeak 
of having finiihed my courfe toward 
God zad toward man ? It is but lately, 
very lately that I fet out upon it, and 
I am cut fbort before I have got withia 
fight of the goal. Yes, Harry i I fear, 
I know, I feel that there i» no falvation; 
for me* 

You amaze me. Sir \ (aid I, you tec^ 
rify me Co death. If there is not (alva-^ 
tion for fuch as you, what a depth of 
perd&tion opens for the reft of mankind ! 

I wotdd you could convince me ! he: 
cried^ I want to be comforted! I defire 
comforf^ any kind of confdatioa. But 
\ feel my condemnation within myfelf > 
moreover, I fee every tex t of the gofpel of 
the words of life' terribly marfhalled, and 
fet ia broad array againft me^ What 
texti Siv ? (aid I ; I am fure I know of 
no texts that bring terror or condemna-^ 
tion to the yaOi- Ab^ Harry, he replied^ 
juftice is of the law and the circumcifion,. 
and has notliing to do with the new 
covenant or tlie new man. For what fays 

D 4. the 



8a The FOOL or qUALITY. 

the great apoille ? Circumcijion avartetb 
nothingj neither uncircumcifion^ but a nev9 
creature. For Chrift himfetf has faid. 
Except a man be born again^ he cannot fee 
the kingdom $f God. Again, the fame 
apoftle faith, / delight in the law of God 
after the inward man. And again. My 
little childreny of wpom I travOtl in birth 
again, until Chrift be formed in you. Now, 
if all thefe correfponding expreflions, of 
being born again, a new creature^ a new 
man, an inward man, Chrifl formed in us^ 
&c. are to be gloifed and explained away, 
as meanine little more than a ftate of 
moral feniiments and moral behaviour, 
there can be nothing of real import in 
the gofpel of Chrift. 

Again, hear what the Redeenier £iith. 
Except ye be converted, and become as little 
children, ye fhall not enter into the kingdom 
of heaven. A^n, If any man will come 
after me, let htm deny himfelf and take up 
his crofs, and follow me. Again, Wbojo^ 
ever he be of you that forfaketh not all that 
be hath, he cannot be my difciple, &c. 

If thefe things, I cried, su-e to be ta- 
ken according to the apparent fenfe and 
import of the letter, neither the teach- 
ers of the gofpel, nor thoie who are 
taught, can be ^ved% 

Therefore, 



rut VOOt or C^VAlltir. (ti 

Therefore, replied he^ i€ is faid, thaf 
fhany be called^ bui few ehefen* And 
a;jain. Enter ye in at the jlratt gate # 
for loide is the gate^ and broad is the way 
that leadeth to dejlruclion^ and many there 
be which go in thereat : becaufe Jirait 
is the gatej and narrow is the way which 
leadeth unto life^ and few there be that 
find it. O, my Harry, my Harry, our 
lives have been employed in feeking 
and loving the worlds and the things if 
the worlds therefore the love of the Fa-" 
ther could not be in us* O, that I had 
never been bom ! O thou God, whofe 
tribunal, at this hour, is fet up fo tre- 
mendoufly againft nae ; at length I feel 
the propriety of thy precepts, m rejeft- 
ing the world, and all that is therein ! 
For what can they yield, fave a Uttle 
food and raiment to bodily corruptioD^ 
or incitements to that pride which caft 
Lucifer into a gulf that now opens be-' 
fore me without a bottom ? 

As I trembled and had nothing to an^ 
fwer, I propoled to bring fome of our 
clergy to him. No, Harry, no, fiys he, 
1 will have none of their woridty comforts! 
I will not reft my foul on expirations as 
bafeleis as the bubbles which float in the 
air. Can they perfuade me that I am 
cme of the few who sure chofen j cai^ 

D 5 tbeY 



3> The FOOL of qXJALnY. 

they tell me wherein I have ftriven to 
rnter at the ftrait gate, where manv ihaft 
Ice c to enter, but (ball not be able? 

Here he funk into a fit of agonizing 
desperation, fo that a cold dew broke 
forth from all parts of his body, and felt 
cirop after drop, down his ghaftly and 
fearful countenance. Never, Madam, 
never did I feel fuch horror as I thea 
felt ! I was affrighted, and all frozen to 
my iumoft foul. Haile, my dear Sir^ 
exclaimed Lady Maitland, make hafte 
through this part of your narration, I 
befeech you ! I alfo feel for myfelf ! I am^ 
terrified to the laft degree.. 

At length, continued Mn Clinton, I 
recoUeftcd myfelf a little. My mailer^ 
I cried, my father, my deareft father^. 
iince you will not take comfort in your 
own righteoufnefs, take comfort in that 
of him who was made righteoufnefs for 
you. Do you not now rejed the world i 
Do you not now deny yourfelf ? I do^ 
r do, he iaidj I detefl: the one and the 
other*. And do you not feel that yoa. 
are wholly a. compound of fin and of 
death ? Ay, he cried, there is Ae weldbv 
there is tlie mountain under which 1 fink 
for ever. Come then to Chrifl, my fa- 
ttier, heav^ laden as you are, and he 
tfrill) queftxfonlefs^ embrace jpxtf and be. 

reft 



The FOOL OF qtrALITY. S'f. 

reft to you, my father ! I would come,, 
Harry, he cried, but I dare not, I am 
not able. Strive, my father ; do but 
turn to him, and he will more than meet 
you. Cry out, with finking Peter, Save^ 
Lord, or I pervjh ! and he will catch voir 
with the hand of his ever-ready falvation-- 

Here his countenante began to fettle^ 
into an eameft compofure ; and his eyes 
were turned and fixed upward ; while 
his old and enfeebled body continued to^ 
labour under the fymptoms of near difr 
folution. At length he ftarted', and, fei-: 
ing my hand with a dying preffure,. 
There is comfort, Harry, th^re is com-- 
fort ! he cried, and expired •- 

I W A S now caft,^ once more, upon a . 
flrange and fri^ndlefs world'. All the in- 
tercfts of my heart were buried with this : 
family ; and I feemcd to myfelf, as with-*- 
out kindred or conne^ons in the midfl: 
of mankind. Your dfear mamnna, indeed,., 
fometimes called to condole: with me,:; i 
and water my lofles with het tears ; and. 
in her, and you, my coufin^ young as - 
you then were, was locked up and cen-. , ; 
tared the whole fiock that I had left o£' .1 
endearing fenfation^*-. 

As the fcenes of my foimer Kappijiefs . 
ferved, daily and nightly, to render me 
more wretched by a fad recolledion ; F 

D 6' dei(.<^xafiSL^^ 



84 The FOOL OF (QUALITY, 

determined to quit my houfe, and to take 
private lodgings. For this purpofe I 
lummoned Mr. Golding*s domeftics ; and^ 
as he had made no will, I firft paid them 
their wages, and then gave them fuck 
pretended legacies as brought their tears 
and their bleffings in a fhower upon me^ 

As foon as I had difcharged all, ex- 
cept the two favourite fervants of my 
mailer and my Matty, I defired. that 
John, our little old man> fhould be fent 
to me. 

John, faid I, as he entered, here is a 
bill for five hundred pounds, which our 
good old mailer has kft you, in token of 
his acknowledgment of your true and 
loving fervices, and to help, with what 
you have faved, to foften and make cstfy 
the b^d q£ death in your old age. Do 
you mean to pa^ with me. Sir I £ud 
John, ieeiKOVM;]^ lkaidite(9 aod uncon* 
cemcd aboQt t^. gift winch X had oficr- 
"Wl hii^. In&^yfA^ fiudi, in my pre^ 
"fipoit &iit: <^ 4g^&m9 attendance of any 
ij^bd . WQ^M ,biit biQ s^ encumbrance to 
*ife^ 'Thfi);:8&:,. you may keep your 
^IVMtf:*^ y<^iuf€lf,L for I flioll break iny^ 
Ik^^ befwe Sve and twenty hours are. 
evm^ ^X9 io^i f^id I,. I am far from 
^^^>^<^8 .)i^ from me ; fiav with me as. 
my fdcad and welcome^ hut not as myr 

fervant^ 



The fool of qUALlTY. 8$ 

fcrvant, and I fhall fee the comfort of 
old times in always feeing you about me. 
Thank you, tliank you. Sir, he cried, I 
will not difturb you with my tears ; but 
I fliould die uhblefied, I ihould die un-* 
blefled, if I died out of your prefence ! 
So faying, he rufhed from me in a fit of 
reftrained paffion. 

I then fent for my wife's maid, whom 
I formerly mentioned. She had jufi heard 
of my difcharging the other fervants, 
and entered with a fad and alarming coun- 
tenance. Ck>me near, Mrs. Su£m, I am 
going to part with you, faid I, come to 
me and give me a farewell-kiis. She ap- 
proached with downcaft looks ; when, ta- 
king her in my arms, I prefled and kified 
her repeatedly, and fcarcely with*held nvy 
tears. O my girl ! my Matty's precious 
girl ! I cried, I am not forgetful of your 
love, your honour, and diiintereftednefs 
toward us. Here, my Sufy, your dar- 
ling miftrefs prefents you with this bill 
of a thoufand pounds. Thi3, however, 
does not difcharge me from my regard 
and attention to you ^ you are of a help* 
Icfs fex, my Sufy, that is fubjeft to many 
impoiitions and calamities ; wherefore,, 
when this fum fhall fail you, come to me 
again ; come to me as to your friend, as- 
to your debtor, Sufy» and I will repeat 

my 



%6 The FOOL of qUALITY'. 

my remembrance, and repeat it a^ain, 
as you may happen" to have occafion j 
for, while I have fixpence left, the fa- 
vourite friend of my Matty fhall not want, 
her proportion • 

Here the gratefirf and amazed creature* 
threw herfelf on the floor. She cried 
aloud, while the family heard and echo- 
ed to her lamentations. She clafped my 
knees, fbe kiffed my feet again and again •• 
I could not difengage myfelf, I could 
not force her from me. O, my mafter !' 
flie cried, ray all that is left of my ado- 
red, my angel miftrefs ! muft I then be- 
torn from you ? muft you Jive without 
the fervice of the hands and heart of 
your Sufy ? But I underftand your regard: 
and care for me, my mafter ! it is a cruel 
and naughty world, and muft be com-- 
plied with. 

Here I compelled her to rife, and,, 
kiffing her again, I turned haftily to the 
chamber where my Matty's corpfe had 
been- laid ; and bolting the door, and 
cafting myfelf on the bed, I broke into 
tears, and at length wept myfelf to fleep. 

While L was preparing to leave the 
once-loved manilon, Ifound in Mr. Gold- 
ing's cabinet, a parchment that much 
furprifed' me. On my marriage he had 
Ifropofed to make a lettlement ot his for* 

tunc. 



The fool of qUALITY. Sj 

tune upon me, which, however, I ob- 
ftinately refufed to accept ; whereupoiiy 
without my privity, he got this deed 
perfected, which contained ^n abfblute 
conveyance to me of all his worldly ef- 
fects and poffeilions ; and this again re* 
newed in me the tender and endearing^ 
remembrance of each of thofe kindnefles 
and benefits which he had formerly con- 
ferred upon me. 

I now found myfelf in pofleflion of 
near a million of nu>ney, wbich^ howe»- 
ver, in my difpofition of mind at the: - 
time, appeared no worthier thaa fo much 
lumber m a wafie room. And I know 
not how it was, that through, the fubre«- 
quent courfe of my life, although I was 
by no means of an oeconomical turn, 
though I never fued for a- debt, nor gave 
a denial to the wants of thofe who a&ed, 
nor turned away from him who defired 
to borrow of me, yet uncoveted wealth, 
came pouring in ilpon me. 

It was not without fbme iighs and a. 
plentiful ihower, that I departed from 
the feat of all mj paft eB)oymeats. I. 
took lodgings within a few doors of your 
father ; and my little houfehold conufted 
of my favourite Irifhman, my little old. 
man, two footmen^ and an dderly woi 



•8 TrtE FOOL OF qUALITY. 

man who ufed daily to drefs a plain difk 
of meat for us. 

It was then, my faireft coufin, that 
your opening graces and earlv attractiond 
drew me daily to your houfe ; my heart 
was foothed and my griefs cheared by 
the fweetncfs of your pratde ; and I wa<j 
melted down and moulded anew, as it 
were, by the unaffected warmth and in* 
nocence of your careffes. 

As I had no faith in dreams, not even 
in that of my Matty, I thought it impoC- 
fible that I fhould ever marry again. I 
therefore refolved, in my own mind, to 
make you my heir, and to endow you, 
in marriage, with the beft part of my 
fortune. — But you are a little pale, Ma« 
dam! Tou look dejected and fatigued. 
If you pleafe, I will fufpend my narration 
for the prefent ; and in the morning, if 
you chufe it, as early as you wul, I 
mall renew and proceed in my inflenifi^ 
cant hiftory.-^Here he preffed her hand 
to his lipg; l^e withdrew with a tearful 
eye and a heaving heart ; and the next 
day he rcfumed his narration as follow-^ 
eth. 



CHAP. 



The fool of qUALITY. 8^ 

C H A P. XV. 

THOUGH you, my cottfin, at that 
time, were a great confolation to 
me, and a fweet tightener of my afflidions ; 
yet the griefs of heart which I had Aif- 
fered, were not without their effeft } at 
length they fell on my conftitution, and 
affeciied my nerves or fpirits. I think our 
dodors pretty much confound the one 
with the other. Accordingly, I was ad* 
vifed to travel for change of air and ex- 
crdfe ; and I was preparing for my jour- 
ney, when there happened in my family 
the moft extraordinary inftance of an 
ever-watchful providence that occurs to 
iny memory. 

My litde old man John began to de- 
cline apace, and at length took to his 
bed ; and, having a tender friendihip for 
him, I went to fit befide him, and to 
comfort him the beft I could. John, faid 
ly are you afraid to die? No, Sir, not 
at all, not in the leaft. I long to be 
diflblved, and to be with our loving Lord. 
Indeed, John, iaid I, I am inclined ta 
think you have been a very good liver. 
A dog, Sir, a mere dog, defperately 

wicked^ 



^ The fool of QUALITY. 

wicked, the vileft of finners! I am 3 
murderer too, my mailer, there is blood 
upon my head. Blood ! faid I, and 
ftarted. Yes, Sir, replied John, but then 
the blood that was ihed for me is ilrong- 
er and more precious than the faiood that 
was ihed by me. Blood, hawever, John, 
is a very terrible thing; are you not 
airaid to appear before the judgment* 
feat of Clirift ? By no means, my dear 
mailer ! I . have long iince laid the bur« 
den of my iins before him ; for I had no^ 
thing elfe to bring to him, nothing elfe 
to offer him, and he has accepted then^ 
and me, and my confcience is at refi io 
him. Then, John, there may yet br 
room for hope. There is aiTurance, my 
mailer, for I have laid hold upon th^ 
Rock, and cannot be fhaken. 

But how do you intend to difpofe oi 
your worldly fubilance ? AH that I have. 
Sir, I got with you and my old mailer ^ 
and where I found it, even there' I reiblve 
to leave it. Indeed, John, I will not 
finger a penny of your money. How 
much may it amount to ? Eight hundred 
and thirty-feven pounds. Sir, or therea- 
bout. And have you no relations o£ 
your own ? Not one living that I kno\ir 
of« Then think of feme one elfe,, for 

no 



The fool of qUALITT. 91 

no part of it fhaU lie on my coniaeiice, 
I afTure you. 

I have read ibmewhere or other, Sir^ 
of a great king who was adyiied of God» 
in a dream^ to take the. very firft man 
whom he ihould meet the next mornings 
to be his partner in the government. 
Now, if it pleafes you, my matter, I 
will follow the like counfel, and whofo»- 
ever ihall be firft found before our door, 
let that perfon be the owner and inherit 
tor of my fubftance ! It fliall be even as 
you fay! I will go and fee whom God 
Ihall be pleafed to fend to us. 

Accordingly I went and opened our 
door, when a woman, who had nearly 
paffed, turned about at the noife, and 
perceiving me, came up and faid, A lit- 
tle charity. Sir, for the lake of him who 
had not where to lay his head ! 

I was ftrongly affected by the manner 
in which ihe addreiTed me, aud eying 
her attentively, I obferved that flie was 
clean though meanly apparelled ^ where- 
fore, to make a furuier trial whether our 
adventure was likely to prove profperou^ 
or not, I flipt a guinea into her hand, 
and defired her to go about her buiinefs» 
Accordingly, ihe courtefied,. and went 
from me a few fteps ; when looking into 
her hand^ ihe turned fuddenly back ; Sir^ 

Sir, 



92 The FOOL of QUALITY, 

Sir, fays ihe, here had like to have been 
a fad miftake ! You meant to give me a 
(hilling, and you have given me a whole 
guinea! It was, faid I, a very great 
miftake indeed ; but be pleafed to come 
in, and we will try to rditify our errors. 

Here, I took her into the chamber 
where John lay, and, having confirained 
her to fit down, I put my hand in my 
pocket. Here, good woman ! faid I, here 
are ten guineas for you, to make you fome 
amends for the miftake I was guilty of in 
giving you but one. The poor creature 
could fcarcely credit her fenfes, but raifing 
her eyes in ecftafy, and dropping from the 
ichair upon her knees, fhe was proceed- 
ing to blefs me ; but I peremptorily infift- 
ed on her retaking her feat. Miftrefs^ laid 
1, be pWfed to ftay your prayers for the 
prefent ; what I want from you is the ftory 
of your life; tell me who and what you arc, 
without fuppreffinfi^ any circumftances, or 
concealing the faults of which you have 
been guilty, and 1 will make you the mi- 
firels of twenty guineas, that mall be add- 
ed to what you have already received. 

Sir, feid me, you frighten me ! My fto- 
rj' is a very unhappy and a very foofa'fii 
ftory, and cannot be of the <;nalleft con- 
fequencc to you. Sure yon are too much 
ot the gentleman to (.Uiiic to enfnare me ; 

and. 



The FOOL of qUALITY. 93 

and, indeed, I kl^ow not of any thing 
whereby I may be enfnared. Wherefore, . 
bountiful Sir ! unto you, as unto Heaven, 
I will open my whole foul, without feek* 
ing to know why you look into the con- 
cerns of Xttch a worm as I am. 

I was the daughter of a farmer in 
EiTex, my maiden-name was Elenor Da« 
iper. I was married, early in life, to a^ 
man who kept a chandler's fhop in a little 
lane that led to Tower-Hill, his name 
was Barnaby Tirrell. Barnaby TirrcU ! 
exclaimed John. Arc you very fure that 
his name was Barnaby Tirrell ? Peace, 
Joha, I cried, whatever you may know of 
this man, or of any otlier matter, I com- 
mand you not to interrupt the woman till 
fhe has finifhed her ftory. — She then con- 
tinued. 

I had neither brother nor lifter. Sir! 
but one brother, a twin-brother, and we 
loved one another, as though there was 
no body elfe in the world to be loved. 

About three years before my marriage, 
my brother Tommy, then a fweet pretty 
lad, took to a feafaring life, and went 
f;rom me, I knew not where, upon a 
voyage that I was told was a very great 
way off ; and fo I cried, day and night, as 
many tears after him as would have jferyed 
mc to fwim in. 



94 The FOOL of qUALlTY. 

My hufband was very fond of me, and 
when he iifed to fee me cry, while I fpoke 
of my Tommy, he would kifs me, and 
try to comfort me, and fay, that he wilh- 
ed for nothing more than his return to 
Old England, that he might welcome 
him, and love him as much as I'did. 

One night, on the ninth month of my 
marriage, as I fat moping and alone, my 
hufband being abroad upon fome bufinefi, 
I heard a knocking at the door, which 
was opened by our little fervant-girl. 
And then, before you could fay this, in 
leaped my brother, and catched me faft 
in his dear arms. 

I gave a great fhout for joy, you may 
be fure: and pulhing my Tommy from 
me, and pulling him to me again and 
again, we embraced, and cried, and 
kifled ; and embraced and kifled again, 
as though we never could be tired. 

In the mean while, the door being open, 
my cruel Barnaby entered, unperceived 
by either of us ; and feeing a flrange 
man fo fond and familiar with me, he 
opened a long hafped knife which he had 
in his pocket, and, rufhing up, he gave 
roy darling brother three ifcibs in the 
l^ody, before he could fpeak a word, or 
turn about to defend himfclf. Then, 
cafting down the knife, in a minute he 

was 



The fool of qUALlTY. 95 

was out of the honfe, and I never fiiw 
him more. 

For a time I ftood like a ftone, and 
&en giving a great ihriek, I fainted, and 
ftll on my brother as he lay weltering in 
his blood. 

Our little Mary, in the v^ile, being 
(ns^hted almoft to death, ran about like a 
^d thing, and alarmed the ftreet. Onr 
neighbours crouded in, and fent for the 
next furgeon. My brother's wounds were 
fnrobed and drefled, and he was laid in 
our bed. 

Mean time, being forward with child, 
I fell into ftrong and untimely labour, 
and, after very grievous travail, was de- 
livered of a boy, who was chriftened and 
called James, after my dear and lately-dc* 
ceafed father. 

No pains of my own, however, kept 
me from inquiring after that dear and 
lamented brother, who had been killed, 
as I fuppofe, for his love to me. But his 
youth and natural ftrength carried him 
through all dangers. In three months 
he. was up and about as well as ever. 
And, in lefs than three more, he fet out 
on another voyage, from whence he ne- 
ver, never, O never xeturned. 

Before 



96 The JOOL or QUALITY. 

Before he went abroad, my dear fweet 
ftUow had left me a power to receive his 
wages. But, in five years after, I heard 
that he was caft away, or killed by the 
Barbary people } and, though I went and 
went again, in the middle of my wants, 
ajod in the middle of my ibrrows, to alk 
and to petition for his pay, I never could 

fret an anfwer of any profit or any com- 
ort. 

. My little Jemmy, however, grew and 
prated apace, and was my only prop un- 
der all my afflictions. My hufband, in- 
deed, had left me in pretty circumftanccs ; 
and had he but ftaid with me, we fhould 
have profpered above our fellows. But 
what can a woman do, Angle, weak, and 
ynprotefbed ? I was impofed upon by 
fome ; by others I was refufed payment 
for the goods that I had given ; and at 
length I was reduced to poverty, and 
obliged to ihut up Ihop. 

Mean time I had fpared no coft on the 
bringing up of my Jemmy. I had given 
him fchool-leaming, and he now was 
grown a very towardly and clever boy. 
And, having taken to meflages, iny fwcet 
fellow every night ufed to bnus; to me 
whatever he had earned in the day- 
time. 

^. In 



THfi TOOL OF qpALlTY. 97 

the lofs of my hufband and brother ; 
in the lofs of my Barnaby, aad in the 
ids of my Tommy^ to be fure I had 
grief upon grief ; fo that my health went 
nom me, and next my ftrength^ and I 
was not able to work, and go ont a- 
iwaihing as before. But this did not 
Jignify much, while my child had his 
liealth; for he had now got a porter^s 
place in the Cuflomhoufe, and, young 
.as he was, he willingly carried heavy 
Imrdens, to have the pleafure of bring- 
ing home his hard earnings to his mo- 
ther. But about fix weeks ago, may it . 
]deafe your Honour, my dear boy fell iU 
of a quartan ague, as they call it, under 
wliich he and his motber^s h^ut flili 
-continue to labour. 

As foon as ihe had ended her fhort 
narrative. Well, John, £ud I, methinks 
this bufinefs will do ; in my opinion, you 
have got a very worthy inheritor of your 
fortune j what (ay you to it, John ? Firft, 
Sir ! let me afk her a queftion or two, 
if you pleafe. Honeft woman ! draw 
your chair a little nearer to m€, I pray 
you« And now tell me the truth ; did 
you ever love your hufband ? Yes, dear- 
ly, indeed, very dearly did I love him ; 
lor he had loved me very dearly, till that 
miferable night. But when, as I thought. 

Vol. m. E V^ 



9» The fool of qUALITY. 

he had killed my brother, I hated him as, 
much as ever I had loved him before. 
But then again, when my Tommy had 
recovered of his wounds, I fent far and 
near to inquire after him and find him. 
out ; and when I could learn no tidings of 
him, I put it into all the printed papers, 
that Thomas Damer was well recovered, 
and that Barnabas Tirrdl, who had wound- 
ed him, might return without danger to 
his wife and infant. 

And he is returned! Cbouted John: 
he is returned, my Nelly ! Your barba« 
rous and bloody hufband, who ilabbed 
your brother, and left you and your in- 
fant to famifli, he is returned to you, my. 
Nelly! and, in his death, he fhall make 
you amends for all the fnfferings which 
ne brought upon you, during his life- 
time. But, my mafter ! my deareft ma- 
tter ! fend immediately for my child, my 
Jemmy, I befeech you, that, bad as I 
am myfelf, I may give him a fjather's 
bleffing before I die. 

I was furprifed and afield. Madam, 
beyond expreffion, by incidents that were 
at once fo wonderful and fo tender ; and 
I diredly fent fervants and a fedan chair 
for James, with orders to have him care- 
fully and warmly wrapt up ; for what his 
mother told nie of him, had already 

given 



The fool of QUALITY. 99 

given mc a very ftrong prejudice in his 
favour. 

Mean while the poor woman had funk 
tm her knees by her hufband^s bediide^ . 
and was plentifully pouring forth her tears . 
upon him ; partly for joy of having found 
him, and partly for grief of having found 
him in that condition. 

O, my NeUy ! my Nelly ! cried Bar- 
nabas, had I known who the perfon was 
whofe bk>od I drew that terrible night, I 
would fooner have thruft my knife into 
my own heart, than into any part of the 
body of that dear brother of yours. But 
I was old and ugly, you know ; and you 
were young and handfome ; and jealoufy 
is a mad devil that rages in the bread like 
hell-fire ; it never knew how to fpare, but 
tears and confumes everything that comes 
-Vidthin its r^ach. 

At length James was brought to us ; 
and as we were in his father's apartment^ 
a chamber no way adorned, James enter- : 
ed without any refpeft to perfons. He 
was a tall and comely youth, but very . 
pale and lean, and, as it was one of h^ 
well days, he waUced in without help. . 
He had barely been told that his mother 
fent for him in a hurry, fo that he enter- 
ed with a vifible alarm in his counte* 
nance. 



^ * 



.ICC The FOOL of qXJALlTT. 

What is the matter, my dear mother ? 
fays he ; alas, I am little able to help you 
at prefent. I hope nothing has happen- 
ed that is fuddenly difirefstul. Nothing 
amifs, my child! more than that your 
dear father, for whom I have fought and 
been fighing this many a year, lies 
dangeroufly ill in this very bed, my 
Jemmy ! Am I then fo blefled, cried 
the boy, as to fee and embrace a father? 
O, my child! exclaimed the old man^ 
and eagerly ftretched his arms toward 
him, come to my bofom, thou only off* 
fpring of my life ! I may now fay, with 
bleffed Jacob, Let me die, let me dicp 
fince I have feen thy face, and thou art 
alive, my fon ! 

I would at any time give a thou£ind 
pounds, my couiin ! for a tenth of the 
enjoyment that I then had, in the feelings 
which God poured into the hearts of this 
little family, on their fo very unexpefted 
and marvellous a meeting. It appeared 
to me, however, that young James even 
exceeded his parents in love ; and this 
gave me fuch a cordial attachment to him, 
that from that hour to this we have ne- 
ver been fundered. He never failed nor 
forfook me; and, at this very day, he is 
my refpefted friend, and the fuperinten- 
dant of my family. 

John, 



The FaaL aF qjIALIT?"?. loi 

John, otherwife Barnabas, continued.tcr 
finger, for about a fortnight longer, and 
then departed qjaite happy, and without 
a groan. During, the iame fpace alfo,. 
Jamei was daily attended by my own phy- 
fician, and waa nearly re-eft-abliihed in his^ 
healths 

Being then intent on my departure, I 
fcnt for the widow. Mrs. Tirrell, faid I^ 
lihouldbe much inclined to take your 
J^mes ' along with me, if I did not think 
you would grieve overmuch in his ab- 
lence.- No, noj Sk! faid Ihe, I would 
to heaven I were myfelf a young man for 
your fake, i dcfire no better either of 
him or for him, than that he ihould live' 
and die faithfully and lovingl]^ in your 
iervice; 

The next day I went down the Thames^ 
irf a barge, partly for recreation, and^^ 
partly to fpeak to the captain of the' 
veflel in which 1 propofed to- embark.' 
As I drew near to the Guftomhoufe- 
wharf, I obferved a ^wherry, croud ed' 
with men whom ihe was about to land^'^ 
at the ftairs; and, on- inquiry, fwas in-^ 
formed that they were flaves,- whom our 
conful at Algiers, by his interceflion or' 
bounty, had ranfomed and ient home. 

Immediately compaffion rbfe powerful- 
ly in. my bofom* Alas ! faid I to my- 

• E a. felf,. 



192 The fool m qUALlTY. 

fetf, I fee that I am not without com* 
p;tnions in affliction. I, indeed, have 
now neither wife nor children, nor Es- 
ther nor noother, nor brother, as I. mw 
lay, nor lifter, nor any connexion with 
-the world in which 1 tive. I am fhot 
out, as it were, from every enjoyment 
upon earth. Let me not however be en- 
vknis, kt me rather wi(h, and give, and 
difpenfe enjoyment to others; fince to 
give joy to others, is all the joy, in this 
wf^rld, that is left to myfelf. 

Here I ordered my people to land, and 
coming up to the late captives. My 
fiirnds! iaid I, you are welcome once 
ni(>rc w O'd England! I am iondof kea^ 
ii)g adventures ; you alfo may have got 
your appetites ; and if you will favour 
me with your company, I will order 
a dinner for us at yonder tavern. 

1 Deed not tell you. Madam, that the 
parties were foon agreed. "While a plen* 
tiful dinner was providing, I met Alder- 
man Bicker, a city-magifirate, and an old 
acquaintance of mine. Sir Thomas ! 
faid I, I infift on your dining with me 
to-day, at the Phcenix there. Perhaps 
your companions will not appear to you 
of the moft honourable fort. They are, 
however, good gofpciguefts, Sir Tho- 
si tonfift of the halt^ the lame, 

the 



The fool of QUALITY. 103 

tbe maimed, and the l^eggat*. In Ihort, 
I have invited all yonder ragged regiment ^ 
being about five and thirty flaves from^ 
B'arbary, to dinner i and, aiter I have filled 
their bellies^ I intend to give them a hun- 
dred pounds per man, to help them to be« 
jgin the world again, and to keep them from 
-being an encumbrance on their country. 
Five and thirty hundred pounds] ;ex« 
claimed Sir Thomas Bicker, five and 
thirty hundred times twenty fhillings of 
£ngliih Sterling money! Ife is well for 
you, Harry Qintonl that old Golding 
was born before you ; but nothing can 
bold you long at this rate. To whom 
•gain do you propofe to give this yn- 
meafurable boanty i to the excrements of 
the public, to nuifances and offences 
lagainft fociety, to wretches whom Eng- 
land has fpewed forth from a fick and 
<lebauched ftomach. But I fuppofe you 
. expect to purchafe extraordinary glories 
in heaven, as the reward of thefe very ex- 
traordinary charities on earth. No, in- 
deed. Sir Thomas! iaid I, I (hall never 
' crave nor look for any thing, at the hands 
of the Son of David, fave only mercy 
from him, and juftification in him. 
However, my good friend, if you will in- 
dulge me with your company, you your- 
felf fluU be judge of tlie meiit of the 

£ ^ parties. 



104 The FOOL of C^ALITT,. 

parties, and I will wholly be guided bf 
yoHr advice.^ Then^ £iys he, do you 
Kinnter here a few minutes f while,, id 
order to open the hearts of your guefis,, 
I go and give them a priming before 
dinner. 

As foon a$. Sir Thomas had execmted^ 
his purpofe, he came forth, and beck- 
oning me to him^ put his mouth to my 
ear. Do not be offended, fays he, at 
fome free expreffions that I may happea 
to let loofe,. in order to encourage theic: 
fellows to the like liberty, and ihew* 
you what metal, your companions are 
made o£^ 

Dinner was now ferved up on a range 
of joined tables, and Sir Thomas,, witb 
an eafy and chearful familiarity, deiired 
that they would feat themfelves without 
ceremony. This many of them did witk 
a freedom not fsu* from impudence, while 
others drew back abafliedy and begged 
permiffion to fiand« 

At the head of the ficft fort was^ featecfi 
a fellow, whofe firft fi^ht gave my nerves, 
a thrill ef hoCTor* His countenance was- 
of that cafi, in. which any one would place: 
an -implicit confidence, who wanted ait 
afibciate for any dark, traiterous,. oc 
Woody purpofe,. 

Wheiu 



^ The ?00L Of QtJALItY- lef 

When the cloth was removed, my friend^ 
puihed the bottles about very jovially,^ 
and began to talk as an utter latitudina- 
rian in morals, whereby he gained the- 
6onfidence of every> rogue in company. 

As foon^ as moft of them- were well^ 
warmed V for fpme drank* but fparingly,. 
Sir Thomas took out his purfe^and, toffing: 
a-guinea to each of them^ Now, my brave ' 
friends, fays he, if you defire any more,^ 
favours,. you muft tell me openly and ho- 
neftly* the jolly ufc you intend to make of 
your money to-night, Why,'Mafter, an-* 
Mrered the ill-looking villain, as for me 
and- my fix companions here, we have 
had- a long lent, and a wench is the 
^ord! That's gallantly fpoken, cried out 
Sir Thomas, here are three guineas more 
apiece for you feven.* And now, my 
Inave friends, I ihall Bot be backward of 
another bountv, if you will give me a ^ 
ihort hiftory of your' adventures.- 

That is foon done> my Mailer, anfwer* 
ed the fpokelman. We feven were taken ' 
^rifoners by an ALgerine coHair, after an 
oagag^ment in which feven and twenty 
more of us lay in blood upon deck. - We - 
were fold to one l^edro Paolo, a renegade, s 
who^ having been of all religions in Chri- 
fteudom, . had at lei^th turned Turl^. We 

*S* were- 



io6 The FOOL of qUALITT. 

•were ufed very fcvcrely, and, after fveat- 
ipg all day, "were made to fweat blood at 
night with the ftripes which they garc 
lis. Howe^ cr, »'e were hardy dogs, and 
didrot matter this veiy much ; wheo one 
4>f their prkfts came privately to us, and 
promifed,that, if wc would forfake Chrift, 
and turn to ^ahonret, he would enfure 
lis liberty and riches here, and paradife 
hereafter, Thefe, Sir, as you well know, 
M^cre very tempting things. But, as foon 
as our mafter undcrflood that we had 
complied with the terms ; he hurried us, 
by night, into one of bis galleys, where 
we were chained to the oar, our ears 
were lopped, as you fee, and, at every 
meal of bread and water, we received tea 
lafhes. At length his Honour the ambaf- 
fador, I forget how they call him, found 
us out and pedeemed us, and lb yon fee 
us here» 

Pray, my friend, faid Sir Thomas, are 
tiiere any more in this company whom 
you could recommend to me, ae being of 
the fame gallantry of fpirit with your* 
felf ? Yes, faid he, there are the two 
John9> and tihe two Andrews yonder, wha 
are none of the Sunt Johns or Saint An<^ 
drews, I promife you. But yonder fitt^ 
0ur Saint Thomas, a cantuig fon of a bitch ;. 
Ia wanted^ truly>to preach to us^ during. 

our 



/ 



Tif£ FOOL c^F QUALITY, ioj 

our voyage ; and, in the laft ftorm, he 
would have perfuaded us, forfooth, to 
join with him in prayer* Here then, cried 
Sir Thomas, you two no Saint Johns, and 
you two DO Saint Andrews, here are three 
pieces a- man for you alfo ; and that mo- 
ney, I hope. Gentlemen, will be fufficient 
to maintain you in gaol, till we can hear a 
better account of you. Ho, drawer! are 
the people I fent for in waiting? They 
are, pleafe your Honour. Defire them ta 
fiep in. 

Here entered a conftable with a great 

pofle of his people. Conflable, faid Sir 

' Thon>as, take thefe feven and thefe four 

into your cuftody, and keep them in 

dofe durance till you hear further from 

• mc ; I would rather open the towet-cages^ 
- aiid let all the wUd beafts abroad through 
c th& ftreetsr, than loofe fucb Fcprobates as 

diefe among mankinds ^ 

At thb inftant, as a cofiftabfe was lay- 

i^ bold on our gs^nt fpokefinan, he 

foddenly drew an inftrument that was 

.^kOf^Bifc and half-dagger, and leaping 

KkDiB.me^ ht cailgbt Su* Thomas by the 

• ilhrolifv -3^ tailing his atm, would haye 
■ ' ^ m ^ed the fteel into his bofom ^ but, at 

ihc uoae moment^ I feized his hand, and 
-ibroi^mg up his heds, I caft hun on his 

£# tack. 



K)8 The FOOL of QtJAtnT. 

back, aod wrenchedi tlie weapon from 
Jbini. 

As (boDr as we were thu9 rid of eleven 
of our guefts, a young man. came earned' 
ly up to us: Gentlemen, fays he, tilt 
thofe feven hell-hounds were fecured, I 
did not dare to open my mouth. I know 
them all right well, and, had. they known^ 
me, there is cot one of them but would> 
have thruft his knife into my heart:. 

About- eleven years ago, I was taken as^ 
cabiii-boy, when, they, with many more^ 
were t^en as^ failors on board the good^ 
fliip St.. Catharine, Mr.. William Thomfon- 
mailer, bound for the Weft^ Indies. ■ As^ 
foon as we came along-fide the €ata»^ 
ries, this big' villain, Patrick Mc. Doud,, 
prevailed on- moft of the crew to enter in* 
to a conf^racy, whereupon' tbey. barfaa-^ 
roufly and ^rdngly murdered the mafier^ 
the officers^ and 2mL who -were notof thar 
own gtng^ except myfelf; being^en aboat 
ten years- of age. But diey £d not pre- 
fper long ; for the very next momiag:, we: 
were held in. cfaace, anddientbeyiWiihed- 
fbr the^help of* diofe. hands- whom^/t^ey. 
had cat off.. So, as Mo. Dondr^toldydn^. 
aftera veiy Uoody battle^ we were board-* • 
cd and takeof and thofe feven: confede- 
rates W!ere;ibld:to one maflcr;.and,: wdli 
as it happened fortme^ I waf fidd to ano-- 

tbery 



TtfE FOOL OF qXTALrXT. w<j> 

Ifier; and alt this ancP more, lamready to 
wttnefs in any court, provided I am kept 
ftfe from- t^e clutches of thofe devils. 

Ay, exclaimed- Sir Thomaa, tbefe are 
your charities^ Mr.- Clinton }. and< fuch the 
abjeds of whom>your judgment has made^ 
elioice. Ah, my friend^ E replied^ that 
cliarity muft be very tardy, which waits^ 
to be aflured: of the merit of its objed:.. 
Ghrift himfelf cured' ten Iq)ers^ while he 
knew that nine of them were unworthy 
of his gracioufnefs. 

Chi the entrance of die confiables^ I 
kad cafi: my ^e round the room, and 
remarked, that moft ef our* meis-mates- 
ibemed much alarmed^ and turned pale on: 
Ae caption of their late comrades, which 
Kodered their charaders^ alio Ibmewhat 
fiifpofted to me. Wherefore, left I ihould 
taft my feed oa a wholly-barren foil, I 
mflied to get fome further intelligence 
Bonceming them. Where,, iaid I, is the 
j^erfon^ whom they call St* Thomas i I- 
defire a few words with him. 

Hicre a- man. approached, refpedfuUy, 
&oai the farther end. ef the table,^. to 
whicht through modefty, he had retreated! 
Rfith hia few companions. < Mr. Thomas, 
[kid I, looking eamefUy at him^thaveL 
BoC feen your nice before ? No^ pleafe your 

Honour,. I think that muft be impoifibte. 

It 



no The FOOL of qUALITY. 

I 

It is now upon eighteen years fince I fet a 
foot in this kingdom, and your Honour 
muft then have been but a child. Do 
you know any thing, Mr. Thomas, of 
tbcfe people or their affairs ? Nothing of 
their affairs, Sir, and little Tnore of their 
perfons, than that they are all men of 
very profane lips ; except the lad who 
fpoke to you laff , and my five mefs-mate* 
yonder, the only people who, during our 
long and dangerous voyage, would return; 
thanks to God for any of his mercies, or 
pray hixn to avert his juft judgn^nts from^ 
them. 

Then, faid I, we will proceed betweea 
extremes. On the one fide we will not 
miniftcr fewel to the hills of thefe un- 
happy creatures: neither will we leave 
them to perifh ; or tempt them, through 
want, to robbery, on the other fide. 
Here, landlady, take this bilL Give 
twenty pounds to each of thefe feventeen 
. fellows, and, if aoy of them, within a 
month, fhall bring you a certificate of his 
good behaviour, give him twenty pounds 
jnore. Now, Sir Thomas, I soay hope, 
that I do not e^iceed your good pleaiure.. 
Not much, Harry, not mvdtl la time 
you may be traftabk. 

Here the poor wretches looked aaaa^ 
cd) and icarcc credidag the reality of the 

bounty 



The fool of qUALITY. lii 

bounty that was ordered for them, they 
cried, Thank your Honours, thank your 
Honours ! and withdrew. One of them^ 
however, feemed to linger after the rcll,. 
and, going ciut laft, he returned agaia 
quickly, and threw himfeif at my feet. 
1 am a reprobate. Sir, a mere reprobate^ 
he cried, and am not worthy of your cha- 
rity. Does: your confcience condemn you 
then ? faid L It does. Sir, it does.. Thei* 
I condemn you not ; rife, rife, and give 
me your hand, my brother! 

Mr. Clinton, faid Sir Thomas, now^ 
that I have kept you from cafting fo 
suich money on the quickfands, you can 
afford to be the morp generous to thefe 
worthy fellows- You will allow me then,. 
£ud I, to order our landlady to pay them^ 
. a hundred pounds apiece. With all my 
keart, fays he ^ and if you will be fo ho- 
Beft as tareimburfe me the fixty or feventy 
pieces, which 1 threw away, for your ufe, 
vpon the other viUalhs, I will add feme- 
thiDg to Ihat aUb) and divide it among 
tiiemr 

Tben^ Kr Thoma«^, if you wi& indulge 
Bc with your company for an hour or 
two longer, kt us ftnd for a falefman ta 
put oar friends, here in decent apparel ; 
while we liften to what they Ihall be plea- 
i«d to tdl ua of thdur fortunesr Agreed^ 



ffi The fool of qpA^trjr. 

Harry, agreed. So let us rdam« oiir 
feats, and hav« the other bottle. 

Mafter Thomas, faid I, pray what may' 
be your firname? Darner, Sir. Darner,- 
Darner! have you any relations in this 
kingdom? Alas, Sir, 1 fear not ; my fa- 
ther, James Damer of Effex, died a^ little 
before I fet out on my laft voyage 
And had you no relation beiide? O, Sir, 
that is it which brought the tear fo fud« 
dcnly into my eyes 1 I had a iifter, aa- 
only fifter, a fifter that ,1 loved dearer 
than health or fafety. But — I fear — I 
i5ear — Here his fpeech was flopped by Ws 
emotion ; while I was ready to leap up^ 
and catch him in my arms ; but I fuppreff- 
ed my inclinations, for the prefent, that I 
might heighten the furprife and pleafure 
which I forefaw there would be at the^ 
meeting of the twins*- 

While things were providing for the- 
cloathing and accommodation of our 
guefls; they, fucceflively^ gave us an ab« 
ftraft of their refpedive lives and hifio«- 
xies, wherein were many incidents ex*- 
tremdy interefting and entertasniDg. Let - 
us have them, let us have them, by all- 
means ! cried Lady Maitland. - My dear ' 
Madam, iaid Mr. Qinton, were Lto relate 
to you the feveral affecting ftories that 
fCCttiTcd to me^ tbroug^hou^ my travels, » 



TiTE FQOL ^F qtTALITT. rij: 

from prifons, fronL the dq)tlt of dun- 
geons^ from captives, and from perfons re- 
deemed from captivity y from ucretches 
wrecked at fea^ or wrecked by fortune f 
fipom thofe who furvived the calamities oh 
warfare and famine, I fhould never make 
an end- 
But then^ faid the Countefs, the poor 
creature who felt fo fudden and affeding: 
a compun^ion ;, I have a friendihip for 
Azt fellow, and I am deeply interefted 
in all the concerns of my friend, I muii 
tell you. Well, Madam, youlhall have 
Ins ftory then, as nearly as lean recollect 
at this diAance of time. 

CHAP. XVt 
The History of a REPROBiiTE. 

I KNOW ndt^ Gentlemen faid he, wha- 
my parents were. I was found, when^ 
an innmt, wrapped in ra^ on a cobler's 
bulky in WefUninfler. The parifh-offi- 
cers fent me to the.poor-houfe ; and, when 
I was capable of inftruAion, they fent me 
to die chari^-fchooL 

When I had learned to read and write,. 
Iwa&bound, for a.fervant,^^to Mr. Skinner,, 

a. neigh- 



114 The FOOL m qiJALITT. * 

a neighbouring attorney. My mtftrA 
grew fond of me ; ihe was a very helj 
woman ; ihe taught me my prayers and | 
catechifm, and made me read to her 
every night, and repeat chapters and 
pfalmg, till I had nearly got halt the fiifak 
by rote. 

As my mailer ufed to fend me on many 
errands and mefiages, and to entruft mt 
with little matters of money on fuch oc- 
caiions, on finding me always punctuil 
and honeft to him, he began to love me 
aliuoft as much as my good miftrels did. 

But now came on my firil falling away 
from all goodneis. I was about twdvc 
ye^rs old, when, in a curfed hour, my 
mailer font me to a diflant part of the 
town, with a bill to pay fome money, 
and bring to him back the' chai »;e. The 
change amounted to about four pounds 
in glittering iilver. It appeared a miot 
of money. I never had been in poiTeilion 
of fo large a heap ; and I iighed, and iaid 
to myfelf, How blefled muft they be vdio 
are become the rich owners of fo much 
money ! Then fome one feemed to whi- 
fper me, that I was the owner ; and again 
ibme one feemed to whifper me, that I 
was not the owner. Then I would go 
forward toward my mafter ; and again I 
would ilop and go aUde. Then 1 wc^uld 

thiuii 



Thb FOdrL OF QUALITY. 115 

dimft my hand into my pocket, and feci 
the greatnefs of my tres^ure, then tnm 
to the wall, and lay the brightnefs ofl^it 
beibre my eyes. Then I would run a 
piece off, as hurried away by the force 
c^the temptation ; and again I would 
delay, and ftop, and turn, and ftriyc to 
fcnpce myfelf homeward. Till, what with 
doubting and delaying, and firuggling 
off and on, and going backward and for- 
ward, I confidereid, that if I went home, 
1 1hould now get nothing but blame and 
beating ; and fo I took a head, and ran 
into the country as fafi as my feet could 
carry me. 

As I ran myfelf out of breath, from 
time to time, I would look back and 
look back, and run on and run on, in the 
thought that my mafter, or fome one 
from him, was at my heels. 'But often 
&ice, I have refledled and was perfuaded 
m my mind, that my kind mafter and 
mifirefs had not the leaft fufpicion of me, 
but rather inquired and fbrrowed after 
me, ' as being murdered or kidnapped 
from them ; and this alfo was, at times, a 
great grief of heart to me. 

When I was quite tired and jaded, and 
night came on, I turned up to a ferry 
kind of an inn, or rather alehoufe, which 
I happened to be near. But, as I feared 



jr^ The FOOL 0f C^ALITYr 

every thing, I had. the cunning to conceal 
my treafure, ^nd taking a penny from 
my pockety I begged the wonian of the 
houfe, for that and charity's fake, ti^ 
ffive me a little bread and mHk, and 
K>me hole to lie in« 

Having finifhed my fupper, I was fhewa 
to a kind of hovel under the ftain^ 
where, throwing myfdf on fome firaWi- 
with a piece of a blanket over me, I 
fell faft as a rock. Awakening, how- 
ever, about midnight, or fomewhat after, 
and feeing all dark about me, and n^ 
creature near hand ; I began to tremble- 
greatly ; and then I wiflicd to fay my 
prayers, but 1 did not dare to pray ; and- 
£o I lay fweating and trembling, and trem*^ 
bling and fweating, tilt the dawning ef 
the day brought fome relief to my fpiritSr 

Having l»reakfafted at the coft of a^ 
fecond penny, I fet out, though not with 
my former fpeed ; for, reflemng that % 
had not my livery on, but a fmaS frock- 
coat, I was under the lefs fear of beioff 
known. However, I puflied on as wcfi 
as I was able,, wanting fiill to get as hi 
from danger as poilible. And indeed I 
hoped, by going on ftill further and fur- 
ther, to get away from my own fears aad 
&om.iny own confcience. 

O Gen' 



The fool of qiJALlTT. 117 

Gentlemen ! what mifery did I not 
endure, at that feafon ? The truil I had 
in mv treafure began now to abate, the 
dread of lofing it alfo brought new trou- 
bles upon me ; peace was banifhed from 
mthin me ; and without there was no 
place whereto I might fly for reft. 

On the fifth morning of my travels, 
having expended what halfpence and 
fipall filver I had ; I took out half a 
cr(ywn, and offered it to the man of the 
houfe, defiring him to return what was 
•ver the reckoning. As he took it, he 
nve me a look that I- thought went 
Pirough me, and continuing to ftare me 
ip the face, he ihamed me fo, that I was 
conftrained to turn aiide. He gave me 
the change, however, and I fet forward 
on my journey, all trembling and appre- 
hending I knew not what. 

1 had not gone above a mile, when, 
meeting a dirty road, I turned over a ftile 
tliat led to a path through the fields.. 
Here I walked on a little way, when, 
turning, I faw my landlord maldng long 
firides after me ; whereupon my heart 
beat, and my knees grew fo weak under 
me that I ftood as ftill as a ftone. 

He came quickly up with me, and, 
feizing me by the neck, he caft me on 
my back. Ha I you young rogue, feys 

he. 



ii« The fool of QUALITY. 

he, let us fee what money you have got 
Then, diving into my pockets, he pulled 
out the whole flock in which I trufied 
for happinefs. O, you little dog of z 
villain, from w*hom have you flolen all' 
this treafure ? But I mufl go and reton 
it to the right owner. O, good Sir, good- 
Sir, I roared out, will you not leave mca- 
little ? every fb little, dear Sir, to keep 
me from flarving ? But he was deaf to 
my cries and prayers, and away he went. 

Hope, the lafl comfort of the miiera- 
ble, now forfook me. I curfed, at my 
heart, the day in which I was bom ; and 
I lay a long time, as one who had no ufe 
for limbs, nor any further way to travd 
upon earth. At length I broke out into 
ihouts and a great gufh of tears, and 
having got fome eafe by venting my for- 
rows, I rofe, by a kind of infiindl, and 
went on I knew not whither. 

Growing hungry after noon, I would 
willingly have begged the charity of paf- 
fengers ; but this I did not dare to do, for 
fear they fhould afk me whence I came, 
and who I was, and whereto I was going; 
queftions to which I could give no very 
honeft anfwer. So I bore my hunger 
as well as I could, till coming at night 
to a hovd where a fanner kept his pigs, 

I made 



The fool of QUALITY. 119 

I made way for myfelf among them, and 
llqpt in the firaw till morning. 

The day following, as I pafled flowly 
a&d half f amifhed through a fmall village, 
my. eye catched at a penny-loaf chat lay 
oiialittlit Chop* window which jutted into 
the flreet. I looked here and there, and 
peered into the ihop, and was jufi going 
to ieize the ready and tempting ^oil ; 
^riien fomething whifpered at my hearty 
Do pot touch it for your life, ftarve, ilarve, 
Tttfaer than oflFer to ileal any more ; and 
b I tore myfelf away, and running as 
ftft as I could, for fear of turning back, 
I at lail got clear off from the reach of 
this temptation. 

When I had travelled fomething far- 
tl)^, I got into an inclofed country, where 
there were hedges on every fide, with 
plenty of haws and bramble- berries on 
every bufh. And here I filled my belly 
vrith berries to ierve me for dinner ; and 
I fluffed my pockets with haws againft I 
fliould want. Upon this I grew wonder- 
ful g^ad that I had not taken the loaf ; 
and peace again began to con;e upon my 
mind ; and, about night-fall, having 
reached a copfe on one ude of the road, 
I crept, like a hare, under the fhelter of 
the buihes ; I then fupped upon my haws, 
after which I kneeled down, and half ven- 
tured 



ifo The fool ©f QUALITY. 

tured at a prayer to God ; and gatihc^ 
ing up in my form, I flept happily til 
morning* 

Having lived thus for fome days, I 
came into an open country, where there 
was (carce any path, nor any haw or 
berry within many a imle. i aow began 
ta grow fick and faint with hunger ; and 
agam my fickneis went off, and I be- 
came fo greedy and ravenous, that I was 
ready to eat my own flefh from the 
bones. Soon after, I fpied, at a difiance^ 
a conf ufed heap of fomethin^ at the root 
of a great tree that grew m the opn 
fields. I made up to it in expedhttioa 
of I knew not what ; and found an old 
beggar-man faft afleep in his patched 
cloak, with a bundle of fomewhat lying 
befide him. 

Inftantly I opened his little baggage^ 
when, to my inexpreflibk tranfport, a 
large luncheon of brown bread, with 
fome halfpence, ftruck my eyes. I did 
not hcfitate a moment about feizing the 
bread ; for I could no more withftand the 
cravings of my appetite at the time^ 
than I could withftand a torrent rufhing 
down a hill. Having appeafed my fto- 
mach, I began to demur about what I 
fhould do with the remainder of the 
bread, and felt a motion or two indi- 

niiur 

P ■ ■ ■ m^y 



The fool o^ qUALITY. 121 

liing me to leave it behind me. But, '^ no» 
faid I to myfelf ;« this is all the bread that 
I have, or may ever have duriag life, 
and I know not where to get a bit 
in the whole world; beiide, X do this 
man no harm in taking it away^ iince I 
leave him money enough wherewith to 
buy more,'* So I put the bread in my 
pocket, and went on my way<, leaving 
behind me about four or five pence in 
the wrapper. 

I had not gon€ far, however, before I 
£ud to myfelf ag:»in, ** This man is a beg- 
gar by trade, and gets halfpence from 
every paffcnger that goes the road. But 
alas, no one living has any pity upon 
me ; and fo to Itarve alive, or take the 
qx>ney, is all the queftion,'* So faying or 
fo thinking, I went back on tiptoes, and 
fiooping and fcizing my prey, I flew away 
like lightning. 

As loon as I had got out of the reach 
and fight of the poor man, the firft mo- 
tion I felt was th^ joy of having fuch a 
prize; but I had not gone far till this 

Jay was much abated, my fighs began to 
leave, and my tears to flow apace. 

That night, I took up my lodging 

in a wade hut that lay a little way off 

the road. But though, as I Jthought, I 

had plentv of bread, and money enough 

Vol. III. F ^\i^>^ 



122 T«E FOOL OF qUALITY. 

about me ; yet I found myfelf exceeding 
heavy, and I was not able to pray, as I 
did the foregoing nights. 

During all this time, I neither knew 
where I was, nor whereto I was goingi 
nor any thing more of my travels than 
that I came from London. When I had 
fpent to my laft penny, and.was walking, 
flow and melancholy, on a by-path that 
led through fome woody lawns, I hea«l 
the voice of merriment, and, quickly 
after, perceived a group of gipfies that 
came from behind fome trees. 

As I faw that I could not efcape them, 
I gathered courage, and went forward, 
when, coming up, they flopped and eyed 
me with much attention, and made a ring 
about me. Where are you going, ray 
child 1 fays a man with a broad girdle and 
a very formidable beard. Indeed, Sir, 
faid I, I cannot tell. And where did you 
come from then ? From London, Sir, fo 
pleafeyou. From London, child? why, 
that is a very great way off. And pray 
what made you leave London ? To get 
away from my mafter. But I hope yoii 
did not come away. empty, you brought 
fomething from him, did not you ? Some 
Kttle matter, good Sir, but I was robbed 
of it on the way. Hereupon, this ve- 
nerable regent jlhiiled, and, turning to his 

^^ dependents, 



The fool of QUALITY, 125 

idependents, As far as I fee, faid he, this 
cbap will anfwer our purpofe to a hair. 

Here one of the females aiked if I 
was hungry ; and, on my anfwer in the 
afitnnative, they all invited me with a 
jovial air to dinner. We then turned a 
diftance off from the path wherein we had 
met, and gradually defcendcd into one 
of the pleafanteft fpots in the world. It 
tBfas a d^U furrounded with hills, fome of 
which were flanting, fome headlong and 
impending, and all covered or fpotted 
with groups of trees, of different heights, 
forts, and colours ; through which there 
defcended a gurgling rivulet, which, ha- 
ving rolled over ftones and pebbles, grew 
fflent in a fmall lake, that refledled the 
circling objects from the hills around. 
- Immediately nature's carpet was co- 
vered with a large cloth of fine damaflvcd 
linen. The baggage was taken from the 
'fltoulders of the bearers ; and, before 1 
well could obfervc what they were about, 
{there was fpread, as by art magic, before 
my eyes, the moft various and fumptuous 
iKuaquet I had ever beheld. Down in- 
ftantly ftink the guefts ; fome fitting, 
Gke the Turks, crofs-legged ; while 
Others lolled, like the Romans, befide 
each other. 

F 1 As 



r24 The FOOL of qUALITY; 

As they had travelled far that day, the? 
all cat in filence ; and, in a (hort fpacc, 
the burden of the luggage-carriers was 
pretty much lightened. In the mean 
time, fome arofe, and unladed two a£fes 
of the creels which they carried. The 
cloth then was quickly emptied of the cold 
fowls and baked meats, with the loins of 
beef and mutton ; and leather jacks, that 
contained plenty of the befi wines and 
other liquors, were fet before us. Thefc^ 
again, were decanted into clean japanned 
pitchers ; and a japanned cup, of equal 
incafure, w^as given into every hand. 

Then began mirth and jollity to flow 
round with the cups ; never did I fee fo 
pleafant, fo gleeful a company. Joke and 
banter, without offence, were bandied 
from every fide; and buifts of laughter 
were echoed from the anfwering hills. 

As foon as I was warmed, and my heart 
opened by what I drank, they all expreflcd 
a liking and kindnefs for me, and re- 
quefted that I would tell them my fiorj^ 
without difguile. Accordingly I made 
an ingenuous confeflion of all the matters 
related. But, inftcad of meeting thofe 
reproofs which I expefted for my widc- 
cdncfs, they jointly began to ridicule my 
fcruiJtf, and |xt to Ibiime the little fbanie 
that I had of my evil deeds. 

My 



The fool of qUALITY. us 

My child, faid their ancient governor^ 
wheu you have been a fufficient time with 
us, you will then learn what it is to be 
wife and to be happy. You will then 
know that religion is nothing but hypo- 
crify or fafhton* There are thoufands 
and ten thoufands of religions upon 
earth, all contrary, and fighting the one 
agiinft the other. People pretend to 
fear God, when it is the fear of the laws 
alone that is before their •yes. God is 
not to be feared, but to be loved, my fon, 
.for he is a veiy gracious and a bountiful 
God. He gave the heavens, in common^ 
to the birds of the air. He gave the feas, 
»ad rivers aifo, in common to the fifties^ 
4knd he gave this whole earth in com* 
men to mankind. But great people sind 
people of power have feized it S^;tc> 
thcmfelves, and they have made to raem^ 
felves pofleffions and properties by fences 
and inclofures ; and they have again in-> 
iclofcd thofe inclofures, by laws of their 
own making, whereby the poor are to be 
ipuniflied, when they attempt to reclaim 
any part of the natural rights vnth^ which 
God had gifted them. But when the 
poor, without fear of the law9, can gain 
any thing from the rich and the mighty, 
who have robbed them of their rights, 
they may furely do it with a fafe and 

V 3 *a 



126 The FOOL of QUALITY. 

an honeft confcience. And now know, 
my child, that you are come among 
thofe who, of all people^ can beft defend 
you and make you happy» We are d . 
that fort of the poor who are above the 
rich and the mighty, by being above the 
laws ; for they can frame no laws which ' 
are of any more force to us than the web 
of a fpider. 

So fpoke this formidable fage ; and in* 

deed. Gentlemen, however ftrange it may. 

fccm^ 1 faw the latter part of his aiFertiott 

fully verified by practice. I continued 

among this very Angular and wonderfid 

people, near the fpace of three years} 

during which time they initiated me into 

all the arts and myfteries of their manifold 

iniquities,. No fetters could hold them \ 

no prifons could contain them ; no'bolti 

' ' or locks could fecure the treafure of the 

wealthy from them. By the means of 

ipells or certain odours, as it were by 

inchantment, all beafis became fubjed to 

them ; the wildeft horfe would ftand for 

them ; the fiercefl mafiiffs did not dare to 

bay or growl at them ; fo that all bleachf 

ing-grounds, yards, and gardens were 

as open to their invafion as the high* 

way. They aflumed all fliapes, and al- 

moll all fizcs. They became vifible and 

inviCble, known or unknown at pleafure ; 

for 



The fool ^f QUALITY. 12? 

for eveiy different drefs they had a differ- 
ent countenance and fet q£ features ; fo 
that their daily intimates could not know 
them, except by appointed words or 
tokens. And thus, without Tiolence or 
apparent fraud, without buille, indict* 
nent, or accufation on any fide, they 
over-ruled the government, and held, as 
it were, the purfes of the whole nation in 
their hands* 

You will wonder. Gentlemen, by what 
policy thele people could maintain their 
influence and depredations, undetecled^ 
throughout the kingdom. I will account 
for this matter as clearly and as briefly as 
1 can. 

. Though they never appear^ by day,. 
except fingle or in imall parties of ten or 
fifteen at moft, yet they kept their ilatei 
entire, by quick and conilant intelUgence<r 
Befide, their prince or principal potentate^ 
who was the perfon that firil accofled me, 
they, had a deputy-governor for every 
flure } and, at convenient diilances, hou* 
fiu of common refort for the fraternityn 
UtTC their victuals were dreffed an4 
their provifions laid in ; and here alfo 
ivere depofited the fpoils of the pu- 
blic, which, when converted into money, 
was locked in a firong box, one tenth 
for the ufc of the fociety on any emer- 

F 4 gence. 



I 



128 The FXJOL or QUALITY. 

gencc, and the other nine for the bci 
fit of the fpoileFs, in proportion to th 
refpeclive ranks and merits. 

Before werofe from our late-mention 
feftival, an ancient female fortunc-tel 
chucked me under the chin^ andfaid, ] 
ou know, my dcar^ where this fameki 
andlord Kvcs, who robbed you of yc 
money f All I know, faid I, is, that 
lives in a little town, at the fign of a wh 
crofs, and near to a great windm 
What, cried one of the men, my old h 
Jerry Gruff ? He hates that any, exc< 
kimlfAfy fluittki profper by their iugenuii 
I owe thafe fdlMr ar fling, cried anoth 
for once attempting to circumvent i 
ki his own houfe. Well, my lad, £ 
Geoffry the old governor, his houfe 1 
direftly 10 the way of our circuit ; ar 
for your encouragement, I promife j 
tliat he (hall refund you every penny 
the money he took from you. 

The luggage being now up, "we wc 
back on the field- path by which I can: 
and coming to a great road, we divid 
into fmall parties, who were appointed 
meet at the rendezvous, where we fupp 
merrily, and flept foundly for that nig! 

We fet out, the next morning, 
dawn of day, and entering foon after 1 
on a comoAob) we law a parcel of hor 

feedi 



The fool of QUALITY, uy 

feeding without a keeper. Immediately 
three of the likelicft were taken from the 
reft. Out came fciffars and other im- 
plements, with phials of colouring ef- 
iences, and to work went many hands, 
when, in lefs than five minutes, had the 
owners come up, they could not have 
found a fingle mark of their own pro- 
perty upon them. Aud indeed I have 
frequently known fome of thofe, my in- 
genious brotherhood, fo very audacious 
as to fell, in public market, the cattle, 
which they had ftolen, to the very per* 
fons from whom they were taken. 

As thefe people were never unprovided 
of their conveniencies, the hoiies were 
quickly bridled and difpatched, by feveraf 
cmifTaries, feveral ways, to fummon the 
neighbouring brotherhood, on the third 
night, to meet near the white crofs with 
their appointed apparatus* 

Accordingly, on the evening of the 
night required, we arrived on a little hill 
that ftood oppofite to the houfe of my' 
confcientious landlord ; and, foon after, 
We were joined by feveral parties, from- 
ieveral fides, amounting to about a hun- 
dred and twenty perfons, with parcels of 
I knew not what upon afles, &c. 
The packs were quickly opened, and 

from theoce were produced black aqd 



150 Til 2 FOOL OF qUALlTT. 

flame coloured gowns, flambeaux, hoofs, 
and horns, and vizards of horrid afpeft 
and terrific dimenfion. In a hurry, wc 
wei e all fitted w ith our refpective drcffcs 
and characters. A large pafteboard cof- 
fin was covered with a white fiieet, and 
exalted upon the ftioulders of four fiery 
devils ; and, as ilight began to fall dark, 
and heavy upon us, a light was ftrucfc^ 
the flams were lighted, one was put into 
every right hand; fpeaking - trumpets, 
with other inftruments of heart-finking 
founds, were put to many a mouth, and 
we direcHy fet out on our diabolical pro- 
ceffion. Some roared like bulls, others 
houled and bayed like dogs at a midnight- 
moon, while others yelled articulately in 
the caterwauling gibberifh ; in fliort, the 
founds made fuch a complication ef hor- 
rors as no mortal ears could abide, nor 
mortal courage fupporr. 

Mean while the town took the alarJED^ 
and began to be in commotion • (^ an& 
young quitted tlieir houfts^ and hurried 
hither and thither through the fireet. 
But, as we advanced, they made back**^ 
ward^and running, or climbing, or fcnuri* 
bling up the bill, they gathered all in % 
body before the windmill. In the interim^) 
we pujQied forward,' and entereot the inn, 

vbcreiKdfcfaer- cat jiQ^ living 

creature 



The fool of QUALITY- 131 

creature was left, fave Goodman GrufF, 
who lay impotent of the gout, in an up- 
per chamber. 

While moft of the company ftaid rout* 
ing and fearching the houfe belo^v, Sig- 
nior Geoffry led a few of us up ftairs. He 
reprefented the pcrfon of Lucifer, whofc 
name was impreiTed in flaming charadlers 
on this cap* On entering the room where 
landlord Gruff lay, Hark ye j Jerry, fays 
Lucifer, you fneaking thief, you inean 
petty-larceny villain I how came you to 
rob a child, the other day, af the money 
vhich he gained under my influence and 
encouragement ? I have a mind,, you 
icovmdrel, to flrike you out of my Hit of 
innkeepersr O, my good Lord Lucifer^r 
cries Gruff, with a trembling voice, m 
mj confcience, now, I did not think that 
any kind of robbery would be an offence y 
to your Honour. You lie, you rafcal^ '] 
you lie, cries Lucifer, the devil is a gen* 
tieman, he loves thofe who rob- the great,. 
who have robbed the Iktle ^ but he hates 
yonr low-fpirited fcoundtels,. who rob 
the widow, and the fatheriefs^ and taka 
from the little ones the little that they 
iavc. Why, pray, my Lord Lucifer, are 
joa a C3iriihan i cries Gruff. A better one, 
lafeal,. than you or any of your tribe ^ 
ibr> tbouglL I tremble, yet I j)idieve. 
>'/ J 6 Awl 



1^2 The fool ok qUALITY. 

And I tell thee, Jerry, that 1 will make 
this geuerotioo to tremble ;. but, as I think, 
the devil himfelf canaot biiBg^ them to 
believe,. 

During this con^fabnlation, the whole 
houfe,. drawers and all, was gutted as 
cleani as a fowl for fupper^ So, without 
entering into^ any other habitation, awa^ 
we marched as in our former tremendous 
procefiion ; till, coming to fome flanding 
water, we halted, and,, at a given word» 
we all together plunged our torches in 
the pool,, and iimant night fell upon- all 
the worlds 

Thus, horn day ta day,, and year to 
year,, while I continued with this people^ 
i was witnjefs ta a variety of Heights,. dM 
ceit?,^ impoilures, metamorpholeSy. ancK 
depredations, without anyinflance of thns 
being brought to condign, puniihnient^ 
One of them,. however,, within. my, time^ 
was deteded, taken, imprifonedj brought" 
to the bar,, tried, and. brought in gp^lty p 
and yet found means tu> evade juftice hfr 
the moi}r ipacvellous. piece of. ftratagemr 
that ever was*. 

He wasfpied in the z€t of ftealingai 
bxy horfe.. Freflii fuit was: made. He 
was.feized, and loaded with irons. iu the^ 
dungeon of the county^gaoL On the<^ 
i3j:o£ tital..tli|C fa^ wa» proved by in-. 
« J ^ CQntefiai2le 



The fool of QUALITY* 133 

con tellable witneffes ; and the jury, with* 
out quitting the box, pronounced the 
fiatal word Guilty. ' Have you any thing 
to fay, cried the judge, why fentence o£ 
death fhould not be pronounced againfl 
you? I can truly affirm, exclaimed the 
culprit, that I am as clear as the light 
of this matter ; that the beaft which I 
took, then was, and, to this hour, is my 
own property; and that there muft be 
ii)m€ Wonderful miftake in this buiinefs ; 
wherefore, my Lord, as I am upon life 
and death, I truft that your charitable 
indulgence will order this fame horfe tot 
be brought into court. The horfe ac- 
cordingly was brought, and the culprit 
continued, Now, my Lord, be pleafed toi 
order the witnefles to fay whether this 
be the fame horfe that L dole or not?-. 
The fame, the fame, cried the witneiTes,. 
by virtue of dur oaths. Be fo gpood then, 
ny Lord, to alk them of vrhat age thi^^ 
bme was, at the time that I flole him ?. 
3y virtue of the fame oath, four year^: 
•Id, rifing five. Now, my Lord, if you: 
will continue your gracious indulgence^ 
be pleafed to order nis mouth to be ex-* 
amined by fome people fkiUed in fuch 
natters. This alio was done by twor 
cr three Jockeys, of acknowledged judg* 
«ent^ who infiantlyoied gut. Why, mjt 

Locd^ 



134 Thr fool of quality. 

Lord, this horie is quite paiTed mark 
of mouth. 

Hereupon every perfon that was pre* 
fent looked aftonifhed, and filcnce wa<5 in 
court for fome minutes ; till the culprit 
refumed. There is but one requeft more 
with which I ihall trouble your Lordihip; 
it is, that you would be pleafed to fend 
and examine whether this fame horfe be 
a horfe or mare. Tliis laftly was done, 
when the examiners cried out, A mare 
my Lord, a mare, without any qucftion! 

Here the furpiife and amazement of 
the court was redoubled. The jury look- 
ed down abafhed ; the M^tneiles flunk 
away in utter fhame and confiifion ; and 
his Lordihip inftantly ordered,. .that the 
prifoner ihould be difmifled without fees, 
and that the mare fhould be refiored to 
him as his proper goods. 

Now, the whole myftcry of the affair 
was merely this, that fome of the fratcr^ 
nity, the very night before the- trial, 
had picked the lock of the ftable, and, 
in the place of the horfe, had fubilituted 
this mare, which they fbyixd or formed 
to fo perfe(5t ;a refemblance of him, that! 
no eye could difGem the fmalleft dii^ 
lin^ion* 

During my fojourn with thefe wretchery 
■uyit plcafc yout Hqnoun^ I found hjis 



The fool of QUALITY. 135 

dear experience, that, between the birth 
and the gi'ave, there are but two forts of 
happtnefs.^ of which man is capable. The 
one is, that of a confcience void of giving 
ifffince ; the other is, that of a confcience 
that cannot be offended. I was therefore 
perpetually miferable, becaufe neither the 
one nor the other was my ftate : for, on 
the one hand, I was confqious that I gave 
daily offence to God and man ; and, on 
the other hand, my confcience was daily 
offended thereby. I was merry, indeed, 
though not happy, when in company, 
but ever dejefted when left alone j fo 
that, during my three years incorporatioh 
with tBis fraternity, I never once lifted 
my h6art in any appeal to God, nor ven- 
tured to petition for any kind of favour 
from him. 

Though thefe reprobates, as I have 
intimated, continued to perpetrate, and to 
glory, with a nierry and fatisfied confci^ 
ence, in their daily iniquities ; yet hitheN 
to they had not proceeded to blood. 

On the night, wherein I left them, we 
were overtaken, and cut fliort of oifr 
btended reft, by a fudden and violent 
teihpeft of wind and hail, whereupon we 
took ihelter in a wafte barou 



1^6 The FOOL* of QUALITY. 

When we had ftruck a light, we fet 
together what draw and combuftiblcs 
we could find in the houfe, and had 
juft kindled a fire, when one of the 
company came and whifpered that there 
was a man afleep in the far corner^ 
Hereupon they took the candle, and, 
with foft and cautious ileps, found 
a pedlar firetchcd along, with his hea4 
on a wifp of firaw, and his box cloie 
beii^e him. They immediately lifted 
the box, and brought it away, in filcnce, 
to the place where I was fitting. Oa 
opening it, with as little noife as poffible, 
they found therein a large quantity of 
filks, linens, and laces, with a rich va- 
riety of hard wares ; and, at the bottom, 
a little padlocked chefl, full of Englifk 
and Spanifh pieces of gold ; in all likeli- 
hood the whole amount of the laboun 
of his life. 

This was a prize not to be throws 
down the flream. Immediately all was 
in a kind of underbreatbing buflle, and 
whifpering commotion. The great que* 
ftion was, how to pofTefs themfelves (d 
fuch a prey with fafety to their pevfbns* 
It was objeAed, that the man might waken, 
they were unluckily feen comings that 
way, and, it may be, entering into that 
Jiou^^ the country might be alarmed 

wd 



The FOGL of qUALITT, 137 

and rife upon them ; they might be over- 
taken ; they might be feized in the very 
faft. 

" At length a bold villain propofed di- 
rcftly to cut his throat, and that then 
there could be no witnefs to teftify againft 
them ; but to this it was again objected, 
that the blood itfelf would be the fear- 
fiilleft and fureft of all witnefleSr Where- 
upon, another propofed to fufFocate or 
firangle him, and bury his coipfe on the 
fpot J to which fcheme, though many 
wcrcfilent, yet nooneexprefsJy excepted. 
■ During this deadly confultation, not- 
withftanding my long courfe of evil ha- 
bit^ auJ evil example, my Mood curdled 
throughout my body, and fear, horror, 
and deteftation arofe in my bofom. But 
when they went, as I fuppoftd, to put the 
deed of death into inftant execution, I 
crouched and (hrunk inward ; and creep- 
ing out at the door, the dread of be- 
ing alfo feized and murdered, gave me 
ftrength to get on my feet, and, feeling 
dong by the wall, I got away from the 
houfe, and made off I neither knew nor 
cared whither. 

The tcmpeft ftill continued ; the dri* 
^g of the clouds added to the natural 
horrors of night ; I could fcarcely difcern 
that I had a road under my foot. But» 




far as I could from the fcene c 
terrors, on the riAng of the day I 
large town before me, and, for th( 
time of three years, I lifted up my 
and inwardly blcflcd God for his i 
in my efcape from io great a wicker 
Tliercupon I feit a pleafure that 
never felt before ; and I faid in my I 
If you will once more be my God, 
be your true fervant, and will nev 
fend or tranfgrefs any more. 

I then walked on leifurely; w 
tigue went from mc, and I feemed 
lightfome to myfelf. On enterinj 
fuburbs, I met a gentleman takin 
I morning's walk out of town. 1 fti 

and looked him wiftfully in the 
whereupon he alfa Aooped and ey< 
with much attention. Who are 



The tool of QJJALITY. 139 

ny lack of ability. Then, cried he, you 
fliall be my fervant. All the fervaat» 
I ever had, promifed every thing, but 
did Uttle ; I will now try what may be 
done by one who promifes nothing. 
What is your name, my boy ? David 
Doubtful, Sir ! for that was my true 
name, though I had gone by feveral 
othei^. And what wages muft 1 give 
you, David ? Juft as much. Sir, or as 
ttttle as you fhali [^eafe to thinkldeferve. 
Here he took, me to a handfome houfe, 
where he kept a mercer's Ibop in Ply- 
fiiouth. His name was Felton ; he had 
been a widower of fome years, and had 
I& only fon who was then at WeilminfteF 
ichool in London. 

My matter, at firft, fet me to the moft 
ienrife and vile offices, fuch as cleaning 
bis and the fervants Ihoes ; fweeping the 
ftreet before his door, and carrying out 
the dirt of the houfe : but all this I did 
ivith willingnefs, and even with pleafure, 
ift fome little matter of penance for my 
ong courfe of evil deeds. 

On my feparating from my brethreBr 
n iniquity, as I have told you, I was 
lie proprietor of one hundred and (even- 
:j odd pounds^ which was locked up 
n the common cheft, being my allotted 
lividend of the fruits of our knavery, 

for 



^o The FOQL of qUALITY. 

for three fucceffive years ; but, in my 
prefent turn of mind, I would no more 
have accepted any part thereof than I 
would have taken a bar of red-hot iron 
into my hand. I had alfo, in my pock- 
et, a few crowns with fome fmaller filvcr; 
but thefe I fecretly diftributed among 
the poor, that no part, as it were, of 
Achan's accurfed thing might remai0 
about me. 

In about three weeks, my maftcr 
again changed the whole manner of my 
fervice, and fet me to bru(h his cloatbs, 
drefs his wigs, whet the knives, lay the 
cloth, and attend at table ; but thefe 
were matters in which I was quite ex« 
pert, as I had not yet forgotten my cflh 
ployment with my firft mailer. 

In fome time after, Mr. Felton alked 
me if I could read ? A little in the Bible^ 
Sir, faid I. And can you write tobt 
David ? If you pleafe 1 will try. Sir. 
Why, David ! this beats the hand of 
my clerk ; where in the world did yon 
come by all this learning ? From a very 
good mafter to a very bad fervant ; but 
pray, Sir, do not inquire the particulars 
of my naughtinefs ; for, indeed, you 
could not defire a feverer monitor than 
my own confcience is to mc. Well, my 
child, fiid the good man, I will not 

put 



The FOOL of qUALITY. 141 

put you to pain; ?ind fo, giving me a 
^ueeze by the hand, he went out with a 
gliftening eye. 

From this (time my mafter fliewed an 
uncommon refpect and attention to me. 
He difcharged me from all the menial 
offices of his houfehold ; he gave me his 
burdens of filks, and other wares to car- 
ry to his feveral cuftomers ; and he de- 
fired me to take particular notice of the 
nature and values of what I carried. 
. On this encouragement I became vaft- 
ly more apprehenfive and ailiduous than 
he looked tor. I attended the fliop clofe- 
ly, and took notice and private notes of 
all that was eftimated or tranfafted there- 
in. My mafter looked quite amazed, on 
alking me fome queftions with refpeft to 
his aftiirs. His eldeft apprentice, foon 
.after, fet up for himfelf. He then pla- 
ced me behind the counter, over his 
■jounger apprentice, and in joint autho- 
rity with his journeyman. And, foon 
'tftcr, he gave me the key of his till, and 
.the truft of all his treafure. I now di- 
ned with him at the fame table, and con- 
folted and converfed with him as his 
.friend and companion. He frequently 
gave me pocket-money, which, he told 
me, he would not charge to the account 
of my wages. I walked with \dm every 



142 The FOOL of qUALITT. 

evening, went to church with him every 
Sunday, and read to him in the BiUe, 
every night, I was now wholly rec<Mi- 
ciled to my God, and felt him in my foul 
as a friend and benefaftor. Pleafure play- 
ed about my heart, peace lay under osy 
pillow; and my happinefs feemed as i 
ihip that, after a long and detente 
voyage, had anchored in a calm and 
fee u re haven. 

I had now been fomething upward oft 
year in the fervice of Mr. telton, -wbcB 
one day I heard a buftling noife in the 
ftreet, and fiw people running hither and 
thither acrofs the window. 1 ftcpped to 
the door, and, looking to the left, law a 
great croud about a cart, wherein were 
five criminals going to execution. I (laid 
till they came juft oppofite to me, when, 
to my utter aftonifliment and terror, I 
f:iw hve of my old acquaintance, and^ 
in the front of tliem, the bloody villain 
who had propofed cutting the throat of 
the unfortunate pedlar. Inflantly I turned 
all pale as my Ihirt, and, dreading that 
tliey would know and claim acquaintance 
with me, I ihrunk in, and running back- 
ward, threw myfelf half fainting into a 
chair. 

I now rcflerted, that it was happy for 
me no one was in the (hop to take no- 
tice 



i 



The fool of qUALITY. 143 

tice of my confuiion ; and endeavouring 
to afiume fome courage, on the entrance 
of our journeyman, I put on the mod 
Boconcemcd appearance that I could. 

Mr. Felton happened to dine abroad 
that day, and did not return till the 
doth was laid for fupper. He took his 
chair at table, and defired me to fit be- 
iide him. David, (aid he, is it not won- 
dcrfud that people . ifhould continue fo 
incredulous, notwithflanding the frequent 
-and daily proofs of an all-leeing and an 
all-deteAing Providence ? If a fparrow 
falls not to the ground without the no- 
tice of our God, how much more will 
be take account of the life of him whom 
)ie formed in his own image? The vil- 
lain trufts to hide his villany, and dares 
to afCrm (with the firft murderer) in the 
face of God and of man, / knoia net 
where is my brother. But blood has a 
voice, a ciying voice, David ; it cries 
aloud to heaven, from the very bowels 
of the earth. No depth can cover ir, 
no darknefs can conceal it, for the light 
that ihineth in darknefs will bring it 
forth to the day. 

About twelve months ago, a pedlar was 
murdered in a wafte houfe, called Field- 
ing's barn. The ihurdoiers were of the 

people 



244 The FOOL of qUALITT. 

people whom thev call Gipfies, the naoft 
iribcii 2iid eraiiTc of all forts of reprofaatcSi 
ib ihiz the ixct lay a long time in filence* 
Thii pedlar, it feems, had an only brother, 
to whom the reverfion of his fuhftance 
belonged; and this brother, not feeing 
or hearing from him of a long timc^ 
went through the whole country, and 
t0n>ua:h many parts of the Idngdooiy 
inquiring arier him. At length he ai^ 
rived, one evening, at an inn fome miles 
from hence, where he found in the kitchr 
en, feven men jovially feated over a 
bowl of punch ; he quickly accepted 
their invitation, and having fpent the 
time pleafantly, and the houfe bdi^ 
thronged, he and one of the company 
were Ihewn to the lame bed. 

About midnight, his companion began 
tamoan molt piteocfly, when, jogging and 
diking him why he groaned? O, Eielding^ 
barn ! Le cried, Fielding^s bam! Fielding^! 
barn ! Again, he cried. You cannot lay 
it, you cannot iay that m.y hand was in 
the murder. Again he would mutter, 
with a half'fmother*d voice. See, fee, how 
he ilruggles, fee how he kicks ; put, put 
him out of pain, O put him out of 
pain ! 

Hereupon the brother rofe, and drefled 
as quietly as poflible, and, making away 

to 



T/iE FOOL OF tyJALITY. 145 

M> tke next -magiflrate, he returned, fei* 
Bcd,. aod cairied off his bedfellow, before 
my of his comrades were apprifed of the 
matter. . 

What have you done, you villain^ faid 
die magiftrate without preface, whac 
tutve you done with the body of the 
pedlar whom you murdered in Fielding's 
bom? On Uiis queftion, the wretch^ 
tlunkin^ that all was deteded, infiantly 
lett on his knees. I had neither hand nor 
heart in the murder. Sir, he cried ; and^ 
if you will get me a pardon, I will faith- 
fiiuy tdl yeu the whole afEiir. On his 
confeflion, the five principal rogues were 
taken before they were out of bed. 
And on his evidence, and that of their 
ieventh companion, they were fentenced, 
and this day executed, and are to be 
pbbeted in die morning. 

During this narration, I could not re- 
frain from cxpreiSng, by my countenance 
and gefture, the ftrong compunction I 
filt on recollecting my long aiTociation 
with thofe reprobates ; but my good ma- 
ter, as I fuppofe, afcribed my emotions 
merely to the deteflation which I had of 
dkcir deeds. 

I had been clofe upon two years in the 
fcrvice of Mr. Felton, and he had lately 
■tgreed with me at 2 5 1. yearly, whereof 

VouUI. G \x^ 



146 The FOOL of qUALITY. 

he paid me the laft year's wages lO 
hand ; when one evening, as I ftood be- 
hind the counter, a young woman came 
in and defired to fee fuch uid fuch goods. 
While ihe was cheapening on the one 
hand, and I fetting forth the extraordi- 
nary value on the other, feveral inteUi- 
gent glances were exchanged between iu» 
Whenever her eyes met mine, ihe in- 
ilantly caft them down with 21 bhiflung 
modefty ; and yet whenever I kxdced at 
her, I faw that her eyes had been fixed 
upon me. At length having bought fomf 
httle matters, fhe made me a baflifbl 
couTtcf % and going out at the door, ihe 
turned upon me with a fignificant glancCi 
and departed. 

All that night 1 felt myfelf as I had 
Rc^er felt before ; I turned and turned 
again from the image of this girl, an4 
yet ihe feemed to iland before me, and 
to look, and to look «pon me, as ihe 
had done the day before. 

For five tedious days ihe with-held her- 
felf irom my fight, and I feared that I 
ihould never behold her any more. At 
length ihe canje, apd I ilrove in vain to 
conceal my joy on her appearance. After 
cheapening and paying for fome litdc 
matters ihe caft her eye on a piece of 
hlk, which, ihe faid, ihe fancied Rrcatly, 
but feared that her pocket would not 

reach 



The FOOL t>F qjJALITY. 147 

retell fo fan O Mifs! faid I, we {hall 
not quarrel for fuch a matter, provided I 
know where to caU for the money. On 
Sarah Simper, Sir, faid ihe, at fuch a 
£gu, in fuch a row. 

As I had three or four fpare hours 
firom bufiaefs every evening, I gladly 
laid hold of the occafion I haa gotten for 
fpending that time in viiits to my belo- 
ved. I went indeed, without forming any 
nnrpofe or intention, fave the pleafure oV 
leeiBg her. 'Her fondne^ feemed, at 
Jeaft^ to equal my own ; and, though 
we'|yroceeded at times to toying and 
driving, yet for three weeks we kept 
wiChin warrantable limits. But this was 
not always the cafe« Our firft tranfgrei- 
fioB w^s fucceeded, on her part, by tears 
and reproaches, and, on mine, by a depth 
irf^forrow and remorfe. 

As this was my firft fault, with refpec): 
to woman, my confcience was yet unfteel- 
cd. I fpent the night in fighs and tears 
of contrition ; and I repeated a thoufand 
promifes and vows to my God, that 1 ne- 
ver would be guilty of the like again. 

For five entire days I kept from going 
to her. At length 1 confidered, that, as 
I had injured her, I ou^ht to make her 
fuch recompenfe as was m my power. I 
put about twelve pounds into my pockef, 

' G 2 bdTvj^ 



148 The FOOL of qUALITT. 

being all that I had left of my lafi year'f 
falary, and went and told her, that I was 
come to take my leave of her ; then, pour- 
ing the money into her lap, I pronmed to 
give her what I ihould earn from time to 
time, and to marry her whenever I ihould 
be enabled to maintain a family. Here 
we both fell into tears, and from tears we 
proceeded to carefies, and fo forth, tiO 
at lail we became as guilty as we had 
been before. 

In like manner, for the fix enfuing 
weeks, I kept on in a courfe of repenting 
and finning, and of finning, and ai 
repenting. Every night I formed reiolD- 
tioiis which I imagined would be ftronger 
than any 1 had made before ; but what* 
ever force I put on myfelf, whatever 
firength I exerted, I never was able to 
perfevere for three days together. When 
J felt myfelf drawn to her, as by feme 
irrefiftibie power, I vowed, and flat- 
tered myfelf on the way, that I would 
return without tranfgreffing ; but, when 
I came to her, I found it quite as impof- 
fible to keep from finning with her as 
it was to keep from her. Thus, by frail 
and falfified vows, I daily continued to 
add to the heap of my guilt ; till at 
length I became hopclefe of any ability 
to refift temptation, and finned on with 

my 



The fool of QTJALITY. tjfy 

my eyes open, and yet with leis remorfe 
dKiir before. 

As I was fitting with her one evenings 
z bailiff entered fuddenly, and laid an* 
aofHon upon her for fifteen pounds, which, 
be faid, (he promifed to pay for her mo- 
ther in her lafi itlnefs. Whether the debt 
was feigned, and the caption precon- 
certed between them, I know not ; but 
f afterward recolleded, that Ihe did not 
feem to be fo alarmed, as one would- 
have expeded on fuch an occafion. On- 
the other hand^ my foul was filled with 
bitter and diftracbing thoughts. I could 
not think of fuffering my love to be con- 
fined among fellows in a common pri-' 
ion ; and yet how to come by the money, 
I knew not. I offered the man my note 
payable when my falary fliould be due ; 
bat he refufed to depart without inftant 
payment. Hereupon I htirried homel- 
and taking out 15 1. of say matter's mo- 
■ey^ I returned and difcharged the a<5lion. 

From this time my fair-one began to- 
extend her appetites, and to rife in her 
paffions. Under colour of being with' 
child, her longings and fits came frequent 
upon her, and I was in a manner confirain- 
ed to indulge her till I had taken of my 
Hiaftcr's money to the 'amount of fifty 
pounds. 

G J David,- 



rso The FOOL of qUALITT* 

Dzvid, fikid flie one day, it is time to 
tc4l you that I muft foon qliit my maatusi- 
making bufinefs, for I am growing too 
big to appear with d^ency among my 
cufiomers. So you muft take other 
lodgings for me, and provide a Sufficient 
fund to defray the many neceflary ex- 
pences of child-birth. And where, my 
deareft Sally ! may fuch a fund be pro- 
vided ? I have already gone lengths for 
you that may bring me to the gallows. 
If you had not been a poor-fpirited fel- 
low, fays five, you could not bear to five- 
Jn the fears that haunt you fo ; you would 
long iiBce have made away with diat old 
fcoundrel your mafter. Here, throw this 
little duft into his broth, or his poflet^ 
and then you may wallow in money widi- 
out fear of account. 
' Here I looked her full in the face, 
when every beauty that had once en- 
chanted me, fuddenly vanifhed from my 
fight, and I iaw nothing but the dire 
head of a fhaky Meduia. However,. I 
fupprefled my horror as well as I could ; 
and putting back the paper. No, no, no» 
no, Sally, faid I, I would rather die 
the worft of deatiis myfelf, than have 
a hand io making away with my kind 
ol^ mafter. And die you fhall then, Ihe 
cried, for I will not perifli alone. She 

then 



TH«i F'OCJJL a#. QJJ ALITY. 15:1. 

^tsai dropped on her kiiees» and vowed, 
y^ith fearful imprecations, that £he would 
gp dire£lly to Mr. Felton, and. make 
au difcovery of my robberies ; that ibe 
would alfo go to the next magifirate^ 
and fwear a rape againll me ; and that 
^ie would poifon herfelf, and the ba>- 
ftard within her, that Ihe might not 
hnn^ into the world any part of fuch" 
» villain. 

While (he fpoke, her afpef): looked livid 
and deadly, and wrath and defperation^ 
ft^ed in' fire from her eyes. 

My dear Sally, faid Ij lower your paf- 
fipns a little,^ give* me tiiat paper again ;- 
we ihall fee what m^y be done;. And 
Jiere I leave you my watch as a pledge of 
my return by to-mprrow at noon. This I 
dfifd) however, not with the fmalleft inten*' 
t|Qn of keeping my promife ; for L de* 
termiiied never mor& to look her in the- 
£ftce. But I bequeathed to her, as it 
If ere, t;he only ftake of value \|^hich re* 
Qiained to me, that the wrqtch whom- 
Ihad ruined might not be left akogether . 
ilfithout means of life* 

When I got into the ftreet, f haftened^ 
homeward, without deliberating a mo** 
ment on what I was abobt, or on the 
coniequenccs that tnight enfue. My ma- 
iler w.is in a back cham^;er, looking over 

G 4 fome 



jf2 The fool of qUALITT. 

fomc letters, when I rufhed in precip»>' 
tately, and- ihut the door behind me» 
What » the matter, child, fays he ; are 
you not well? You look pale and af^ 
frighted ; what is the niatter, David ? O 
Sir ! O Sir ! and I funk upon my kflees» 
I bring to you a villain, a reprobate, a 
thief, a robber^ a betrayer of trufts, alfi> 
the vileft fiiiner that ever finned againft 
God and againft man. I got in* league 
with a bad woman who feduced me by 
her beaury, and then prevailed upon me* 
to defraud and rob you, and would have 
perfuaded me to murder you; but there 
I ftopt ihort; I could not be prevailed! 
upon to murder you, my mafter ! Pray 
then,, faid he fomewhat ftemLy^ to wbats 
intent are you come ? To demand jnitice^ 
Sir ! I cried, and to appeafe my own con- 
fcience by fuffering for my faults. Tell 
me then, laid he mildly, and teU me 
truly, of how much money have you de* 
frauded me ? Of fifty pounds. Sir! I 
anfwered, a few (hillings under or over.. 
Rife then, pray rife, my David ! he 
cried ; I would not brinj^ you to fhame^ 
and much left to punimment, for five 
times the value of fifty pounds. I owe* 
you^ for your fervices, very nearly that 
lum, and I forgive you the remainder 
with all my heart. No, Sir! I cried 

aloud. 



The fool of qUALITlT. 153; 

alpud, and burft intO' tears, you do noff 
forgive me, ybu cannot forgive me, fop 
this your gx)odnefs does but heap the 
heavier guilt upon my foul^- 
■ He then gx)t up and came to me, and 
railing, me to his bofom, he embraced 
me, and cried', I rejoice over thee, my 
David,- I rejoice over thee, my child, as 
Heavca rejoictth over the one finner that 
repentethy mote than over the ninety and 
nine that have no need of repentance. 
You now know your own fraitties ; you 
arc fenfible of your lapfes, you "Will be 
cautious of future faUs ;• and you iland 
upon firmer ground than ever. 

You know me not, I exclaimed ! You 
know mc not, mv good mafter. I anii 
wholly irreclaimable^ The devil has ta« 
ken pofleifion of me, and reigns through 
all' my members*. I find it ^uite in vain 
to-ftnvc or firuggle agatnft him'. I have 
nO' more firength than a' midge againft 
temptation ; no more power than a weak 
uxd fainting man againft a torrent that 
ilrcady has borne him far away. 

I will pray for you, my foo, faid the 
ffK}d man vehemently ! I will wreftle with 
my God for you ! and his grace fhall be 
^jififcient. No, Sir, I replied, after that 
which has happened, I never ihall be 
ibk to look you in the iace^ I will not 

G S' truft 



:54 The FOOL of qUALlTY. 

tiuft myfclf. I know that I (hould fJl 
on the firft trial. Will you leave me 
then, he cried, will you leave me, my 
Ton David? and he took out his hand- 
kerchief, and wiped away the falling tear. 
I muft, I anfwered, I muft leave you, 
my deareU mafier, 1 ihould be miferablc 
if I ft aid. I will go dire^ly to fea, I 
will confine myfelf in fome (hip, where 
I fhall be fhut from any commerce or 
communication with mankind, and not 
have it within my reach to wrong or da- 
mage any perfon. And, indeed, I could 
not bear to fiay in one town, or even 
in one kingdom, with that bad woman. 
Where may fhe be found, David ? iaid 
Mr. Fclton* Ah ! Sir ! I exclaimed, leave 
her to God, and to her own evil conici- 
ence, I befeech you. I believe ihe k 
with child, by me. Do not defire, my 
mailer, to hurt a Ik tie innocent, that has 
not yet fcen the light ! No, my Da>vid^ 
no ; I mean nothing but comfort to her. 
I mean to fupply her wants, and to foften 
her difireieg. She will not then hr 
tempted to wifh hurt to her benefaAor,. 
and I will take care of the little wretck 
which ftie carries in her body, for yeur 
jkkc, my David- 
There was^fomething lb afie&ing. Gen* 
tlcmen^ id iuch a proof id wonderful 

gQpdiid0> 



The fool ot qUALlTY. tss 

goodncCsj as miift have ftruck to the 
heart of the moft abandoned reprobate. 
I was quite overcome thereby. I fell 
fuddenly at his feet, and I wiflied to 
pour out my very foul, in the fame man-- 
ner as I poured my tears upon them^ 

As he now^ found' that I was bent and 
determined on departing; David, fays he, 
fince yoa will go, you muft not go 
unprovided •• A failor ought to have 
proper neceflaries; and, if you will 
l^ve me your company for three or four 
days longer, I will get you a good 
birth in fome flup or other. Mean 
time I would advife you to fet about 
your preparations ; ^)r which purpofeyou 
jQuft accept thefe lifty guineas, which 

Jou may pl^e to return me, when fome 
appy adventure Ihall furnifli you with 
paeans* No, no. Sir, I -cried, putting 
lliB' purfe back with my hand,r your 
^n* 19 not the plan of your reprobate 
ftrvant } your good births are not at 
alt for my purpofe. I will go as a 
common failor; the meaneft offices and 
the greateft drudgery will be a penance 
too uttle, much too little, for my tranf? 
jpeffions. Aod» fo fitying^ I turned and 

ymxi b^x out. ^ 

6 # f aude 



156 The lOOL of QUALITY. 

I msule direc^y to the qqay, "wherel 
faw a croud of citizens intermixed witiv 
bailors. On going up, I found that they 
were inlJfting volunteers,, to whom they 
offered from one to three guineas per 
man. And what will you give me, Cap- 
tain, if I go with you ? He then looked 
eameilly at me, and, having eyed me 
feveral times, from head to toot, I ^iQ 
give you, my lad, faid he, five guineas in 
your fifl, and here is my hand tor a hear- 
ty welcome into the bargain. If your 
Honour then will be pleafed to order 
thofe five pieces to be laid out for me 
in fuch neceflaries as you think fitting; 
I live at fuch a plac^*^ and ihall be ready 
at a call. Enough^ faid the captain,^ our 
iliip is called the CenturioD, of diirty 
guns, tlie brave David Jenkins com- 
mander. We fet out by morning's tide, 
between ten and eleven ;. and if you< 
come without a call, you will be the 
more welcome.. So faying, he gave me 
a familiar ihake by the hand, and wc 
parted.. ^ 

I then went directly home, and, call- 
ing Mr. Felton afide, I told him of my 
fuccefs and engagement in the Centurion,, 
iiippreffing only the time of my early dfc- 
parture ^ tor I felt that I could not fiand 

the 



The fool qf (jJXJALrTY. 157 

tJie parting with him^ and I thought iit 
fteft tO' make it as little painful to him 
and myfeU, as might be. 

During, fupper, I endeavoured to chat;, 
Emt I could not. And as^ Mr. Felton, 
at times, looked affectionately upon me,. 
i turned my head afide, and a. filent tear 
fide down my cheek.^ 

I fpent the night in fighs and tear^,. 
and, getting up befol'e day, I took my 
flioes in my hand, and, ftepping foftly 
•ddwn- ftairs, would have ftoleo but at the 
flreetKloor; but, in thatinftant, the door 
of a fide-parlouF was opened^ and,^ be* 
fare I could lodk about, my mafter had 
me in his arm»;. Will you leave me, 
then, David, will' you indeed leave me ^ 
he cried. O, David, David, I love you 
aext ta my only child. Stay with me 
yet, my fon, Oj ftay with- me, my 
David, and I will do every thmg, I 
will, do all things that may be doqe 
for you. 

Here I funk, and was juft fainting, 
vnder the preffure of his goodneis. Do 
not kill me, my mailer,, do not kill me 
outright, I eried» You muft no loneer 
be burdened by my body of fin and death ; 
as God has ror&lcen me, I muft leave 

iou, my mafter ! let him do with me as 
e will, and if I paifh^ I periih. So 

laying;^ 



158 The FOOL or QUALITY. 

faying, I broke from him, and away 1 
rufhcd; weeping and fobbing all the 
way^ as though my heart would cleave in 
iiinder. 

The captain received me with great 
.cordiality, and at times called me hi» 
namefakcy and was very familiar with me. 
The failors alfo, after his example, began 
to afiec); me without any appearance of 
envy ; for chough I had not been exer- 
cifed in their profeiKon, yet I was firong, 
hale, and active, and ready to aflift thera 
at every turn. 

In the mean time, pleafe your Honours, 
it may appear very extraordinary, though 
I felt daily compunctioD, and nightly 
wept many tears for havinj^ offended my 
<jod throughout the courle of my fife > 
yet I neither prayed to him, nor befou^ 
pardon from him, nor applied to him for 
any kind of fupport or aiQflance.^ 

I was now incorporated with a frater* 
nity whofe wickednefs was of a ^secieS' 
quite different from that of my former 
brotherhood. Our failors were fo fur 
from cheating and defrauding, that 
they fcarcfc feemed to have any regan^i 
for property ; and they were as brave 
a fet of fellows as ever trod a deck. But 
then they weire as hardened to any ieniie' 
Qi religion m piety sis the nether millr 

ftone y 



The fool of qUAUTY. 15^ 

ilone; and the facred and tremendous^ 
names of 6od» and his Chrifi, were of 
no other import to them than as tl.e 
balls of a billiard-table, to be toiTed and 
bandied about for fport. 

At firft this was a matter of great of- 
fence and horror to me* Can tb^re be 
a God, I would fay to myfelf, and can he 
fuffer his tremendous name to be infulted 
and blafphemed as it is by thefe wretches i 
But, alas ! I was not as one of the three 
captives at Babylon ; I could not be cafl: 
into the f iHnacb, and come forth without 
a linge. In ttime this profsmenefs became 
lefs irkfome to my ears ;. and, by degrees^ 
I began to r-diih and to catch the common 
-contagion. \ 

At times, however, fome thoughts of 
God and a Savkmr would come into my 
:Biind, and the pious^ imprefiions of xnj 
.iafaiicy wcMild return upon me i bat I 
.did my beft to banifh them,, as thejr 
ierved but to torment me* 

At times, again, I would filently cxr 
poftulate, as it were, with God. k isr 
.-true, I would lay to him, I have been 
wicked, die^perately wicked, through' a 
long courfe of finning; but did I not 
iong ftrive, andfiroggle, and fig^t againft 
.-temptation } If you meant me for your- 

Idf, why did you aot makt mc with le& 

pronenefsr 



j6o The FOOL of qUALITYe 

pronenefs to evil ; or why did you noC 
give me greater ftrengtb to refill f 

Again fliockin^ and blafpbemouB 
thoughts w€mld enter into my gloomy 
foul: As though the gofpel were allsi 
fable, and religion nothing but prieft^ 
craft : That all everts were of chance z 
That men were good or evH, merely ac- 
cording to conflitution } and that dthep 
there was no God, or he was too great 
or too difiant to concern himfelf with the 
infignificant affairs of mortals. But thefe 
infuirons of the tempter were never of 
long continuance ; and again I would rcii- 
tum to believing and trembling.- 

Our fliip had been deftined to protect 
the trade in the Levant. Within the 
fpace of five months, we had refcued 
from the cs^tors fix £^gliih fhips,.and 
made prize of three fiout frigates, of thofe 
African pirates who war upon the world;- 
when the boy from the maft^head cried- 
out, A fail! We immediately made chace, 
and found by evening that we had gainccL 
confiderably upon her ;. but as the night 
came on thick and hazy, we fliortened 
fail, and lay to till mornmg, but hung, 
out no lights.* 

Ac dawn of day, we renewed the chace, 
though no fail was then in fight ; but 
we had not continued it above four or 

five 



Tbe fool of qiTAMTY. p<fi; 

five leagues, when we clearly difcerned^ 
the tame veflel, and perceiyed that ihe 
altered her courfe, and was bearing down' 
toward us* 

Hereupon we fhortened fail, and wait- 
ed for her. But we had not waited 
long, till we* perceived a fecond veflel that 
feemed in chace of the firft ; and fome 
time after faw a third that feenaed in chace 
ef the twa former. 

On this the lieutenant, an old and expe- 
rienced faflor,lookedfonie what blank, and 
delired that the captain would inftantly 
call a council of war. Gentlemen, fays* 
he, the many captures we have lately 
made could not fail of informing oup 
enemies that .we are in thefe feas ; and 
I apprehend, with great reafon, that they 
have made chcHce of their beft means ta 
over-reach and over-match us, and to fall 
with their united forces upon us. And 
indeed ye may already perceive, that the 
iup which we had in chace has Ihorten- 
ed fail, and waits to be joined by hep 
two- conlbrts, whom Ihe feemed fo lately 
to fear. I think, as the Jockeys fay, that 
wc have more than foot tor them ; and all 
the queftion is, whether Old England 
flialt make ufe of her feet to fly, while 
ftc has any hands left wherewith fhemay 
ight i At tliis they cried, with one voice. 

No 



t&2 The pool o( qUALfTT. 

No flying ! no flying ! let thanx come oir^ 
tht circumclicd dogs, 2s aiany as may te 
of them; we will neither take nor give 
quarter, they or we muft to the bottom ! 
To work then, my brave lads ! criei 
Captain Jenkins, for we are likely t» 
have as warm a bout of it as we could 
wiih* 

To buftle went all b^nds. We had 
a dear fliip in a moment; and, for the- 
firft time, ftowed our hammocks in the 
nettings. The captain then chufing » 
dozen of the beft markfmen, he difpoied, 
them in the tops, with flrict orders to 
direct their fire onfy at thofe who appeared 
to be officers. 

Our ihip at this time was full'manned 
with about two hundred and feventy fpt- 
rits, a}l as ready and defirous to go and 
meet death as a beau to go to a bail,' oc 
an sdderman iQ a feaft. 

The three conforts were now joined, a^ 
our mate had forefeen, and bore dowft 
Wpon us, right before the wind ; and 
t)ien it was that my (ins came croqd-: 
ing into my mind, and I believe I was-. 
the only peribn of the (hip's company who- 
trembled. 

They all came up with a defperate 
boldncls ; and while one attacked us on 
^ur bow, a fecond lay upon our quarter, 

while 



J 



TfeKi FOOL OF C^AEITY. i<% 

while ti^ third bore awav tiader our 
ftern^ and raked us fore and aft with her 
vtrlicrfe broadfide; nor were we idle ia 
kbe mean time, but [died our guns with* 
fijch fpiiit and fuccefs a& ibon obliged 
tbem to fheer off. 

Our Ihip was of Engliflt oak, and 
Aood their {hot to a wonder ; our metat 
Was alfo much weightier than theirs f but 
khcn they outnum^red us three to one». 
ill men and in guns. 

Having got out of the reach of our 
Qwt^ they moved off, as intending to 
make their efcape ; but, having repaired 
their damage, as well as time would al- 
low, they returned upon us with two* 
fold refolution and fury. 

- Then it was. Gentlemen,, that fucb a 
ftene was opened, aa was fufficient to 
ftrike hell itfdf with horror. 

They now entertained us with a new 
kind of warfare. For, getting up withia 
ptftol-lhot, they tofied ther granadoes or 
aand-fhells amouK us, that were filled 
with broken bottles, and with rufty and 
lagged pieces of old iron. Tlxefe did 
fearful execution, and our deck was 
quickly covered with Uood and brainy, 
and pieces of human flefh, while the 
Boiie of the cannon could fcarccly drown 

Ihe 



i&f The fool ot QUALITY. 

the fcreams of the wounded^ auid the 
groans of the (fying* 

In this defperate iituation we loaded all 
our guns with grape-fhot, which made fuciv 
ha vock among our enemies as obliged twa 
of them to meer away again as faft as 
tbey could, while the third kept playing 
upon us at a diftance, till we forced her 
alfo to follow her conforts. 

We now had leifure to ele»' our deck^ 
and, with forrowful h<rarts, threw our dead- 
companions overboard. 

Having once more fet all ta rights^- 
we bore down on all three; but they 
crouded away from, usy maintaining » 
running fight with their flern-chace ;- 
and as they levelled their fliot almoft- 
whoUy at our rigging, by evening wc- 
were mcapable of furtner purfuit. 

Mean while we had plied them witk 
our cannon fb well, that,, as it began to' 
wax duikifh, we perceived the crtw of the 
hindmoft in much confufion, andmakinj^ 
fignals of diftrefs to their conlbrts. Soon 
after we faw them heave out their boaty 
and they had Icarce crouded into her, when 
their Ihip went down. Hereon we gave a< 
^eat fliout, which we repeated on fee- 
ing their boat overfet. But, as the 
Moors are excellent fv^immers, I fup- 
Vo(c moil ( f them got fafe, and were 

taken 



The fool of qUALITT. 1^5 

taken In by their companions. In the 
mean fpace our moft gallant Captain 
Jenkins had his right leg and thigh car- 
ried off by a cannon-fhot $ I think it 
was the laft ihot the enemy fired. 
' As I flood by my Captain's fide» I 
catched him in my arms before he fell 
to the board, and cried out for the fur- 
geons ; but the effufion of blood was fo 
great, and fo impoilible to be ftanched, 
that we quickly defpaired of any life for 
lam. 

As I fupported him on deck with my 
Tight arm, he found himfelf growing 
famt, and turned his face to me. David, 
iaid he, I am not afraid to die, for I am a 
Chriilian. I believe, as furely as I am 
liere, that Chrift came into the world to 
^ve finners, of whom I am chief; and 
he is fo great and fo gracious, that he 
>will not fuffer hell or the grave to dif- 
^appoint him of an end for which he paid 
fo dear a price. Here, my David, here 
is my purfe and my watch, which I be- 
queath to your love as my laft legacy ; 
and here is my diamond ring with which 
I entruft you, as a token to my dear 
daughter, if ever it fliall be your fortune 
to reviiit Old England. And if you 
Ihould go to London, my dear David, 
inquire out my good old fritud, Alderr 



%S6 The FOOL of QUALITY. 

man Bicker ; tell him of my befaavkmr 
during your fervicc with me, and that I 
befeecn him to ufe his mtereft with our 
ProteAor, in procuring my pay for mj 
poor fweet chUd* 

And that I wiD, right heartily, cried 
out Sir Thomas. I will alfo fpeak i 
word for yourfelf, my lad ; the Proteftor 
cannot refufe his favour to one who hu 
had the honour of fervins in the aAiott 
of the Centurion, whofe rune .our yery 
enemies have fpread through Europck 
But, pray, proceed in yonr narration } I 
long to near the event of fo iaterefting 
a feene. 

Though we greatly grieved for our 
captain, we were ilill more concerned 
for the honour of England, left our good 
ihip fhould fall into the hands of the. 
barbarians. For Ihe now lay like a hulk 
on the face of the water. She could nei- 
ther purfue nor avoid an enemy; and, 
though fhe 'had been in plight, we had 
not hands left fofficient to work her. 

Night came on apace, hoftilities ceafed 
on both fides ; the pirates hung out lights 
to prevent, as we fuppofed, their parting 
from each other ; and we mounifoUy 
called a mufter of our men, in the dark ; 
whereon we found that,^ of two hundred 
and ieventy odd men, *wc had but fifty 

remaining, 



Tke fool o qOALITT. 1^7 

remaining, twenty of whom were wound- 
edy though not difabled. 

Come^my lads, cried the old Lieutenant^ 
ft is as good to be merry as fad. We have 
worked enough to-^ay to give us an ap- 
pedtc. Let us have £bmething to eat, 
tnd a bowl -of punch ; aqd, if we die by 
momingy let us not die with cold hearts 
ft&d empty ftomachs. Moreover, for your 
CQcouragement, I take upon me to pro« 
mifey that, if you will be guided, I will 
makt you mafters of one of yonder vef* 
ibis berore funrife. 

We engaged compliance to a tittle; 
and accordingly, after we had refrefhed 
earfelves pleatifuUy, he ordered our boats 
to be heaved overboard, and let drive with 
the wind. We then fet our watch, and 
went down to take a few hours repofe. 

Two hours before day we were roufed by 
the Lieutenant, and the llrft thing we did 
was to bore a large hole in the fide of our 
Ihip^ about a foot below water, fbr which 
we had an occafional plug prepared. 

*A8 foon as the day dawned, we fct 
Wrtches to give us timely notice of the 
eaemies approach } and then lay down on 
ow fmali arms, out of obfervation. 

The pk*ates, as we prefumed, held up 
their glaffes; but, feeing neither men nor 
boats in our fliip, they concluded that 



(- 



c^B The FOOL of qUALITY. 

we had made an elopement by niglity 
and came on without precaution or pre- 
paration. 

As foon as they had arrived withia 
about half a league^ our watchmen, ac- 
cording to order, drew forth the plo|^ 
and, cree|nng upon deck, crouched down 
with us. 

The ccHiforts had agreed to board our 
ihip on each fide, in confidence of a 
lien and unrefifting prize. But the mo- 
ment Uiat we heard the firfi of them 
rutUing along->fide, and perceived that 
they were beginning to get up our fidc^ 
we jumped up, as one man, and fettiiU| 
up a great Ihout, and overturning w 
we met, leaped into their vefiel. 

Never was amazement like that of tlie 
enemy ! They Icarce made any rdtftance, 
and, in lefs than a minute, not a Moor 
was left upon deck. 

Mean time the other pirate had boarded 
our late vcflel, almoft to a man. They had 
heard, indeed, the ihout, with the cla- 
mour and groans of their fellows, but did 
not rightly know what to make of it i 
till, moving clofe round the head of our 
former (hip, we (hot the £ew who were 
left in the fecond frigate ; then, throwing 
out our grapplings, we towed her ofi, 

and 



The fool of qUALlTY. 1^9 

and then bored and funk her in Cbe face 
<^ her owners* 

They thereupon fet up fuch a yell 
of dc^ir and horror as was iSc&ing^ 
even to the hearts of their enemies. At 
length they turned the cannon of the 
Centurion Upon us, butwefoon got out 
of reach of tiieir (hot; and by the time 
we were about three leagues from them, 
we fiiw our good ^Centurion go to the 
^bottom, the glorious tomb of her noble 
captadn. 

We now thought thlt, df about a thou- 
iknd aflailants, there was not one left to 
carry tidings to their native country of 
their defeat. But, going down to the 
ftate-cabin, I faw a young man richly 
drefled,. and of a noble afpe€l, leaning 
wounded upon a couch, with three at- 
tendants about him. 

As I entered, he gave me a look liiat 
feemed compounded of apprehcnfion and 
courage, and aceofted me in broken Eng- 
bfli, for he had travelled much, and re- 
fidcd for a feafon in London. 

-I know, faid he, that 1 am your pri- 
ibner ; I alfo know what I am to expeft. 
Draw your cutlafs then, and let me join 
my countrymen ! No, Sir, I replied, you 
have nothing to fear from me. A man, 
who deferves that name, owes nothing 

Vou m. H WX- 



172 The FOOL of qUALITT* 

ken by fome Englifh fliip of force^ tc 
which we might fafdy confide ourfdves 
and our treafures. 

On the fixth morning, having arrived 
within twenty leagues of the mouth, the 
day difcovered to us, that we were almoft 
within ihot of a fliip that carried Engliih 
colours* Hereat we rdoiced vrith exceed- 
ing ereat joy, and llackening our fail, 
and heaving out a (mall boat, ten of us 
flipt into it, and away we rowed with ill 
our might. As we approached, we faw 
numbers, in Engliih drefies, wsdking to 
2ind again on deck ; and, geCting along- 
tide, they threw ropes ovjtr to us, and 
vc mounted with grer4t alacrity. 

Hitherto we were fo intoxicated with 
joy, that we had not the precaution to 
hail them, till we found ourfelves in the 
very thick of our enemies. I looked 
round, and, feeing none but tawny and 
hoflilc faces about me, I civilly demand- 
ed who, and of what country they were ; 
when a rufiian, gathering his fpittle, fpirt- 
ed it full in my face, and, at the fame 
time, gave me a buffet on the fide of my 
check. Then I did not once reflect a- 
thcr where or among whom I was, but, 
with one ilrcke of my fift, I firetchcd 
him flat upon the deck: Then throw- 
ing up the heels of another who had 

raifcd 



The pool of qjJALlTY. 173 

r^ifed his arm againft me, he fdl^ with 
his head foremoft acrofs his fellow y and 
twiftifig round on a third, who had dd" 
zed me behind by the ihoulder, I drag- 
ged him under me, and we fell together 
upon the board. Here a croud of them 

fathered over me, and, each helping to 
old a leg or an arn^ I was bound with- 
cords that cruihed my flelh- to the very 
bone, and then tumbled with kicks, like 
a dog, along the deck. 

Mean time my nine companions who 
had offered to interpofe, were alfo feized 
and bound, and caft into the hold. 

For about three houis I lay in excefllve 
adguiih, though, through a^ fort of ftub- 
born pride, I endeavoured tofupprefs my 
ffToans. In the interim I felt the fhip 
begin to move, and foon after I perceived 
all in a bulHe about me. Again I heard^ 
from within and without, feveral dif- 
charges of (hiall arms, and as I faw 
federal Moors fall lifelefs or convulfed 
and biting the deck around me^ I rightly 
concluded that the ihips were engaged* 
I gave a long and deep groan, and I 
cried aloud, O, my countrymen ! my 
brave countrymen ! why am I not with 
you? why have I not the happinefs of 
dying with you and for you? and my 

H 3 heart 



* ■■, 



T74 The FOOL Vr qUALITf^ 

lieart was fo wrung that I fainted quifc 

away. 

1 afterwards learned, that my true and 
valiant fellows had refufed to liibmit up- 
nn fummons: That the pirate, feeiiqp 
them fo few, and being defirous of faving 
the frigate for then- own ufe, had attack- 
ed them with fmall arms, which were 
warmly anfwered on our part ; whee, 
having dropped or difabled above half 
of our brave English, with two of Of- 
myn's attendants who happened to be up- 
on deck, they entered and mcrcilefsly 
butchered the remainder^ among whofll 
was our old mate and furgeon. 

Mean time I lay infeniible to all thit 
palUd, till a ruffian, feeing me pale and 
lifelefe, in all appearance, gave me t 
wring by the nofe. Hereupon I awaked 
to the bittereft fcnfations. I remembered 
me of my gallant meflinates, who had f& 
loved and carefled me above my merits \ 
and my tears, without figh or groan^ went 
in ftreams down my cheeks. 

At length I heard a voice, a knowtt 
voice, as I thought, crying. Where is my 
friend, where is my brother David ? and 
taming my head a little, I faw my noble 
'Ofmyn juft entering the (hip. 

O, Gentlemen! be not apt to Judge 
hardly of all who have not learned (Jhrii^ 

by 



E FOOL OF QJJAtlTY. 175; 

hy the form and by the letter. Ofmyn, 
my Ofmyn proves, that he may be in the 
heart of thofe who never acknowledged 
his name, although they have, felt his 
power. And indeed, as the apoftle writes, 
thofe who never learned his law, yet, 
having his law, or rather himfelf, in their 
hearts, fhall be juftifid. 

Having inftantly caft an eye of fearch- 
ing love around, he 'fpied where I lay,, 
and coming and throwing himfelf befide 
me, he put one arm about, and cried, 
O, my brother ! my brother David ! is it 
thus that my people ufe you ? I grieve, 
that you Chriftians (hould beat us all 
to nothing in honour and humanity. He 
then took out his knife, and, havin<»; 
tenderly cut my cords, he ftrained his^ 
6wn ability to help me to rife. 

He then called for the captain, who 
flame bowing to him with great refpecl. 
Their difcourfe was long and earneft. At 
length Ofmyn rofe high in paifion, and 
'|;ave the captain a back firoke with his 
mod acrofs the face. I obi'erved his cho- 
ler fwelHtig, almoft to fufFocation ; but 
hefuppreffed his indignation, and retired 
in filchce. I heard Ofmyn then giving, 
fomc orders to the men; but, as I was 
a ftranger to their language, I knew not 
the purport of any thing that paflcd. 

H 4. Soo^ 



n6 The FOOL of qUALlTY. 

Soon after^ however^ I faw mv nine com- 
) anions brought froni the hold,, and un- 
bound. And Olniyn, turning te me, 
defired me to tell, my people, that thej 
vere all free, and that as foon as we land- 
ed in Barbary, he v^ould take the firft 
means of fending them with honour to^ 
their native country*. Ah ! my Lord, 
I cricd^ I am forry that you firuck the 
captain ^ he has many adherents here, and 
will certainly feek fome method of re-- 
\engt. He dare not, he dare not, re- 
plied my friend ; the villain would have 
difputed with me the property of my 
own frigate, which I manned and fitted 
out at my own expence. But if I bear 
or ice any more of his infolence, as fboB 
as we land, I will complain to the De/ 
my uncle,, and. have the rogue impaled 
alive. 

He then ordered out the Ioffg-boat» 
and, turnine to me, iaid, L am goin|r 
David, to t^^e an account of what effecto 
are left in my ihip; and I would take 
you with me if you were in a cooditioa 
to go; but I will foon return, and, in 
the mean time, order the furgeon to do 
his beft for allaying the fwelling in your 
L'mb^* 

During his abfence, the fhip's compa^^ 
By, and even tlie captain, wbofe name 

was: 



The fool of qUALITY. 177 

tiiras Barbar,' behaved themfelves toward 
ftie and my fellows with great, though 
Slent', civility ; ami a plentiful mefs was 
Served up to us for dinner. But during 
dur repaft I obfervedj that the captain 
called fuch and* fuch of his men to 
the quarter-deck, where he held' with 
&em a long, and whifpering; kind of cod-- 
Vcrfation.- 

Thefe fellows, as it fcems, wefe tlie' 

tiioft barbarous and bloody of all their 

Wbarous and' bloody cbuntrymien. Ha- 

ning taken the fliip wherein we then were, 

a merchantman, carrying about twenty 

guns, thiey had maflacred every creatut-e 

on board, and then drefled themfelve^ in 

tfie cloatbs of the Englifh, in order to 

inveigle others into the like calamity ; 

Irhile they difpatched their own frigate 

back to Tunis to get recruits. 

My noble friend did not return till late 
iii the evening.. He then ordered fupper 
to be got ready, and the ftate-cabin to be 
]hvpared for him and me to lie in ; but I 
l^hUpered and befought him to excufe me 
far declining that honour, as I perceived 
dkat the favours which he did me, had 
already given much umbrage and offence 
to his countrymen. 

I know not whence, or for what piir- 
pofe^ forebodings may come j but all 

H 5' tlu*. 



178 The FOOL of QIJALITY. 

til at night, my fpirits were exceedingT; 
fad and depreffed ; and though my fellowi 
and I were put to lie in a part of the ihip 
the mofl remote from my friend, yet) 
imagined that I heard fecret treadings 
and mutterings; and again, at dead ol 
Tiight, that I heard the dillant foisnd oi 
trampling and ftiiaggling, as of people in 
(loing and receiving violence. 

I was flill fore from tlie tyings and 
the bruifes which I had received > wheHi 
toward the end oF a flecplefs night,, a 
gang of armed ruflians entered the place 
where we lay, and loaded us with irons. 
They then took away all 6ur cloaths and 
treafuics, and threw to each of us a 
canvas ihirt and drawers, as ilaves pre- 
pared for the market. 

7 he moment they laid their hands up- 
on me^ it occurred that they would not 
have dared to do it, if they had not firil 
made away with my dear friend and p* 
ti on ; at which thought my foul gtev 
inltantly iick, and a dark cloud of forrov 
fell heavily upon it. 

Sore and fhackled as ' I was, I get iin 
mediately on deck, and looked wififulh 
out to fea, but could difcover no frigaU 
I then fliufHed along as faft as I could t 
the cabin, where I had parted the night b( 
i^it "vith mj Qfm^JD^ and looking in a 

th 



The fool of qjTALITT. 179* 

idle door, I cried aloud, Where are you. 
Lord Ofmyn,. where are you, my mafter! 
my friend ! my dear Oiinyn ! where are- x 
•yoUy^ where ar j you ?^ ^ 

When no anfwer could be h^d, I r^-* 
turned wild with rage and grief,- and' 
notwithftanding my chains, had I not 
been difabled by my contufions, I Ihould 
have done my bed to throttle every man 
I met. But all I could do was to wring 
my hands, and roar aloud to all around. 
Ye butchers ! ye cut- throats ! ye villains 
of all villains! what have ye done with your 
Lord, wh. t have you done with your 
mafter, wh it have yc done with my friend^ 
with my Ofnyn, my Ofmyn ? 

For two nights and two days I tafted 
sothing but water, which I drank in large 
qiliantiti&s, as my foul, as well as body, 
was in a ferment and a fever. On the 
tiiird- day^> the captain fearing that I 
would die of grief, and that he ihould 
fefe what he propofed to get by my fale, 
fbnt a kind of interpreter to me, to let 
me know that on the night in which I 

grted with Ofmynj, he and the captain 
)n after had fome warm words concern- 
Big their rights in the frigate, and in the 
EngUihnow on board; whereupon Ofmyn 
iwore, that he would no^ remain any 
longer in his fhip ; and that, taking 
^viu hina a number of hands, Vi^ t^- 



iBo The FOOL of qUALlTY. 

imbarkcd in. the frigate,, and dicecQ^ 
let fail. 

As this tale carried witfi it fome ha 
of a faA, I grew eafier in roy mind ; and, 
on the.very day following, having anchor- 
ed in the bay of Alciers, my fellows and 
I were, taken into Uie town, and fold at 
public maricet* 

I happened to Be bought by one of tlie 
"Dcy's faAors, wJio immediately fent mc 
to work at his country-palace. 

This work was a mou ftupcndaus- uo* 
dertaking. Above five hundred men-had 
been daily employed in it for two jCM 
paft, and yet a third of it was not done 
when I amved. 

A large lawn extended itfelf in the 
front of the palace,, and here the Dey 
had ordered a great canal to be dug, aaa 
from its excavation a mount to be raiicdt 
whofe bafe meafured three hundred yards 
in circumference. The afcent was eafy 
and fpiral,, much refembling the prints 
you have feen of the tower of Babd- 
The border of this afcent was. adorned all 
the way witKlofty cedars interlaced with aS 
forts of aromatic and flowering IhrubSi 
and from the top^ before I left it, was to 
be fccn the bay, the ffiippins;, the city> 
and country all' around, while diftasC 
Bioun tains on the one h^jd, and an est 

tCBt 



The fool oe qUALITY. i8i 

tent of ocean on. the other, alone bound*' 
ed the profpe<ffe.. 

You will think it very extraordinary^ 
Gentlemen, when I aiTure you, that, till T 
was ia a ftate of flavery, my mind never 
was free.^ Hitherto I had been the ilave 
of fia, and of appetite, of padions, and 
of fears.- But here I counted to fet up 
my xefl for life; I had no parents, no 
wealthy kindred, no friend upon earth, 
to whom I might look fpr a pennyworth 
af ranfom- There, was therefore no 
fiirther profpect for me, there was no* 
thing further left to excite my defire or 
to excite my concern ; and Lfunk gradu* 
ally, as it were, down into the peace of 
my own nothingnefs. 

I had been lately the poffeflbr of the 
value of fbme thou&nds,^ and now I had 
not wherewithal to purchafe a-morfel of 
bread. 3ut I looked back on the many 
icenes of my very many wickedneffes, and 
I did not look up to, but looked down 
before, my God, and cried. Not enough, 
it is not yet enough, O Lord ! fomething 
iharper,,fomething heavier! fomepuniih-> 
ment that may expiate and reconcile me 
to my God ! 

One night, as L lay on my bed* of 
ftubble, I looked up to God, through 

tt!te. cloud of my own ijiiquitiesi and iaid^ 

la 



iJ2 The fool ar qUALITY^ 

In life, O my Lord, lay what thou pica* 
feft upon me, but in the hour of deatlr, 
fave, fave me from* the judgment ! Where*- 
upon fomethi ng within me faidv Fear not, 
thou vile wretch', fear not,- thou- worm 
David^ for nothing (hall be able to pluck 
thee out of my hands. This gave me 
great confolation, and confolatiorr was 
followed by peace, and peace was foH 
lowed by pleafure ; infonvuch that I 
poiTeided more tff the fweetnels of heart- 
felt enjoyment, than came to the flare 
of twenty fenfualifts.- 

The Dey or regent then being was caT- 
led Ali Eben Buchar. * He was a great 
warrior, and yet a man of an amiable 
character, which is rarely the cafe witb 
Mooriih governors. He had been at 
Conftantinople when I was enflaved ; andr 
on his return, he was fofolicitoully en* 
gaged in matters of ftatei that he was 
not at Icifure to come and fee our works*. 
Toward the end of the fecond year ^ 
my fcrvitude, he arrived witlvapbmpoi^ 
train ^ He was a; portly and cotoely p^^ 
fonagc, though his complexion was^ 
deep olive. He expreffed high deligl 
on furveying what we had done y- and b 
©rdered a feftival of three days to b 
proclaimed for his labourers, with fporte 
martial exercifes, and prists for the vie 
torsr 

Grea 



^ 



The fool of qUALTTY. 163 

Great preparations wei'C made for this 
entertainment. In a plain, on the k(t of 
the palace, a fquare of half a mile dia^ 
meter was inclofed with pales ; withia 
which none were permitted to enter^ favc: 
ihc Dey and his train, with thofc who la* 
jboured in his feveral works, amounting 
to about a thoufand men. On one fide, 
within the pales, a throne was erefted 
with two feats, and lower benches were 
placed on either hand. 

Early on the morning of the firft ap- 
pointed day, the fcftival was opened by 
the found of trumpets and horns^ and 
other m!irtial inilruments. 

It bad been a cuflom, among us of th^ 
fcbourcrs who were young and active, 
when the day's work was over, to divert 
Mr fellows with various exercifes and 
feats^ fuch as wreftling, running, leap- 
ing, and toiling or trundling leaden balls,, 
and fo fortli j I was, thcFcfore, up among 
the fooneft, in hopes of diiHnguilhing 
Aiyfelf on the occafion. 

By the dawning, the city was emptied 
of its inhabitants, and crouds came on 
«iftcr crouds, from all parts of the coun- 
try, fo that the pales were foon circled 
^y an mnumerable concourfe. 

Then came Ali, with his attendants, 
^nd, entering the pale, afcended his 

throne^ 



i84 The FOOL of qtfALITT. 

throne, while his courtiers and guards 
arranged themfelves behind. 

Then were exalted, oa poles, the pri- 
ses that were to be given to fuch of the 
flaves^ or labourers, as excelled in tofliQg 
the javelin, or in hitting a diftant man 
with the bow or with the fling. But, as 
I had not been pra<^ired in thefe matters, 
I contented myfelF, for this day, wilt 
being a fpeclator. Some of the candi- 
dates, on this ocicafion, were extremdy 
expert, and would fend an arrow or fliDg- 
a ftone more dire^y to the mark than* 
any European could flioot a mulket-bul- 
let ; accordingly the generous Ali adid^ 
freolom to the prizes which they had 
won, and fmmediately preferred them* 
among his troops. 

After thisy Ali, to entertain his pciK 
pie, ordered a dozen of his courtierd to 
run at the ring. Immediately a number 
of neighing needs, richly caparifoned,- 
were led by lackeys into the Ufts. The 
young nobles, without flirrup or faddfey 
vaulted lightly into their feats, and turft- 
ing and winding their fiery horfes with 
wonderful command and addrefs, ga^c- 
tgh delight to the fpedators. Eachdf 
them then caught a javelin which was 
tofied to him by an attendant ; and, fit- 
ting out^ fucceiiivcly, almoft at their 



The FOQL of quALIxr. i% 

^ed, three of themi, m mid courfe^, 
bore off a fmall ring of iMrafs, from, the 
diread; by which it hung,, on the point of 
his lanoe. 

After this^ ^fUti, a great number of 
burlefque comedians entered the pale», 
in order to a<% one of their African drolls 
er pantomimes y fome of them represent- 
ed men, fome tygers^ lions, and beai^s ;. 
ethers gholts^ and others gpblins. But I 
could niake nothing of fuch ^ jumble- 
ment of intention, although it gave great 
diverfioa to the populace^ And thus endr 
ed the fports of the prefent day*. 

While the people retired homeward^,, 
feveral waggons were drawn in,, heavy 
hden Mrith vifluals and cooling liquors^ 
wherewith all the flaves and labourer^. 
Were plentifully regaled. 

The fccond day was ufliered in with 
the like pomp- as tlie former ;. and prizes^ 
were fet up for lifting the weight, for 
toffing the coit, and for pitching the bar. 

At a little, diftance from, the front of 
die throne, a ring was fsiftened to a l^^d^ 
ea mafs, . that weighed about five hundred 
pounds, and above fifty adventurers fuc- 
ccffively attempted to lift, but not a man. 
of them, could move it. 1 then advan-^ 
«cd, bowing lowly toward the throne, and 
patting my right hand in the ring, and 

exerting 



xW The FOOL tfF qVAhlTf. \ 

exerting my powers, I raifed it fM!f 
from the ground, whereupon a great flioaC 
was fuddenly given by all my compani- 
ons who worked with me at the mounti 
Hereupon a black came tip, of Hercule- 
an bulk and brawn, and, defiring thit 
fifty pounds more (hould be added to this 
lead, he irued and fwung them in the ur 
with apparent eafe, and the prize was ac- 
cordingly adjudged to him* 

A large iron coit was then giveftitothc 
competitors, and about a dozen of died* 
toiled it to a diilance that was thougbl 
extraordinary. I then took it up, and 
threw it three foot beyond the furtheftr 
But again, the black flave came up, whi 
Was not of our company, and tofled it 
two foot beyond my caft, and confer 
quently achieved the iecond prize. 

A long and mailive bar was then pre* 
fented to us, but all refufed to take it ift 
luiid, till the iaiiie black fcized it, and, 
putting one end to his foot, pitched it of 
to a diftance that raifed a cry of adruira^ 
tion. I then took my turn, and giving 
my whole ftrength and aAion to this fio* 
gle caft, I pitched it fdme inches beyond 
the throw of my rival, whereupon and- 
ther ihout was given and repeated. 'Ih^ 
black then was wholly enflamed by envy 
and reientmeot, and reclaiming ihe b^^*' 

an<i 



tuE FOOL at qUALITY. iffy 

'ind exerting all hts force, he threw it tb> 
a length, that, on admeafurement, wa& 
fudged to eiceed my caft, and he proud- 
ly laid hold on the third prize* 

The gfeat Ali then ordered me to be 
brought before him. I went, and, bend- 
ing on my knee, laid my head to the 
earth. Rife, faid he ; I obeyed, and he 
■furveyed me with long and earneft atten- 
tion. Young man, he cried, you have 
been this day fomething unfortunate, but 
you have not the lefs merit ; put this ring 
on your finger, it difcharges you hence- 
forth from all kind of labour ; but it 
does not enfranchife you, becaufe, for 
ithc prefent, I do not chufe to part with 
you. I rcfpeclfulljr took the ring, and, 
again bowing to the ground, retired in 
filence. 

A tournament of the young nobles 
then enfued, wherein great feats of ac- 
lion and prowefs were mewn. And the 
day ended with another droll to which I 
ptve no heed. 

The morning of the third day was 
opened as ufual, and prizes were exhibit- 
ed for wrcftling, for running, and for 
leaping. 

Immediately the black champion ftep- 
ped formidably forth, and challenged 
any to approach, who defired to be crufli- 

ed 



ras The FOOL OF QJJALITY. 

ed to death, but not a man accepted tUi 
charitable invitation. Unwilling^ ibxA, 
that this boafter fliould carry off the 
prize without a conteft, I ftepped finosi 
xny rank, depending more upon action 
than force to cope with him. We bath 
ilripped to our canvas drawers, and bii 
looks and geftures menaced me with iop 
itant deitruclion. I advanced however 
to effay him, and he ftretched his am 
toward me, as a vulture would reach lot 
p^^unces to Wxzc upon a chicken ; whcoy 
fpi'inging inilantiy up to him, I put » 
hand upon each of his (houlders, audi 
vaulting lightly over his head, I turned 
nimbly upon him, threw up his heefa^ 
and laid bim at his length on the earth. 

As the contraft of our colours had reo* 
dcred us remarkable to all the fpectatori} 
a ihout was fet up that rent the very 
elements. But the Black arofe, androap 
cd aloud, with his lion-like voice, for jUf 
ilice; and the judges, on weighing the nut- 
ter, appointed me to another tiiai, for* 
bidding further fraud. 

Agam we prepared to engage, and 
a^ain my black adverfarv ftretched fortk 
his arms, with eyes nafhing fire, aad 
features diftorted with rage ; when re- 
tiring from him, as if difmayed, I (hot 
forward like lightning, and fpringing 



The fool of qUALITY. 189 

oita the groHnd, I pitched the whole 
eight of my body into his bofom. 
his ftaggered Irim fome fieps backward, 
hen continuing to prefs upon him, I 
Kt one foot behind, and he fell under 
65 with a horrible iquelch, upon the 
ad; and dafhing my hand againft his 
rehead^ 1 fprung up lightly on my 
rt. 

Here the people repeated their cla- 
cmrs, which were echoed for a long 
ace from fide to fide ; while I pro- 
ifed to the judges, that if my rival was 
it yet fatisfied, I would give him the 
her venture. But the Black was fo far 
om bdng in plight for a third engage- 
icnt, that he could not rife without help 
[| either hand ; and the prize, being a 
De turban with a diamond button, was 
ut upon my head. 

The competitors for the race then 
sune from among the croud, being fif- 
cm in number, lightly equipt for the 
mrpofe ; and I alfo put on a thin canvas 
vaiftcoat that came clofe to my body. 

In the front of the throne, a long 
nAc was fet up, from whence we were tof 
lart ; and another pole was erefted on 
he further fide, round which we were to 
"un, and fo return to the poft fron) whenc^ 
»c fet out. 

We 



1 



ifo The fool of qjJALITT* 

We were all arranged in a. line, aad 
All himfelf was to give the word, whca 
one of our fellows, either thinking or 
pretending to think that the word vat 
given, fiarted away, the reft followed, ani 
1 was left alone, quietly fianding by the 
poft. Why do not you fet out ? Sid Ali; 
when your Highnefs (hall be pleafed to 
give the word. Away, then ! he cricdt. 
and away I fprung. 

As I found that I was gathering tbcm 
up very fafi, I f^fpendcd my fpe^, and 
lingered behind the hindmoft, till thcj 
had all turned the poft, and extended in 
a. long line before me. I then fiarted 
away, and pafled one, and then anocher, 
till, having pafled them all, I left the 
foremoft at a diftance behind me, and 
feized the goal ; whereon Ali himfdf 
p:ave a cry of admiration, which was an* j 
(wered from all fides by all his people. 

I was then prefented with a velvet 
tunic embroidered with gold ; and fome 
fmaller matters were given to the two who 
came next to me in fpeed. 

The candidates for the third prize then 
r.^fe from the ground where they had fit 
to repofe themfelves j for they were 
the fame perfons who had been compe* 
t'tors in the race. A fcarlet girdle was 
ft^'ctched along the grafs, ai» a mark froin 

whence 



^^^nce the riv^s^ere to fet off on their' 
1«P- And €;4fth of thenj. took a run, till 
they came to the appointed limit, and 
ttifa fprung forward with their utmofi: 
afflity.. 

J^ thif jL Qf all otK^rs, was the article 
d:, bpdUy e2le^ci& whereia I excelled, 
I ftood 1^^ 2^s an uocpncerned fpe^ator, 
t^l the cnateft wa^ over. I then meaAired 
^th niy eye the lei^th they had paffed, 
TMen,. t^iQg two. 9>en, I fet them in- 
mjid'fpacc^ and' placing a pole upon thdr 
^e^s, I took a rati, and throwing myielf 
head foreimoft over the pole, I turned in 
the air^ and alighted fix inches beyond 
the furtheft leap ; whereupon I was pre- 
iCentcd with a collar adorned with gexns of 
great Uiftre. 

AU then, ordered two troops of his 
fighteft horfe to come forward. Accord- 
ingly they entered the pale, and, dividing, 
4liey retired to oppoiite fides of the lifts. 
The. popula^ic then fell back and cleared 
the intermediate fpace, and the young of-? 
(cer8 fet. forward, on a half-gallop, at the 
U9iA of tbeiv troops. 

Nc;vcr did I fee fiich aftion, fuch horfe- 
QMifl^p. The officers, as they rode fwifti 
ly forward, would tofs their lances aloft, 
and thett catch them in mid-air ; and 
agsua they would ca& them to a diftance 

before 



193 The POOL of qUALlTT. 

before them, and, fiooping, ta^e then 
from the ground in the midft e£ thdr 
fpeed. 

The troops then met, as (hoidd feem, 
in mortal oppofition ; and breaking thdr 
frail lances againft each other, the^ drew 
the wooden labres, and each, paffing his 
adverfary, gave a back ftroke to his neck 
with fuch force and agility as was tmly 
alarmingr Their ranks then appeared 
to be broken on either part. And, in- 
ftantly forming themfelves into littk 
rhombs, or fquares, or wedges, thcf 
fought and mixed together, as m a coun- 
try-dance, with the moft regular confih 
iion that ever was beheld. 

This was jufily delightful to all die 
fpectators ; and I regretted their dq)ar- 
turc, for the ridiculous entrance of t 
third pantomime. 

While this droll was preparing, I it- 
ceived an order from All, to drefs myfetf 
in the prizes which I had won, and to at- 
tend him* 

I obeyed, and prefented myfdf befoit 
him. What is your name, young man^ 
David, fo pleafe your Highnefs. Are yott 
of Chrift or of Mahomet, David ? Mf 
will is with Chrift, fo pleafe you ; but, 
while I confefs him with my lips, my 
whole life lias denied him. Thon, David, 

if 



Thj5 fool or qUALITY. 193 

if you will but forflike Chrift, and turn 

to Mahomet:, you fhall be the friend 

•f All, and he will heap treafures, and 

titles, and great honours upon you. Ah, 

my Lord ! I cried out^ though I hold my 

Chrift but by a frail and feeble thread, 

yet I would not quit that thread for a 

chain of, golden links, that ihould bind 

the whole wealth of the world to my 

pofleilion. And why would your High- 

He& defire the fervice of a traitor? He 

who proves a traitor to his God, fo pleafe 

you, can never prove true to any mailer. 

Well, David, laid he mildly, we may 

talk of thefe matters hereafter. In the 

mean time, before I do you any grace, 

I ought at leaft to do you juftice. You 

have already received the rewards of your 

valour and your activity, but you have not 

yet received the reward of your obedi- 

«ucc. You w^re the only one, brave 

David, who, at the rilk of your own 

kaour, attended on my word, and here 

I give you an earneil of the recompenfe 

tluc I intend you. 

So faying, he prefented me with a 
large and maflive fabre, whofe handle 
Was ftudded with gems of great value. I 
received it on my knee ; and he then con- 
tinued, Afk me now, David, what fur- 
ther gift you demand, except your dif- 
VoL. Ill, I miflion, 



T94 The FOOL of C^ALITY. 

miillon, and it fliall be granted you, to 
a tenth of the treafure in my coffers. 

When he had fpoken, my ^e was » 
caught by one of his retinue, and imme- 
diately I recoileded the features of the 
pirate Barbar. 

I ii^antly caft myfelf profinite b^ 
fore his throne, and cried akxnd^ Ah, ge^ 
nerous Ali ! may God multiply to yo0 
treafures and bleffings a thouiand-foki! 
I afk none of your treafui^s and poflef' 
iions, O Ali! I only alk the head of 
that traitor, the head of Barbar ; I aik 
but blood for blood : let him reftore to 
me my friend, my brother, my Lord Of- 
myn; he is a murderer, a traitor, and 
fuch I will prove hinv by night or by day, 
by fea or by land ; at any weapons, agaioft 
any odds, I will prove him a traitor. 

While I fpoke, thus impailiQned, all 
about appeared under the utmoil conftcr* 
nation ; and Barbar trembled and turn* 
ed pale, but did not dare to quit bi^ 
Nation. 

Rife, David, faidAli, and tell me what 
friend, what Oimyn thou dofi mean I All 
I know of him, my Lord, is, that his name 
was Ofmyn of Petra, and that he was 
nephew to feme great prince in this part 
of the world. 

Why, 



.1 



T«E FOOL OF QUALITY. 195 

Why, you drcam furely, David, re- 
plied the regent, Oftnyn of Petra was 
my own nephew; and he perilhed, with 
dl his crew^ by the hands of the Englifh* ;. 

He did not perifh by the hands of the 
Engliih^ I <:ried| the Englifli wer6 his 
prefervers, his friends, his attendants, 
and be periflied by the hands of his own 
countrymen, and more especially by the 
hands of this traitor Barbar. 

Well, faid Ali, we have not leiFure, 
ft prefent, to examine into the truth of 
thefe allegations ; Guards, take that Bar- 
bar into fafe and clofe cuftody till we are 
better informed, touching the fads T^ith 
which he is charged. Mean time do 
you, David, follow in my train, for you 
muft take up your lodging with me, this 
night. 

The palace, though it appeared one 
uniform edifice, was divided into two by 
aa impaflable barrier. The one was the 
occafional habitation of Ali and his at- 
tendants : and his wives^ with their eu- 
nuchs, were lodged in the other, where 
it was impalement for any man, fave Ali 
himielf, to enter* 

For three days and nights, after I en- 
tered his palace, though I was treated 
with an attention that gave me much un- 

I 2 ^eafUiefSy 



^9* The FOOL of qUALITY. 

eaiinefs, yet I had not the honour of be- 
ing called to his prefence. 

At length I was conduced by a pri- 
vate door to his cabinet. My friend 
David, {aid he, what haft thou to tell 
me concerning my dear and tn-ave 
nephew Ofmyn ? I then minutely, and 
at large, recited to him the particulars 
above related. And we ihed many tears, 
that were mutually provoked by the tears 
of each other^ 

Havu^ cloied my narration, he caft 
his eyes down a while, as in deep medita- 
tion ; and, raifing them again, he faid, 
The prcfumptions are ftrong, very ftrong 
againfl this man, and yet there is a pol- 
Ability that he may be guildeli. And 
though Ofmyn was my nephew, my blood, 
and almcft my bowels, yet honour, hu- 
manity demands of us, David, that 
nine criminals fliould efcape the punifli-' 
ment tliey deferve, rather than one inno- 
cent perfon fhould periih in his righteouf- 
nefs. But the great Alia may give us 
further lights in this bufinefs. 

In about five days after a convict was 
to be ganched for the rape and murder 
of a free woman. He was to be thrown 
from the top of a high tower, from whof<^ 
walls projected feveral Iharp and Ihagged 
ipftruments, relemblipg hooks, hii:cs, 

tentefs, 



Tmk fool op qUAUTY. t<rf 

tenters, &c. at certain diftances, fome- 
below others. 

He fainted feveral times as he was car- 
rying to execution ; and then being iiv 
an agony, he faid he had a matter of the 
higheft confequence to impart to the great 
Ali, and prayed to be brought direftly 
into his prefence. 

1 was on the fpot when he was led in^ 
and, looking earneftly at him, recolledecl 
that he was the ruffian who had fpit in 
my face, and given me a buffet when I 
entered Barbaras fliipr 

Wretch, cried the Dey^ what hafl thou 
to fay to Ali ? That I am 'guilty, anfwer- 
cd the convift, of crimes more hainous 
aoad capital than that for which I am to' 
faffer ; of crimes that nearly concern your- 
felf, O Ali, but which you fhall never 
know, unlefs you fwear to me, by Ma- 
homet, to mitigate the manner of my 
death. I do fwear it, faid the regent, 
provided the difcovery which you maker 
ihall be found to be of due import. 

He then depofed^ that on the night in? 
which Ofmyn difappeared, the captain,^ 
with ten confederated ruffians, of whom 
he was one, entered the Prince's cabin,, 
and haying muffied the faces of him and 
hb attendant, to prevent their crying, 
^ut, bound them hand and foot, and 

I 3 hcouN^ 



i9» The FOOL ctf qXTALrTY^ 

heaved them through; the window intaa^ 
boat that waited for them: That thea 
getting into the fiigatte, they ooaflacred 
the feyen Moors to whofe care ihe had 
been U£ty and rifling her of all the mo-^ 
ney, and plate^ and valuables they could 
find, they funk the frigate, with. Ofmya 
and his attendant in her^ and then return- 
ed to their own fliip^ 

Here Barbar was fent for, who- was^ 
brought in chains, into the prefence* But,, 
as foon as he fa w the face of the conVift,, 
without waiting to be confronted by 
his evidence,, he rtifhed violently, with 
his head foremoft^ toward the oppofite' 
wall ;. and if a man who was at hand 
had not caught him by the chain, he 
would inilantly have daihed his ikuU to 
ihivers» 

Ali hereqpoB> without further exami* 
nation, ordered the head of the convid: 
to be ftruck off in the morning,, and Bar* 
bar to be impaled in the nice of the 
people. 

Never wj^s joy like mine, on hearing 
this fentenee pronounced againft Barbar;. 
and I rofe early the next morning in or- 
der to have the pleafure of being at his 
execution. 

He was fo enfeebled* by his panics, 
that they wei'e obliged to diaw him oa a 

fledgie 



The pool of QUALITY. 15^^ 

fedge to the {lake> and his countenance 
lad all the ioipreflions of death, defpair, 
lad hell, reprefentdd upon it?. 

This, however, did not affecl me with* 
ihy other fenfation than of that delight 
B^hich is naturally felt on the gratification 
>f revenge, till the executioners, with* 
xnfeeling hearts and Nraerry tauntings, 
t)egan to take the wretch in hand. But^ 
n^ben.I faw them, with difficulty and'- 
great violence, thrufting theftake through 
BIS body, whxli they run up withinfide 
thfc fpinal bone, and fo out at the back of 
bis neck, in order to avoid his bowels, and 
keep him the longer in anguilh ; when^ 
Ifaw hinv writhii^ in agony, and heard 
his horrible roars and groanings, all my 
revenge was quickly turned into terror 
9Dd compailion ; his pangs and fufferings,. 
18 it feemed, were transferred to my own 
berfon, and, had I not turned away, I 
would have fainted on the fpot.- 

The Dey from this time became ex- 
fremely fond of me, and familiar with 
file. He allotted me an affluent peniion,< 
Wth flaves, horfes, and' attendants. He 
feid I fhould be to him in the place of; 
a nejAew, and of a fon, and he called 
nxe by the name of David Ofmyn. 

Some time after, tidings were brought 
that C.ilcd Amu rath of Fez, was ma-- 

I 4 king; 



aoo The TOOL of qUALITT. 

king mighty preparations to invade his 
dominions. We will more than meet 
him half-way^ cried the gallant A\i\ per* 
haps we may even prevent his threaten* 
ed expedition. He then fummoned his 
forces from all quarters. I was prefent 
when be made a general mufter of them. 
His foot were more formidable for their 
numbers than their difcipline; but his 
horfe were perfedly trained, and made a 
mofi brilliant appearance. 

The day before he fet out, I threw my- 
felf at his feet. I will go with you, my 
mailer, 1 will go with you, I cried. I 
will^ not have any command or poft of 
preference or honour ; 1 only defire per- 
miflipn to fight by your fide, that you 
may witnels how greatly I Ihall dare in 
your caufe ; how ready I Ihall be to take, 
to my own bofom, all the weapons that 
fliall be aimed at your bofom, my father! 

N05 David, he replied, my people know 
you are ftill a Chriliian» I could not re- 
frain from fhewing the love I have for 
you ; and that might be matter of jea- 
loufy and difcontent to my captains. I 
will leave you here a band of foldiers, 
with whom you are to encamp within 
fight of my palace, and to keep thefc 
walls from violence, and n.y wom^^^ 
from rolluLion,. But, while you a^^^ 

tl ^ 



The fool of QUALITi\ 20? 

their guardian, beware that you do nc *> 
turn an invader, David! I would p.ir- 
don you any thing but this; I would 
not pardon you the invafiori of niy bedj 
David Ofmyn ! No, my Lord, I cried- 
aloud, I cannot prove ungrateful. Though 
your women were as obvious to my walks^ 
as yonder pavement, and though adorned 
with more graces than their lirft mother 
in paradifcy they fliould have no tempta-^ 
tion for me, my mafter ! 

The next moraing Ali began his march ;• 
aad having efcorted him a piece on his 
way, I returned to my charge. 

That night, as I lay. in my tent, I 
Began to call myfelf to an account. Da- 
vid, faid I to my foul, thou haft now 
gotten preferment, and riches, and ho- 
nours ; thou art, as it were, the fecond 
man in the realm, and all this people 
have thee in high eftimation: but art 
thou the better or the happier man for 
all this, David ? Far otherwife, far other- 
"wife. O frail and vain heart ! thefe gauds 
and thefe glories have taken hold upon 
tlee, and tliey have drawn a painted veil' 
between me and my God. To my. chain, 
and my ftraw, and my nakednefs ! returu 
•nie to them, O Lord: return me to my 
ilavery, return me to my labours! I was 
«ot then, indeed, gaining conquefts and 

I 5 winning^ 



202 Th£ fool of quality. 

winning prizes ; but I waanear to obtaia* 
ing the prize of the high calling. My 
body was not then adorned with gold 
and pearl ; but my fpirit rejoiced in the 
fearl of mighty price. 

In about five weeks after, as I was 
taking, by mooa-light, my evening's walk 
of meditation, on the marble that check- 
ered the pavement Jijefore the palace^ 
Muley, an old black, and chief of the 
eunuchs of the feraglio, came up and.ac- 
cofted me. Ofmyn, faid he, taking a. 
bundle from under hi& arm,, 1. have here 
a prelent for you that would makepi%)ad 
tfie greateft emperor upon earth* It is 
a complete fuit wrou^t purpofdy for 
you by the fingers of the Sultana^ as^ alfo- 
by the fingers of her fair and princdy 
fifters. They have heard of your great 
achievements during the fellival, and they 
fend you this in reward. 

So faying, he unfolded the robes to the 
moon. They were flowered with gold, 
pearl and gems of fuch a vivid luftre aS' 
refiefted her beams with tenfold, bright 
Befs. 

And what is required of me,. Mailey,^ 
T demanded, in return for this ineilima* 
We honour and bounty ? Nothing, faid 
Muley, but a fingle hour's attendaace, to 
2^ve them a ^rt Iketch of jyour life and 

adventares. 



The fool o? QUALITY, 203: 

adventures. Take back your prefeiits,' 
I cried, there is poifoa and death in thecn ;• 
I will not betray the truft that our mafter 
Has repofed in me. Nay, faid Miiley, I 
affirm^to you that there is no fuch inten- 
tion. Oar ladies are all women of the 
fevereft chaftity. I will undertake to con- 
duel, and recondudl you back in fafe- 
ty-. Neither can our mafter be betrayed 
in any degree. They all live together,- 
they love like fitters, and no one keeps a 
fecret from the other. However, they 
defired me to tell you, that, if you are of 
a fearful temper, they will not infift on 
the- favour fo much expefted. 

Here I felt myfelf piqued : No, Mu- - 
ley, I cried, I am' no coward. lean 
dare all honeft dangers. I will attend 

J^ou. But I will not ftay, Mulcy. I will 
et your ladies know, tnat, in the caufe 
of honour and virtue, I can refiil all 
temptations.' 

I then called a dittant flave, who wait- 
ed my orders, and, giving him the bun- 
dle, defired him to lay it within my tent. 
Where now, Muley ? ^aid I. 1 will fliew 
you, faid Muley. 

He then led me to a large . bucket^ 
ijrherein water was accuftomed' to be rai- 
fed> by pulleys, to the.balcony, wd there 



CC4 Thf tool or C^V ALITY. 

tr Ve rrrpticd into vcflels ttatfbood rpon 
the \ezds, 

Ycu muft rot enter any dcor of tl:e 
liver ftory, faid Muley ; for there cur 
KTj'cfucs inhalit, ard iTiight, prcbatly, 
cb^'tivcycu. But, if you get in to this 
Iwcket, in a nrinute or two after I will 
raiie yc^u by the pullcy^i^and take you 
gently in.. ** 

Muley then went from me, and was 
admitted, on fhiking at a difiant door; 
-vi hile I ftood by the bucket, and, obicr- 
Tiog its firfi motion, jumped in, and was 
conveyed to the top of the palace. 

Muley there received me in darkncfi 
and filence, and, taking me by the hand^ 
led me down by a few fieps into a oar- 
row apartment that was fcarcdy enlight- 
ened by a glimmering lamp. He there 
kit me again, giving me only a whifper* 
3ng promife that he would quickly rctDm. 
1 waited for him long, howrcver, under 
great impatience of getting fpeedily back 
^gain. At Length he came, and, taking 
me by the hand, without fp^ddng ^ 
word, he led me through a long and 
dark entry, till, cdming to a folding-door^ 
lie touched a fpring, whereupon the doo^ 
ficw open on either fide, and threw afud^ 
den hlaze upon my dazzled eyes. 

The 



.fiiE FOOL OF QUALITY. 205 

The falcon, upon which it opened, was 
profufely illuminated, and moft fumptu* 
oufly furnifhed ; but my^ attention was* 
quickly called from fuch inferior objefts,. 
In the midft a board was covered with an 
elegant collation. Around it were placed 
a great number of fmall fofas ; and be* 
hind each fofa flood a lady richly adorn- 
ed, but veiled from the head to the 
waifl. 

Again Muley led me to the further 
end, while I made a low obeifance as I '« 
pafled the Company. He then compel- 
led me to fit, where, by 3 fmall turn 
of my head, I could have a full pro- 
fyedi of each fair-one at table. Then^ 
as by one motion, they were all inftantly 
feated ; and again, as by one motion^ 
they ail inftantly threw up their veils^ 
md I had like to have fallen backward 
•with the fuddennefs df the luftre that 
flaihed upon my fpirit.. 
• All the ladies fmiled, and feemed de* 
Bghted at my aftonifliment. The Sul- 
tana Adelaide fat neareft to me^ on the 
light ; and was no way diftinguiflied from 
ier fiftcrs, hut by a fmall coronet of fea« 
ther&i diamonds that was inferted in her 
fovely locks. Ofmyn^ faid ihe, you feem 
'c^ixiething furprilbd ; were you never in 
^ ^raglio before ? Have you no fcraglio* 

ia 



2q6 The FQOL of QUALITr. 

in your country, Ofmyn ? No, Midam; 
1 replied, we have no feraglio in our 
country ; but fore, no feraglio, upon 
earth, ever produced fuch and fo miiiy 
beauties as naw flrike my eyes. Heaven 
alone can exhibit fuch a conflcllation of 
luminaries* 

Would you not wi(h then, faid Ade- 
laide^ to have fuch a feraglio of your 
own? No, Madam, I anfwered ; without 
love, in my judgment, there can be no 
true enjoyment; if ever I love, it can be 
but the one ot^ect, and her I ihall love 
with my whole heart ; true love will ad- 
mit of no divifion. Here flie looked at 
me with a tendernefs that funk into my 
ibul^ and, taking out her handkerchief> 
flie wiped away a fwelling tear. 

Another lady then demanded if we bad 
not a woman-market, and if they were 
not flaves in my country as they v/trt 
here ? No, Madam, I replied, our fair- 
ones there are not the fubjefts of mer- 
chandife, but the objefts of admiration* 
No woman in England can be bound to 
any lover, fave by her own affeftions. 
There it is death for any man to hav^ 
more than one wife, and that after ^ 
fuit, perhaps of feveral years. A lady 
there, of equal beauties to the leaft c^" 
cellcnt ia comjpjmyj would be followed b'^ 

kundrecl^ 



The fool of qUALITY. 207 

Hundreds of humble and fighing adorers. 
In England our actions are as free as 
our hearts^; and the fenfibilities of noiu- 
tual love, between thofe of the fexes 
•who feel that tender and inchanting paf- 
£oa, conftitute the principal happineis of 
^which life is capable.^ 

Happv Englifh women, happy Englifh-^ 
•women I was echoed all around^ 

Alas, cried the lovely Adelaide^ haw 
-very different is our fate ! we are fold, like 
iiervile bruteSj to any brute of a mailer. 
We neither love, nor are beloved j as 
you now have convinced me, Ofmyn. 
"We arc fubjcfted to vile defires, which 
Dve at once deteft and fuffer;, and, when 
thofe delireaare gratified, we are caft aw^y 
aa common lumber, to make room for 
feme new comer. Even high as I fit 
liere, the favoured Sultaqa of my Lord, 
I may to-morrow be appointed to the 
meaneft offices of his hopfehold. This, 
liirely, cannot be a marriage ; for, as you 
lave intimated, Ofmyn, and as I feel in 
Jny own ioul, marriage can only confift: 
Uk an union of hearts. Love cannot be 
bought or fold; it is of too precious a 
nature ; nothing can purchafe, nothing 
oompenfate, fave its value in love alo&e. 

Here they prefled me to tell them mj 
ftory } and here I confefs^ to my ihame, 

that. 



2o8 The FOOL of qUALITY/ 

that, however vile I appeared in my own 
eyes, I was ambitious of appearing as 
honourable and deferving as poflible in 
the eyes of the fnir Adelaide. 1 there- 
fore fuppreffed what was black, gloffcd 
over what was offenfive, and enlarged oa 
every thing that I deemed advantageous 
in my own character* 

The njght was far fpcnt, by the time 
I concluded ; and the Sultana arifingy 
propofed to fhew me the curiofities of aa 
adjoining cabinet. I accordingly attend^ 
ed her, and was aftoniQied at the luftre^. 
the richnefs, and profufion of the jewelsy 
as wdl as at the miracles of art that fhe 
difplayed before my eye&^ 

On our return, we perceived that our 
company had abfconded. Adelaide grew 
all crimfon, and caft down her eyes. I 
alfo wa3 confufedy my heart began to* 
throb, and I looked about. for fome pre*- 
tence to make a quick efcape^ But — 
but — in fliort, Gentlemen, neither my . 
refolutions, norrehgion, nor honour^ nor 
gratitude were of any avail againft fuch a^ 
temptatiop ; they fell together, an eafy 
viftim to the all-conquering Adelaide. 

Adelaide was the firft to prefa my re- 
treat. It wa? not yet day. I found Mu-- 
ky in waiting. We came by the way \vc 

wen^^ 



The fool ow QUALITY, lof 

went, I fiepped into the bucket, and he 
let me gently down. 

As I approached the pavement, I felt 
a hand behind that feized me violently 
by the flioulder. I fprung out, and, fci- 
zing the wretch by the throat, would in- 
ilantly have plunged my poniard into his 
bofom ; but fome power as fuddenly ar- 
refied my arm, and faid to my heart. 
Beware that thou add not murder to adul- 
tery, David ! 

While I hefitated, a number rufhed 
upon me unaware, they griped me by 
each arm, and, wrefting the poniard from 
me, they bound my hands behind, and 
led me to the cells of the Imams that 
fiood fomething aloof from one end of the 
palace. 

As foon as they had brought lights. 
What, Ofmyn ! exclaimed their chief, can 
this be our renowned Ofmyn ? Is it thus 
that you repay the favours of your gene- 
rous and kind mailer ? You are a Chriitian, 
cried another ; has your Chriil then taught 
you to betray the confidence and truft that 
is repol'ed in you ? This was a home ftab ; 
it went through my heart ; but I flood in 
a ihamefaced fullennefs, and opened not 
my lips. 

Here they went apart, and, having 
conlultcd a v. bile, returned. Olmyn, faid 

theif 



fro Th« fool of qiTALITTir 

their chief, you are a brave and a won* 
dcrful man, and it is a pity to lofe your 
Your fecret is yet with us ; and we fwcar 
to you, by our holy {irophet, and by the 
terrible Alia, that if you pertbrm the 
fingle condition we injoin, we will burjp 
what we know, in a depth below the 
grave, and we will recommend you to the 
love of All, and the acclamation of all 
the people, and we will have you loaded 
with pieferintrnts, and riches, and h(h 
nours. Name it quickly, I cried, what- 
ever it may be, at the rilk, at the lofr 
oi my life, I will perform it. It is, faid 
he, no more than to abjure Chrift, and 
to confefo Mahomet, whofe pricfe we 
are, and all the bleflings of ki» paradiTt 
fliall be Ihowered down upon you. 

Here I gave a deep groan ; and cafb 
ing down my head, and fhcdding a filcot 
tear, without daring to lift my thoughts 
to heaven j No, no, I cried, though Chrift 
is nothing to me, though I have no in* 
terell in him ; though he fpurns and has 
rejeftcd me, for time, and for eternity ; 
though I have daily denied him by everj 
aclion of my life ; yet my tongue iiiall ne- 
ver deny him. In poverty and nakednefs, 
in dangers and^ in dungeons, in death 
here, and in hell hereafter, my mouth 
fliall confeis him. 

Here 



The FaOL oy qXJALITY. tti 

Here they went apart ag^in, and, re^ 
turnings told me that I ihould have two 
days to deliberate on their propofsd ; ^ but 
that,, tf I did not comply, 1 fhould be 
impaled alive on the third morning, with 
all the additional tortures that art could 
mvent. 

,They then put me into a covered kind 
ef a waggon, and conveyed me to Algiers^ 
where 1 was caft into a noifome dun- 
geon, bolted down to the ground with 
irons, fuftained with coarfe bread and 
water, and not allowed a ray of light to- 
divert my tlioughts from the darknels 
and horrors of my iituation. 

Mean time I endeavoured to reinforce 
my refolution^ by repeating to myfelf 
the facred promife, where Chiift fays, 
Wbo/bever will confefs me upor, earthy him 
fmll I confefs before my Father which is in 
beaven^ Mine, indeed, faid I, is but a< 
verbal confeilion ; but even that, with 
what I am about to fuffer for his fake,: 
may ferve to make me lefs criminal, if 
Bot acceptable, in his fight. 

I then longed to be brought to the 
tcft, while 1 Suiddered at the tlioughts 
of it. At length the day arrived. The 
Imams came and once more repeated the 
quetlion ; but 1 ttili periilted, though in 
terms that were fcarcely intcUitjible, for 



n»v 



IIS The fool of qUALITY. 

fny tongue cleaved with terror to Ae 
roof of my mouth. 

They then ftripped me to thefe dntir- 
erSy out of .which alfo they took my 
money, with other valuables, and evoy 
thing except this inflgnificant walnut, 
and, having tied me to a fledge, I mi 
dragged to the place of execution. 

1 he chief Imam once more aiked, if i 
would renounce the Son of David i but 
I made him no anfwer, for I was uoaUc 
to fpeak. I had feen the preparauons^ 
the ftake in the hands of the execution- 
ers ; the fires kindled about me, with 
horrid ipftruments ready to be put there- 
in, for the tearing of my frying and qui- 
vering flcfli from the bones. 

Could I then have had the confidence 
to have turned my foul to God, and to 
have befought his afliftancein that trying 
and terrible hour, I make no queftion 
but he would have given me ftrengtlt 
from on high, to dcty all that map or 
devils could do unto me ; and I might 
now, in the regions of his bounty and 
his bleffednefs, have been pouring forth 
my exifttncc, in the grateful and afio- 
niflied fcn(e of his mercy to fuch a finner* 

But when I refleclcd on the wrirhings 
of Barbar, the bare fr/ht of which mv 
fpiiil was not able to luppurt -, w hen i 



The fool of QUALITY. 213 

iaw fuch an apparatus of additional tor- 
ments ; and when they took me in hand, 
for inftant execution, I utterly loft my 
ienfes ; I fhrunk inward with fear, my 
hairs ftood on end with horror; my tongue 
found fudden utterance, and I cried, Stay, 
ftay, 1 will fay, I will do whatever you 
enjoin. 

The Imam then began to pronounce a 
form of renunciation, which he ordered 
me to repeat alter him ; but I was fo 
panting and breathlefs, that they were 
obliged to get a cordial for me to keep 
me from fwooning. 

As foon as my fpirits were fomething 
reftored, the Imam again began his im- 
pious ceremony, and 1 make no queftion 
but I fhould have gone through it, how- 
e\-er abhorrent to my foul ; but, in that 
inftant, we heard diiiant ftiouts and cries, 
as of many people ; the found of the 
clamours drew nearer and nearer ; and, 
foon after, we faw numbers hurrying to 
and from the city. Their words became 
now, as diftinct, as they were audible ; 
Ali is flaiu, Ali is llain ! was all the cry ; 
and Amurath comes in full march upon 
'is. 

Here all turned fuddenly from me, 
md, flying feveial ways, left me un- 
^und and alone, fitting clofe by the 

ftake. 



SI4 The FOOL of qUALlTT. ^ 

flake. Seeing this, I began to recover 
from the fearful and faint condition ifl 
which I was; and, riiing, I made die 
beft of my way to the port. There I 
iaw a long-boat juft about to fet <^ widi 
z number of fellows, much in my own 
plight, and, taking a run^ I fprnng fixmi 
the beach into the midft of them«' 

A man then demanded in EngHfli, if 
I was one of the ranfomed ? Yes, ran- 
fomed, ranfomed, I cried, wonderfiDOjr 
ranfomed indeed ; whereupon, widioot 
further queftion, they fet up their fail, 
and, in about two hours, we reached the 
Ihip which the conful had appointed to 
take them in. 

For the remainder of that day, I con- 
tinued in a ftate that is hard to be con- 
ceived. My head and ftomach, at times, 
were difordered by fick fits, and myforf 
hovered in an aftoniihed and fearful kind 
of doze, as one not rightly awaked froiB 
a dream of horror • 

Toward evening I threw myfcif dowtt 
in the hold, and iunk into a ftate of Ut- 
ter oblivion, as I had not flept for the 
three foregoing nights and days. 

The day following I found my body 
fomething refreflied, but the fituation of 
my mind was like that of a difturbed 
and tumbling fea after a raging ftorm. I 

looked 



The tool pf qUALITY. 215 

looked around for comfort, but no com-* 
fort was near ; I looked afar off /or hope^ 
but no hope came in profpeft. The fenfe 
^ esdfience became a mifery under which 
I was not able to bear up ; and, could I 
Juive had my wi(h, creation would agaia 
have been uncreated. 

During the whole of our voyage I con- 
tinued^ very nearly, in this difllemper of 
fj^t. For though at times I would 
cater into the frolics and jovial humours 
of the crew, yet my merriment, at fuch 
feafons, was a merriment to madnefs ; 
and 1 would again fink, precipitately, in- 
to a depth of defpondence, whofe dark- 
jiefs would admit no ray of confolation. 

The tempter would then urge me, by 
dagger, or by drowning, or by any means, 
to get rid of a being, that only ferved to 
torment me. But again, the dread that 
I might not get rid of that being, and 
that death might plunge me into a per- 
pctuity g{ thofe pangs in which I faw the 
wretched Barbar agonizing, this deterred 
me from hafiening the day of my horrid 
doom, and fo I waited in a gloomy and 
fearful looking out for judgment. 

I would tnen call myfelf, at dead of 
night, before that terrible judgment. 
Thou fiend David, I would fay, where- 
iore art thou funk in guilt above all that 

' ever 



2i6 The FOOL of qUALlTY. 

ever were guilty ? It was thy fortune to 
get three good and kind mafters, good 
and kind above thy wants, and even up ^ 
to thy wiflies ; and all thefe thou haft de- | 
ccived/ thou haft fpoiled and betrayed i 
them. Even the Mafter of aU mafterii 
the Mafter who was my freedom in the | 
midft of my captivity, I was on the brink '■ 
of denying the Jefus alfo ; nay, I did re- 
ject, I did deny him, I promifed, I en- 
gaged, to rcje^l and den^ him ; and he urill 
rejeA thee ; through time, and through 
eternity, he will deny thee, David ! 

One evening a fearful tempeft arofe ; 
and, while molt of the crew gave fomeof 
their little matters to the provedorc for 
liquors, and fat, drowning the fenfe of 
danger, and profanely caroufing, at one 
end of the fliip ; my companions, wha 
are prefent, were praying or iinging glorjf 
to God in the other. Both parties invi- 
ted me to join them, but I refufed to be 
partaker with either ; for I could not abet 
m others that wickednefs which I con* < 
demned and detefted in myfelf ; and I 
could not think of taking into my exe- 
crable mouth the facred name of that . 
Chrift to whom I had fo lately turned » 
falfe apoftale. In tlie mean time, I held 
myfelf as the refugee Jonas, whofe crimes 
brought perdition on ail in the veflel \ 

an^ 



7 
Thie fool of qUALlTY* 217 

and I was on the point of advifing the 
mariaers to caft me out. 

At length the tempeft abated, but mj 

perturbations did not abate. I wiflied 

. to repent, but I deemed myfcif pail the 

poffibnlity of repentance ; and thus I con- 

i tanued in a flate of diiTitisfac^ion and en- 

i mity againft myfelf, againft my God,. 

s^gainft man and woman kind. 

When the conftables entered, and, by 
the order of Sir Thomas, laid hold on fuch 
a number of my late aflbciates ; though 
I thought that I did not care what became 
of mc, yet Nature began to reaffcrt her 
rights ; I trembled and turned exceeding 
pale, as I fuppofe ; all my crimes came 
ruihing together into my memory ; I 
imagined, that they were expofcd before 
your eyes alfo ; and I expecled, each mo^ 
ment, to be feized, like my fellow-cul- 
prits, andthrown into a dungeon. But, 
when I found, that, inftead of puniih- 
ment, yjou propofed to load me with 
your bounties, all my fins appeared to 
me the more exceedingly fintul ; your 
goodnefs came, in a heap, upon the 
£ead of my own guilt ; and I fell pro- 
"flrateat your feet, as under the weight of 
a mountain. 

As foon as he had clofed his Aory , Fake 
courage and comfort to you; David, I 
I Voi..ni. K CT\(id. 



^i« The fool or <^ALITY. 

cried. Your cafe is not near fo defpe* 
rate as your confcientious fears have form- 
'cd it. Your error lay in trufting to your 
own fenfe of duty, and to the ftrength 
of your own powers for refilling tempdh 
don; and the beft man that ever hrtat- 
thed, with no better a dependence, muft ^ 
inevitably have fallen, as you did, David. 
You now know your own weaknefs ; you 
are taught, by repeated experience, that, 
in or of y ourfdf, you no more can ftand 
againft the enemies, of your foul, when 
they affail you, than a tree fevered from 
its root, and barely fet on end, can fland 
the aflliults of a coming tempeft. Keep 
therefore to your root, David. Never 
<lare, in your own ftrength, to oppofc 
yourfclf to a reed. Apply to the Hock, 
my friend, from whence you w^cre hewn. 
Cling to him, repofe upon him, put your 
whole confidence in him ; and then your 
weaknefs fhall become ftronger than an 
army with banners ; and neither life nor 
death, nor principaliries, nor powers, nor i 
things prefent, nor things to come, fliaH ] 
be able to feparate you from the love of 
God which is in Chrift Jefus. 

While I fpoke, his e> es began to gliftco, 
the cloud of his countenance cleared, hii 
afpeft afTumcd a chearful ftrcnity, he 
could fcarce have been known for the 

£iiDe 



The FO0I, of (QUALITY. 2tf 

ftme perfon ; and he crted, I will, I will 
race more feck to my God ; do you, my 
mafter, pray him to permit my approach ; 
ind in fife, or ini death, I never will let 
go my hold of him any more. He then 
^ould again have caft himfelf at my feet^ 
but I haftened to prevent him. 

David^ faid I, I am 0oing to France, 
and before I fet out, I mould be greatly 
deaicd to fee you in fome decent way of 
tivelihood. Now, inftead of the twenty 
pounds, of which you held yourfelf fo un- 
worthy, here are two hundred to make a 
kind of beginning for you, and I (hould 
be glad to know the ufe you prppofe to 
make of this money* 

In the fir ft place. Sir, faid he, I will 
refund, to my two maftcrs, all the money 
of which I defrauded them, with full or 
double intereft, amounting, as I fuppofe, 
to feventy or eighty pounds. And, in the 
next place, I will return to your Honour 
every penny of the remainder ; for indeed 
you fhall not perfuade me to truft myfelf 
with it. In my prefent way of thinking, 
it would be of no more ufe to me than the 
ftones or dirt of the ftreet. My ftate of 
flavery and labour was the only ftate of 
happinefs that I have known fince my 
birth ; and I dread, I fhudder at the ap- 
prehenfioa of affluence. I am already but 

K 2 too 



X7C The fool of qUALITT. 

too rich, in having my liberty. I am 
now in a free country, and, therefore, 
lord of my own earnings. Matter of 
labour is but matter of play to me. The 
pay of a porter, on the fpot where I am, 
will be too much of opulence ; it wiD 
give me a further fufficiency to fupply 
the wants of the needy, and the cravings 
of the beggan 

My good David, my beloved penitent, 
faid the worthy Sir Thomas, and fo faying 
he took him moil cordially by the hand, 
how came you by that fame walnut, the 
only remnant of all your treafures, which 
you called infignificant, and have yet re- 
tained to this day ? You are as Pharaoh 
to his chief butler. Sir, faid David, you 
bring my faults fully into the remem- 
brance of your fervant. 

While the Sultana, as I told you, was 
fhewing and difplaying to me the trea^ 
fures of her cabinet, me delircd me to 
take thereout whatever I held mcft rare 
or moft eftimable. But, as my covetous 
fit was not then upon me, I turned my 
eye on a few walnuts that I law in a cor- 
ner, and taking one of them, faid, that 
I would keep it for her fake. Swear to 
me then, flie cried, that you vill never 
break or open it, till ycu get into your 
own country . 1 his was an eafy condition, 
^md I inflautly ccmplied with it. 

Did 



.^ 



The Fool of qXJALrxY. 2^2:1^ 

Did you love the Sultana^ David ? Yes, 
Sir, to excefs, as I am alfo perfuaded that 
flie loved' me ; and we vowed to inter- 
marry, if ever it fhould be our fortune to 
regatiy our liberty; and, bound or free, 
. aever to marry another. 

Let me look at your walnut, David,' 
£iid Sir Thomas j you are now under no . 
further injunction concerning' it. Do not 
break it, I befeech you, then^ Sir, faid 
David-, becaufe I intend never to part 
with it. I' will not break it, Dkvid, I 
will only open it with my knife, and a 
little matter of ifinglafs may foon- repair 
the breach^ 

Sir Thomas then took the walnut, and^ 
having poifed it for forae time in his 
hand; twill give you a hundred guineas, 
David) faid he, for your hazard of what 
Ihis ihell containSi^ I would tak« a hun- 
dred pence. Sir, faid Davidj if I was in* 
clined to tak<3 your money without giving, 
value. Sir Taoina^ then took his knife, 
and,, dividing the (holl with the utmost 
caution, I have a ftrofig fancy, David, 
faid he, that I muft foon raife the market ; 
and inilantly produced a diamond of the' 
firft water and magnitude. 

We all ftarted back' and looked afto- 
nifhed ; and David was the only perfon 
ia.go.i:ipaa^ who, neithei* by word or loDk, 



222 The fool ap QUALITY. 

cxprdTed the finsJleft joy or latisfadioa ob 
the occaiioa. 

Sir Thomas, who was a jewelkxi h»> 
ving infge^led the fione awhile with much 
delight and admiration, Mr. David, {ai4 
he, I would ofier you feveoteen hundred 
pieces for this diamond, if I did not think 
my offer confiderably under the value, 
but I ihall be a better judge when I have 
put it in the fcales^ Keep it, keep it, 
bir, cried David, and heartily welcome; 
return me only the ihell, it is all I will 
accept of. Then, turning to me a pale 
and alarmed afpect. Ah !. Sir, faid he, 
this is queftiontels another device of the 
tempter, I fear that I am not to get quit 
of my old aflbciate fo foon as 1 looked 
for. . I do not think with you, David, ia 
this matter, I replied. J rather conceive 
that Providence hath fent you this trea- 
iui e at a time that he fees you will make 
a worthy ufe of it. Oh, Sir, he cried, 
if it ihall ever again be my cafe to fall 
off from my God, I ihall certainly run 
mad, or make away with myfetf. Why 
fo, David? faid L You muft not ez- 
pe<^, all on a fudden, to jump into a finlefs 
ftate. Such a fiate is only for thofe who 
have 2ATC2idy fows^/jt the good fight ^ who 
have fiiijljed tkeir courfey Vk ho Lavt: kept the 
faith. Such a Hate ib only for thofe in 

whom 



Tut FOOL OF qUALlTY. 223 

^ffbotB the Babe of Bethlehem is not onty 
conceived, but ^rown up and become 
matore: TheTe indeed cannot fin, but 
run, with a joyful and freewHl, into all 
forts of goodnefs^ as a (bream is prone te^ 
run to its kindred and parent ocean • 
But as for fuch as you and I, brother 
David, we muft be content to flruggle 
on, and to fall and tife by turns. And^ 
though we ihould tall an hundred times^ 
a-'day, yea and be fore wounded alfo, my 
David, yet we fhould nM defpond, but' 
turn as often to our Helper in total diffi- 
dence of ourfeWes, and full confidence 
in his mightincfs.. For he is almighty to * 
lift us up whenever he thinks good, and 
the balm of Cilvary is better than the 
\n\m of GUead, to heal all our wound- 
ings. 

1 will tell 'you another ficre^ David, 
which I learned from a faint who is now 
ui heaven : That the humbling Hate of 
frequent and confcious lapfes is more eli^ 
gible, and tending to higher blefiedne& 
tor man* than the firmnel's and reditude 
of an unfallen angel, becaufe it laps felf- 
confidence and creaturely dependence, and 
throws one wholly on the bafe that pil- 
lars up eternity. 

Here he catched at my hand, and prefT- 
iiv^ \\\i lip; ujon it, AVhat Ihall I rendcf 

K 4 Y^^^ 



224 The FOOL or QV 

you, my maAer, wfiat fliall I render 
you> he criedy for die peace and eomfoit 
which you have fhed abroad trough my 
hofojn ?• I may bow draw near to tbe 
throne of eompaffion, heavy laden wkh 
all my fins, that b to&y, with all myfdfi 
and V will truft= to-, free mercy for remo- 
Ting the burden^ atid to free grace aloiie 
for any good t^at (halt ever be in me- 

As It now grew late, we agreed that 
Sir Thomas Ihould take David home it 
his own coach^ and that I fliould take 
Thomas with me in* a hackney ; and I 
gave their remaining comrades an order 
for a hundred and fifty-guineas- ^^r maiK 

When we were juft upon feparating, 
Thomas caught David about the neck. 

my dear David, faid he, I (hall furely 
never dare to judge any man again-; for 

1 held you to be a very reprobate, when 
you were, fifty times over, a better maa 
than myfelf . Hereupon I wifhed Sir Tho^ 
mas and David a good night, and, ma- 
king Tirlah and Thomas go into the 
coach with me, went direftly home. 

As I entered the houfe, Mrs. Tirrell 
met me withafudden joy in her counte- 
nance. My dear Sir,, ihe cried, I be- 
gan to be in trouble about you ; I have 
kept fupper back this long time. Then, 
laid I, let us have it as foon as you pleafe ; 

tur 



The fool of QUALITY. 225: 

* _ 

Ibr I have hero brought a dear friend* 
kome. with me. 

I placed the twins directly oppolite tb^ 
each other at table,, and I' made TiiLih 
SHid young James fit down along with us. 

While I was pleafingly erp ployed in* 
obferving. the mutual' emotibns of the 
brother and filler, they looked eagerly at 
each otheri they, both chaji'ged counte- 
nance, and" neither of them offered' to* 
t^fte a- bit.. Mr. Thomas, faid I, why- 
do not you eat 2 Thomas ! Thomas ! 
cried- the fifter, in a quick and paffionate 
accent ; it may be — it may be — O ! -— ■ 
my brother I 

So faying, flie gave a jump which,- 
for the world, (he could not have done 
at any other time. Over tumbled the 
table, meat, difhes, and plates ;' while (he 
gatched and clung about her brother, 
without cafting a thought away, upon the " 
ruins that flie had wrought. - O my Tom- 
my, O my Nelly ! my Tommy, my Nel- 
ly ! was ail that was uttered in the midft - 
of their carefles. They faw no one but 
each other; they heard no one but each ^ 
other ; and I would gladly lofe or give a 
thoufand fuppers, to be feafted as I was 
at that feafon. 

When Mr. Clinton came to this part 
•f his fiory^ a meflenger entered in fear- 

K 5 fiil 



Z26 T;iE. FOOL bF qUALITY. 

iu\ hafle, and delivered a letter to Lady 
iViaitland. As foon as ihe had run it 
o\cr. My dearcft Sir, flie cried, I mufe 
leave you tbis infiant. I lately made you 
ati of^er of a hundred thoufand poundis, 
and now I know not that I have fo maoy 
{hillings upon earth. I am here inform- 
ed, that the trudee of all my affairs has 
abfconded and made his efcape to France;, 
but I mull hurry to town, and inquire 
into this bufinefs» So faying, fhe curt* 
lied and fuddcnly withdrew, without 
giving her coulin time to make a tender 
of his ferviccs^ 

The next morning Mr. Qinton order- 
cd his chariot to the door, and haftened 
to attend her Ladyfhip at her houfe io 
London ; but there he was told,, that flie 
had fet out for Dover about an hour be- 
fore, and he returned nauch deje&ed and 
grieved on her aceount. 

In about three weeks after Mr. Qc* 
ment, %\ithhis young pupil, cam« homev 
quite lightened of the money, they had 
taken abroad. Mr. Fen ton, for fo we 
ihall call him again, gave Qement a 
friendly embrace, and took Harry to his- 
carelTes as though he had returned from 
a long and dangerous voyage* 

Well, Clement, faid Mr. Fentopj what 
account have you to give us of your ex- 
pedition • 



TfiE FOOL OF QUALITY. 227: 

pedition ? An account. Sir, that woiild- 
fee extremely difpleafing to any man li^ 
ving except yourfelf ; in fliort, our younjj. 
Gentleman, here, has plunged you above 
a thoufand pounds in debt, over the large' 
Aims that we carried with usi I hope 
fhe objects were wortliy, faid Mr. Fen- 
toru W.onderfuUy worthy, indeed, Sir ; 
T never faw luch^ tender and afFecling, 
icenes.- Then I fliall be overpaid and en-- 
Ficbed by the narration* 

Here Harry inquired impatiently for 
iSfrs. Clement and his friend Ned, and 
being told that they were on a vifit to the 
widow Neighbourly, he took a hafty leave 
for the prefent, and away he fLcw to em- 
brace them. 

As foon as he was gone. Sir, faid Mr. 
Clcn>ent, I cannot think that there is, in 
the world, fuch another boy as yours* I 
will leave to himfelf the detail of our ad- 
ventures in the feveral prifons ; they had 
liich an efFeftonhis heart, that they can- 
not but have made a deep impreffion on 
bis memory ; fo I (haU only tell you of 
what happened in our way to London. 

As we were chatting and walking lei- 
ftirely along thcroad, a poor man before 
us happened to drop in a fit of the falling- 
iicknefs . When Harry law the wtithings ' 
aod obnvoUions in which he lay, he turned 

fcf pale 



I _ 



-28 The FOOL of C^ALITY. 

pnVj and looked greatly frightened, and> 
feizing me under the aruvhe emd. Come, 
come away ! and hunied sie off as fall 
as he could. But we had not gone far 
till bis pace began to abateV and fiopping>. 
and heiitating, Let us turn^ let us turn^ 
Mr. Ckment, he ciied« let us go back 
again and help the poor man I We thea 
returned hafiily, and, raifing hk head; 
we kept him from bruifing it againft the 
ground. I then forced open his clenchr 
ed hands, and, having chafed the palms^ 
a. while, he begaa to recover, and foon 
came to himfeUT. Mean wh^e Harry's 
fright was not ypt quite over. He feeob' 
ed wining to get away from the objed of 
his terror, and, putting his hand in bii 
pockety and givibg him all the iilver he^ 
had, he. wifhed hmi better bealtb> ani^ 
away we went;. ^ 

We had not gone above Half a mile 
further when I fa w a little girl, in a field 
on the right' hand, endeavouring to drive 
a cow through aiinall gate into the road,, 
iia order? to be. milked,, as.I.fuppofe, by 
her mother ; but tlie cow kicked up her 
liccls and proved wantoa aiid jrefradory, . 
and ran hither and thither, and would not 
be guided*.. The, poor child; then fct vf 
a cry. of as bitter difirefs as if all that 
wa3 valuable in. the world was going 

tO: 



The fool of (QUALITY. 22y 

to mm. Harry gave a ready car to^ 
the founid of lamentation^ aad feeing 
the plight the poor thing was in, ho 
fuddenly cro&d die road, above ankle 
deep in dirt, and, leaping the ditch, he 
proved nimbler than the cow, and, dii* 
ving her through the pafs,. he turned her 
inta the way that the child would have 
ker go. 

That morning,, indeed, was to Harry 
ft morning of petty adventures. B^y the 
time that we approached the fuburbs, we 
had nearly overtaken a grqwn girl who 
carried a bafket of eggs on her head. A 
great li>bberly boy juil then paffed us 
by at a fmart pace, and, tripping up to 
the gids gave the bafket a tip with his 
hand,, and dalhed all the eggs into mafh 
againil aftony part of the roadj and again 
taking tahis heels> run on as before. Im? 
mediately Harry's indig^nation. was kind- 
kd, and, feCting out at top fpeed, he foon 
overtook him,, and gave him feveral fmart 
firokes with his little cane acrofs the 
ihoulders» The fellow then turned upon 
Harry, and gave him a furious blow with 
his nil. over the head,, while I haften^ 
ed to his relief,^ as the other appeared 
quite an overmatch for him. But, be*^ 
fore I arrived^ our hero had put a 

quick. end to the combat.;, for, ipringiof 

from 



ago The FOOL of QITAUTY. 

from the ground, he darted his he*d full 
into the nofe and mouth of his atlvcrL' 
ry, who inftantly roared out, and, feeing 
his own blood come pouring down, he 
once more took to flight, while IlnrrY 
continued to prcfs upon hini,. and bela- 
boured him at pleafm^e, till he judged 
that kc had beaten him to tho full value 
of the eggs^ 

Mean while the poor girl, wholly nn^ 
mindful of what palfed, remained wail- 
ing and wringing her hands over cfac 
wreck of her merchandife. The voice 
of a fyren could not fo powerfully have 
attracted and recalled Harry from the 
length he had gone; he returned with 
fpeed to her, and I followed. My poor 
girl, fays he, where were you going with 
tho£e eggs i To market. Mailer, (ays fhe : 
and what did you expeft to get fpr them ? 
About five {hillings, Sir, and I had pro- 
mifed my daddy and mammy to lay it 
out in iJioes and ftockings for my little 
brothers and iifters ; and fo I muii now 
bear all the blame of the poor things go* 
ing barefoot. Her^ ihe again fet up her 
wailings, and her tears poured 6owm 
afreflu 

Harry then deiined me to lend him ten 
fliillmgs, and, turning to the mourner, 
iiold-Ottt yotft two bands^ my poor girl, 

lie 



T«E FOOL OF QUALITY, a^r 

lie cried. Their, pntring five fhilfings 
into each hand. Here is the payment for 
your eggs, faid he ; and here are five 
millings morey though I fear it is toa- 
little, to pay you tor all the tears they 
cod you. 

Never did I fee fo fudden, fo great a: 
change in any countenance. Surprife, 
gratitude, ecftafy flafhed from her eyes, 
and gave a joyous fluflx to her whole 
afpeft.. She hurried her money into her 
bofom, and dropping on her knees in the 
dirt, and feizing hold of Harry's handy ' 
Ihe fqueeaed and kiiTed it repeatedly,, 
•without being able to utter a word. 
While Harry's eyes began to fill, and^. 
endeavouring to difengage himfelf, he 
made off as fafi as he could, from fuch 
thanks as he thought he. had no way de* 
fcrved; 

This, Sir, was the laft of our adven- 
tures going to London. But, had you 
fcen us on our return, about two hours 
ago, you would, have wondered at the 
miry plight into which we were put by 
helping pailen^ers up with their bundles^ 
tliat had tumbled into the dirt ; or by^' 
aflifiing to raife cattle that had fallen un^ 
der their carriages; for Mafter Harry^ 
would compel me to be as bufy and acr 
txve, in matters of charity, as himfelf. 

Howevefj^ 



132 The VOCTL of qUALITY: 

However, Sir, I- am to tell you, that 
Mailer Harry, uith all his excellencies of 
perfon, heart, and underftanding, will be 
accounted a mere idiot, among people of 
dillinction, if he is not permitted to enter 
into fome of the fafhionabl'e foibles ami 
fafliionable. vices of the age* 

We were taking a. walk in. the IVLIl,. 
when we were met by the Earl- of Manf-- 
ficld, who expreiFcd great joy at feeing 
Mailer Harry, his old acquaintance, as 
he called him ^. and he preifed us fo ear- 
neftly to dinner, that we could not, in 
good. manners^ refiiie him- 

There was a vaft concourfe of com- 
pany, more efpecially of the little quality 
of both fexes,. who came to pay their 
refpecls.to young. Lord Bottom, and his 
fiiler the Lady Louifa. 

Harry was received- and' iaiuted \xf' 
Lady Mansfield and the young Lord, 
without any appearance of the old ani- 
moiity. Some time aftier dinner a large 
packet of letters was brought in to the 
Earl, and, making his excufe to Harry 
alone, he rofe from the table, and retired ■ 
to his clofet. 

Lord Bottom and his fiiler then led the 
young. males and females to an adjoining 
apartment, where feveral card tables were 
) and X began to tremble for the cre- 
dit: 



Thb fool of qUALlTT. 153 

« 

dKt of my pupil, on the occafion, as I 
knew him to be a novice in fuch matters* 

In the mean time the remaining Ladies 
and Qentlemen divided into two or three 
parties at ombre ; and I fauntered about 
the room, admiring the prints of the 
Ariadne and the Aurora that were taken 
from Guido, as alfo fome capital paintings, 
that the Earl had brought from Italy. 

I had fpent above an hour in this piez^ 
fing amufement, and had nearly made the 
tour of the whole dining-room, when, as 
I flood at a little diftance behind my- 
Lady's chair, feemingly inattentive to any 
thing that paflfed. Lord Bottom entered 
on tiptoe, and, tripping up to his mo- 
ther, and tittering and whifpering in her 
ear. What do you think, mamma ? faid 
he ; fure. Mailer Fenton is a fool, a 
downright fool, upon my honour. He does 
not knowaiingle card in the whole pack, 
he does not know the difference between 
the ace of hearts and the nine of clubs* 
I do not think either that he knows any 
thing of the dilference or value of coin ;. 
for, as we pafled through the hall to- 
day, a beggar aiked for a halfpenny, and 
I faw him ilip a (hilling into his hand. 
Indeed, mamma, he is the greafeft fool 
tJhat ever 1 knew j and yet, poor fellow. 



a34 Th« fool ^f qUALITT. 

r 

he does not feem to kaow any thi0g. of 
the matter himfelf. 

Duiing this oratioQ of Lord Bottom^ 
on the virtues of his new friend, I fek 
my whole body glow and tingle with coa>- 
cern ; and, foon after, Harry entered with 
the reft of the fmali quality. Matter 
Fen ton, cries my Lady, I beg to fpeak 
with you. Do not you know the cards, 
my dear? No, ituleed. Madam-. Can- 
not you play at dice ? No, Madam> CaEV 
you play at draughts or chefs? Not at all,. 
Madam. Why then, my dear, I fiiuft 
tell you, that all your father's fortune 
will never incroduce you among people oif 
any breeding or of any fafliion. Can you 
play at no kind of game. Matter Harry ? 
A little at fox and gecfe. Madam : an4 
pray, my dear, faid my Lady fmiling, 
which of the parties do you efpoufe f 
The part of the geefe, Madam. I thought 
as much, pertly cried out my Lord BoU' 
torn ; whereupon a loud laugh was echoed 
through the room^ 

Here my X^ady chid the company, and 
calling Hariy to her again, for he had 
gone Ibmetliing aloof. Tell me, I pray 
you, faid (he, why you efpoufe the part 
©f the geefe ? Becaufe, Madaoi, I always 
wifti that fiaipHcity fhould gpt the better 
of fraud and caiinmg.. 

The. 



The fool or qUALITY. 235 

The Countefi here looked aftonifhed, 

and having ^azed a while at him, and 

caught and kifled him eagerly ; You are 

a noble fellow, ihe cried, and all muft be 

fools or mad that ever {hall take you for 

the one or the other. 

^ The elder gentry here laid their cards 

•afide, and deiired the young ones to fet 

about fome play. Lady Louifa propofed 

draw-gloves, or queftions and commands^ 

and tQ it they went. 

Among the females was one Mifs Up- 

£i(h, fole heirefs to a vail fortune. Though 
cr perfon was deformed, her face was the 
very picture of confident dHdain ; and 
fcarce any one could fpeak to her, or l<^ok 
at her, without being tokl of the conte£xlpt 
ihe had for them, by the fide-glance of 
her eye, the writhing of her neck, and 
tofling up of her head. 

In the courfe of the play, our Harry 
was commanded to put the candle into the 
hand of Mifs Uppifh, and then to kifs the 
Candleftick ; which command he obeyed 
literally, by giving her the candle, and 
kiffing the candleilick which he held in 
his own hand. 

Hereupon a great ihout was fet up in 
the young aflcinbly, and, O the fool, 
the IcnfcleJ's creature, the fool, the fool, 
the fool, was repeated througlioutj while 

Lord 



tj6 The F^OL <^i qUALITT. 

Lord Bottom laughed, and danced aboi 
in the impatience of his joy. 

I was amazed that Harry's countenan 
feemed no way difconcerted by all tl 
ridicule. At length Lady Mansfield ca 
cd him to her. How, my dear, ecu 
you be guilty of fuch an error ? Ihe iaii 
did not you know that, when you ga* 
the candle into the hand of the youi 
Lady# fhe became the candleftick, and 
wa& her you ihould have kiiTed. Har 
then approached tO' her Lidyihip*s ca 
and, in a pretty loud whifper, faid, I d 
not like the metal. Madam, that the ca 
dleftick was mlde of. Again Lady Mai 
field looked furpnfed, and faid. You a 
a fly rogue, a very fly rogue, upon n 
honour, and have feuieL enough co do; 
the wiieft of u» all. 

Jemmy Bottom, cried my Lady alon 
come here ! I cannot but tdl you, jet 
my, that you have behaved yourfclf c 
trenicly ill to your young friend hci 
^vho might have improved you by I: 
example as much as he has honoured y( 
by his vifit. I muft further tell yoii, Jcr 
my Bottom, thrit, whenever you piqi 
yourfelf pn degrnling Mafter Frnto 
you only pride in your own abafenicr 
and glory in your (liume. Hereupon 
got up ; and* icavin j[ our compliuicncs r 

v 



The FOOL of qUAUTY. 237 

:£arl, I carried off my young charge, 
fear of our falling into any further dif- 

Vlule Hany is abroad, faid Mr. Fen- 
, be pleafed to give me a general (ketch 
Jie manner ih which you difpofed of 
r money* In the firft place. Sir, an-, 
red Clement, you will find by this 
that, for little more than the five hu)i- 
1 pounds allotted, we releafed ninety- 
prifoners, whofe debts amounted from 
y fliillings to about twelve pounds per 
u Thefe, in general, had been jour- 
men-weavcrs, or other tradefmen ; 
, as they wanted means or encou- 
ement for exercifing their refpedivc 
upations in gaol, they fubfifted on the 
ce which they got by begging at the 
tes, or on their dividends of occafional 
IS, which were fent for their relief by 
ritable individuals. Nearly all of them 
^ half-fiarved ; and more than half- 
:ed, and yet they could hardly be 
I to excite compaflion, as they ap« 
red fo chearful and unfeeling of their 
Q wretchednefs. Neither was there one 
them of whofe ftory I could learn a 
rlc circumftance worth reciting. 
iome, however, were of a quality much 
erior to tJiis clafs. Among others, 
re were a French Marquis and a Ger- 



938 The fool op qUALITY. 

man Ccunc; the Count had been not 
tinder arreft bv his caterer, and the Mar- 
quis by his tailor ; fo that fomething \A 
than fifty pounds fet them both at K- 
berty. 

While the keeper of the Fleet-priToft 
was making out a lift for us of the prifH 
cipal debtors, Harry and I took a tm 
about the court, and obferved two fid- 
lows, in liveries, bearing feveral iinokii^ 
covers up the ftone fiairs, to a front-di- 
ning room« This furprifedme, andgaye 
me the curiofity to inquire what prifoncr 
it could be who lived in fo ezpenfive and 
luperb a manner. Sir, faid the under- 
keeper, there are few men now at liber- 
ty wealthier than this gentleman, who 
has done us the honour to fet up his 
ftafF of reft in our houfe. His name is 
Sink. He is an attorney, and an did 
bachelor, turned of fixty years of age. 
He is in for feveral fums, amounting to 
upward of nine thoufand pounds, and he 
is reputed to be worth many times that 
money. 

During the laft twenty years he be- 
haved himiclf with the firideft prohitf 
toward ail men, and with the ftrifteft ap- 
pearance of piety toward God- In the 
dark, in froft and fnow, and all inclemen- 
cies of weatlier^ he never mifled attending 

momiog- 



The fool ^f qUALlTY. 2^9 

Slioniing-fervice at cfaurdi* He wag 
equally felicitous to be at evening-prayer ; 
aad whatever company he chanced t9 
itave with him, or how important fo- 
ever the bufinefs in which he was enga- 
ged^ the moment he heard the bcU ring^ 
he would huddle up his papers, and break 
arway without ceremony. He was eager 
in- his inquiries to know where the iacra- 
meut was fooneft to be adminiflered, and 
he Aever oulTed receiving it, atleaft, once 
in the week. Whenever he heard any 
profauenefs or obfcenity in the flreets, he 
would ftop to reprove and expoftulatc 
with the offender. In fliort, he fo per- 
fecUv counterfeited, or took off, as they 
call It, the real Chriftian, that many look- 
ed to fee him, like Enoch or Elijah, taken 
alive into heaven. 

This perpetual parade of fanftity gave 
him fuch an eclat and unmeafurable cre- 
dit, that he was left truflee and executor 
in a multitude of wills ; and numbers alfo 
depofited their fubftance in his hands, in 
order to be laid out at intereft on fecuri* 
ties, and fo forth. 

Three months fince, about the dawn* 
ing, as his butcher happened to pa& by 
his door, he heard it open ; and, turning, 
faw a number of porters come out heavy 
laden. This gave him a kind of fufpicion . 

He 



340 The FOOL or qXJALITT* 

He let them all pafs, and walking fbftly 
after, he ftepped up to the hindmoft, and 
offered him half a crown on condition of 
his telling him where they were csurying 
thofe parcels. That I wiU, (aid the por- 
ter, for the fecret, if fuch it is, is nothing 
to me, you know. In ihort, we are car- 
rying them to the wharf to be put oft 
board a boat that waits to take them in. 

The butcher faid no more, but hurried 
away to the baker ; and, as they both nm 
to the oSkcCj they met the brewer by the 
way. They fued out their refoedive writs, 
and, taking a conftable with them, they 
ieized on good Mr. Sink, as he was ftep- 
ping into a coach and fix to make the b^ 
of his way to Dover. He would have 
paid them their money and difcharged 
their actions on the fpot ; but here the 
Matter in whom he trufted, happened to 
leave him in the lurch. As he had turned ' 
all his efre<^s into money, and his money 
into paper, he had not cafh about him 
wherewith to pay his inftant creditors. So 
they hurried him to a fponging-houfe; 
by which means the matter was Mown^ . 
and action after aftion came pouring in 
upon him, before he had time to extri* 
cate himfelf. 

When he found himfelf thus at bay, 
he caft alide his difguiie, and Xet ihem all 

at 



THt FOOL or QUALITY. 241 

ftt defiance. His creditors have fince of- 
fered to accept ten fiiillingS) and fom^ 
of them five fliil lings in the pounds but 
he fwcars, that he will never pay them 
a -groat { for he i^ now. as Jiberal. of his 
oaths ^adrioipious execrations, as he was 
lately of his more impious profanation of 
gofod^pbrafes. And thus b? .daily, ra- 
vels, in the fenfual confumption of thofe 
wretches whom he hath fo inhumanly de- 
fraudedi while hundreds of .orphans and 
widowis, and other miferables, periih for 
want of the fuftenance, which one infer- 
nal appetite devours without remorfe. 
Nay, feveral of his creditors are, at this 
very time, famiihing in this prifon, while 
they fee him feafting fo lavilhly upon thoir 
ipoils. 

My foul, cried Mr. Fenton, my very 
foul rifcs againft this daemon. Can no- 
thing be done to bring him to puniili- 
ment? Our legiflators will furely inter- 
fere in fuch a ciying exigence. Alas, 
Sir, faid Clement, he was too knowing 
in his profeffion to leave any poflibility 
of that. Every thing was fee ured. beyond 
the reach of the law. 

Indeed, continued Clement, I heartily 
wifhed, at the time, that the laws of the 
Grecians and Romans had been in force 
among us, where the debtor was given up 

Vol. III. L to 



242 The FOOL of qUALITT. 

to be fct to labour, whipped or tortured 
at the pleafurc of the creditor. 

God forbid, God forbid, exclaimed Mr. 
Fenton. 

When we fee mankind divided into 
the rich and the foor^ the ftrong and the 
*ii:caky the found and the Jickly^ we arc 
apt to imagine, that healthy firengtby or 
opulence^ was given to thofe ; and infirm' 
ty^ wivitj or weaknefs appointed to thcfc, 
as marks of the peculiar favour or dif- 
favour of Providence. 

God, however, knows, that there is no- 
thing permanently good or evil in any 
of thefe things. He fees that nothing is 
a good but virtue, and that nothing is a 
virtue, fave fome quality of benevolence. 
On benevolence, therefore, he builds the 
happinefs ot all his intelligent'creatures; 
and, in this our mortal ftate, (our fliort 
preparative for a long futurity), he has 
ordained relative differences of rich and 
foor^ ftrong and iveak^ found and fickly, &c. 
to exercife us in the offices of that charity, 
and thofc alFections, which, reflefting and 
reflefted like mutual light and warmth, 
can alone make our good to all eternity. ' j 

Benevolence produces and conftitutes 
the heaven or beatitude of God himfelf. 
He is no other than an infinite and eter- 
nal Good- will. . li\itvevoleuce muft, ther^- 



The fool ot QUALITY. 243 

fore, conftitute the beatitude or heaven 
of all dependent beings, however infinite*- 
ly diverfified through feveral departments 
and fubordinarions, agreeable to the feve- 
ral natures and capacities of creatures. 

God has appointed bwm^in poioer and 
Imman wealth as a ready and fufficient 
fuad for human want and weaknefs^ to 
"Which fund^ therefore, they have as good 
Aright to refort, as any other creditor? 
iiave to refpeftive trufts or depofits : for 
though poverty and wcaknefs are not 
creditors by the laws of man, they are 
creditors by the eternal laws ' of nature 
and equity ; and muft, here or hereafter, 
bring their debtors to account. 

Every man, when he becomes a mem- 
ber of this or that fociety, makes a depo- 
fit of three feverai forts of trufts, that of 
his life, that of his liberty, and that of 
his property. 

Now, as every man, in his feparate or 
independent ftate, has, by nature, the ab- 
folute difpofal of his property, he can con- 
vey the difpofal thereof to fociety. as 
amply and abfolutely as he was, in his fe- 
parate right, entitled thereto. 

This, however, cann6t be faid of his 
life, or of his liberty. He has no man- 
ner of right to take away his own life ; 
neither to depart from his ov^tk \fe^T\.^ \ 

L 2 V^ 



244 The FOOL of qUALlTY. 

he cannot, therefore, convey to others a 
right and authority which he has not in 
hioifelf. 

The queflion then occurs. By what 
right it is that the legiflative and exe^ 
cutive powers of community, appoint 
fome perfons to death, and others to im- 
prifonment ? My anfwer is ihort. 

It is the right, perhaps the duty of 
every man, to defend his life, liberty, 
and property, and to kill or bind the at- 
tempters. This right he can, therefore, 
convey; and, on fuch conveyance, it be- 
comes the right and duty of the trufiecs 
of fociety, to put to death, or imprifon 
all who take away, or attempt the life, 
liberty, or property of any of its mem- 
bers. 

This right, however, extends to rn- 
fninal matters only ; and it does not yet 
appear to me upon what reafbn, or right 
rule, founded in nature or policy, the 
ieveral focieties of mankind have agreed 
to deliver up their members to flavery, to 
ftripes, tortures, or imprifonment, for mat- 
ters merely civilj fuch as debts. 

Several of the ftates of Greece, though 
accounting the reft of the world as bar- 
barians ; and even the Roman republic, 
during the times of its inoft boaficd po- 
licy and freedom, gave up infolvent debt- 
ors 



t 



The FOOL of qUAHTY. 245 

ors (without inquiring into the caufes 
or occalions of fuch infolvency) as flaves, 
or abfolute property, into the hands of 
their creditors, to be fold at will, or put 
to labour, or llarved, inacerated, or tor- 
tured, in order to give value in venge- 
ince which they couFd not give in coin, 
or other equivalent commodities. 

The Jewifli or Mofaic law, though al: 
I6wing fufficiently, as Chrift fays, for 
the hardnefs of that people's hearts, yet 
gave perfect enlargement to all Jesvs who 
were bondmen, and perfeft remiflion to 
til Jews who were perfonal debtors, on 
every feventh or fabbatical year : and on 
every feventh fabbatical year, or jubilee, 
all prifons were thrown open 5 all flaves, 
though foreigners or aliens, fet at liberty ; 
and even thelands were enfranchized, how- 
ever mortgaged, or labouring under debt 
and execution ; that all things, animate 
or inanimate, might have an earneft of 
that immunity and perfeft freedom which 
God originally intended, and keeps in 
ftore for his creatures. 

The laws of iEjypt permitted no mem- 
ber to deprive the pubUc of the life, li- 
berty, or labour, of any other member, 
except he were a criminal, not fitting to 
live, or to be fnffered to walk at large. In 
all cafes of debtor and creditor, they 

L 3 equitably 



246 The fool of qUALITT. 

cquitablv appointed value for value, is 
far as the fubftance of the debtor could 
reach ; and, in cafe of infufiiciency, the 
inlolvent party was obliged to leave, in 
pledge, the muniinies, or preferved bodies 
of his dcceafed anceflors, till, by indu- 
fii y or good fortune, either he or his po- ' 
Pcritv fliould be enabled to redeem them. 
A matter of refined, as well as charitable 
• policy; as nothing was held more infa- 
d:()Us, among the Egyptians, than their 
inttbility to produce the mummies of their 
iorctatheis. 

Tlie laws of Holland, by their late 
qualifications, fcem to acknowledge the 
iniquity, or inadcquatenefs, of depriving 
a man of tht foffibility of earnings merely 
bccaule he has not an immediate ability to 
fay. Stnfible, therefore, that all men are 
debtors to God, and reciprocally de'^t- 
ors und ci editors to each other, they 
have ordained, that he who imprifons 
an iniblvtnt debtor, fliall pay the pro* 
per penalty of his malevolence or in- 
dilcretion, by maintaining the party, from 
whom he tikes the ability of maintaining 
himielf. . 

It muft be admitted, that, were our 
laws lefs fcvere with refpeft to debtors, 
V ere people Icfs afraid of a jail on failure 
of payment, there would be lefs credit,' 

and 



/ 



The fool of qUALITY. 247 

and confequently lefs dealing, in tlitis fa 
\fcrondroii fly wealthy and trading a na- 
tion. But* if our credit were lefs, fhould 
not our extravagance leiTen alfo ? Should 
we fee fuch princely tables among peo- 

{)ie of the lower clafs; fhould fo many 
iquors intoxicate a kingdom ; fhould we 
fee the value of a prince's ranfom gor- 
geoufly attiring each of our fine ladies, 
if neither merchant, butcher, brewer, 
laceman, mercer, milliner, nor tailor 
would truft ? 

Miny of our poor city-dealers are 
' yearly undone, with their families, by 
crediting perfons, who are privileged not 
ta pay^ or whofe remotenefs, or power, 
places them beyond the ixach of the 
law. 

When I was lafl at Paris, I had the 
honour to be introduced to Meffieurs 
Thimbl<f and Goofe, two tailors of qua- ; 
lity. In the courfe of converfation, iti 
happened to turn, as ufual, on the dul-^^ 
neis of the times, the deadnefs of trade, 
and delays of payment. Says Mon- ' 
lieur Thimble, I had the misfortune 
to make interefl for the new cloatli- 
ing of the laft regiments that were tranf- 
ported to Canada. But interefl was 
again to be made for the payment ; and, 
before that could be done, the officers 

L 4 ^ were 



24» The FOOL of QUALITY. 

were fhipped off, with greater value of 
my gold and filver on their backs, than, 
I am fure, they carried of their own in 
their pockets. Ambition, cried Monfieur 
le Gooie, ambition has brought me to 
the very brink of ruin : I fcomed to 
work for any thing under the degree of 
nobility, and the nobility are a lort of 
j^eople whom we can never fet our eyes 
on, except at the time wc are fitting on 
their eloaths.- 

Before money became the medium of 
commerce, the fimple bufinefs of the 
world was carried on by truck, or the 
commutation of one commodity for ano- 
ther. But when me» confented to fix 
certain rateable values upoft money, as a 
ready and portable equivalent for all forts 
of effefts, credit was confequently intro- 
duced, by the engagements of fome, to 
pay fo much money in lieu of fuch com- 
modities, or to deliver fuch or fuch com- 
modities on the advance of fo much mo- 
ney ; and ftates found it their intereft to 
fupport fuch public credit, by enforcing 
the performance of faid engagements. 

By the common hw of England, no 
pcrfon-, except the King, couW take the 
body of another in execution for debt; 
neither was this prerogative of the crown 
txteuded to the fubjecl till the ftatute of 

MirlDridge, 



a HE tOOL OF qtfALltir. 24> 

Marlbridge, chap. 1^3. in the reign erf 
Henry III. 

Many contract debts fbrough vanity, 
or intemperance ; or borrow money, or 
tstke up goods, with the intention of 
thieves and robbers, never to make re- 
turn. When fuch fufferj they fuflfer de- 
ftrvedly in expiation of their guilt. But 
there arc unavoidable damages by water, 
by fire, the cruih of power, oppreffive 
landlords, and more oppreffive lawfuits, 
death of cattle, failure of crop, failure 
6f payment in others, with thoufands of 
fuch like cafualties, whereby men may be- 
come bankrupts, and yet continue blame- 
lefs. And, in all fuch cafes^ one would 
think that the preient ruin was fufficient 
calanlity^' without the exertion of law ta 
make that ruin irreparaUe. 

As all the members of a community 
are interefted in the life, liberty, and la« 
hours of each other ; he wha puts the 
rigour of our laws in execution, by de- 
taining an infolvent brother in gaol, is 
guilty of a fourfold injury : Firft, he robs 
the community of the labours of their 
brother; fecondly, he robs his brother 
of all means of retrieving, his (battered 
fortune ; thirdly, he deprives himfelf of 
the pollibility of payment^ and^ laftly^' 

L 5 hc^ 



250 The FOOL of QUALITY. 

he lays an unneceiTary burden on the 
]:ublic, who, in charity, muft maintain 
the member whom he, in his cruelty, 
confines. 

However, fince the feverity of law is 
fuch, that he whofe .misfortunes have 
rendered him infolvent, muft make Jatis* 
faflion (for Jo the favages efteem it) by 
furrendering his body to durance for life ; 
it is furely incumbent on our Icgiflators 
and governors to make the condition of 
the unhappy fufferers as little giievous as 
may be. ^ 

But this moft Chnbftian duty» this moft 
humane of all cares, is yet to come. When 
a debtor is delivered up into the fangs 
of his gaoler, he is configned to ablo- 
lute and arbitrary flavery ; and wo be to 
the wretch whofe ^poverty may not have 
left him a fop for Cerberus. How more 
than miferable muft be the ftate of thofe 
unhappy men, who arcxfhut in from all 
pofiihle redrefs or app^ againft the de- 
fpotic treatment of their favage keepers, 
xt^hofe hearts are habitually hardened to 
all fenfe of remorfe, and whofe ears are 
Tendered callous by incefTant groans ! 

We are credibly informed, that it is 
nfual^ with fuch keepers, to amafs con* 
liderable fortunes from the wrecks of the 
vreiched j to fquceze them by cxcrbi- 

tint 



The FOOL OF qpALITY. 2511 

tant charges and illicit demands, as grapes^ 
arc fqueezed in a wine-prefs, while one 
drop remains j and then to huddle them 
togetlier inta naked walls and windowlefs 
rooms ; having gut all they can^ and no- 
thing fin-therta regard, fave the return of 
their lifeiefs bodies ta cheir creditors. 

But tell me, continued Mr, Fenton, 
were there any prifoners of confideration 
imong the confined debtors ? A few. Sir, 
Df note, and many who had been well to 
pafs in the world. ' Atiiotig thefe indeed, 
it was, that every fcene and fpecies of 
mifery was difplayed. There you might 
fee, as you have faid, numerous families 
of wretches, whofe thin and tattered gar- 
ments but ill defended their fhivering bo-^ 
dies from the iiiclemency ot elements, 
that blew through Ihattered windows, or 
came pouring from uAftaunched roofs. 

Thefe people fared incomparably worfe* 
than thofe of the vulgar herd ; for, being; 
afhimed to beg at the grates, they had 
nothing to fubiift on, fave their (canty 
portion of fuch charities as happened to be' 
fent in, from time to time, and this (carce* 
ly fupplied them with a morfel of bread 
to fupport nature ; while the recollection 
of their former affluence added (harp and 
titter poignancy to the fenfe of their pre- 

L ^ &nt 



ZS2 The FOOL of QUALITY. 

fent wants. But here comes my pu- 
pil, he wiU be more particular on fcenes 
with which his heart was ib oieltiiigly af- 
fected* 

Harry then entered, with Mrs. Clement 
careillng him on the one fide, and his old 
dependent Ned hsmging about him on the 
other. 

As fbon as Clement and his Arabella had 
embFaced, and that all were fettled and 
feated: Well, Harry,. £iid Mr. Fentoo,. 
will you ^vour us with fon^e account o£ 
your expedition ? Have you ever a pretty 
fiory for me, my Harry ? Several fiories^ 
Sir, faid Harry^ that were fweet pretty 
fiories when I heard them ; but Mr. Qe^ 
ment had better tell them ; they would be 
fadly bungled if they came through my 
handS) dada. The company wiU make 
allowances, replied Mr. Fenton ; let us 
have thefe flc»:ies in your own way, Har- 
ry, jufi as your memory may. happen to 
ferve you.. 

Qn the fecond day, dada, as my tu- 
tor and I were walking in the court-yard 
of the Fleet prifon, whoihould I fpy but 
my old matter, Mr. A^index, walking, very 
fad, to and again by the wall ? He was 
fo pale and fhabby, and fo fallen away, 
^kbat 1 did not rightly know him, till I 

ktoked 



The fool of qUALITY. 25J 

looked at him vety earneftly. My heart 
then began to foften and warm toward the 
poor man ; for it told me, that fomething 
very forrowful muft have happened be- 
fore he could have been brought to that 
condition. So I went- up to him, with 
a face, I believe, as melancholy as his- 
own. 

How do you do, good Mr. Vindex ? 
faidl. I fhould be glad to fee you, if I did 
not fee you look fo fad. He then ftared 
at me for fome time, and, at length, re- 
membering me, he looked concerned ; and 
turned away to ihun me ; but 1 took him^ 
lovingly by the hand, and faid. You vnu& 
not leave me, Mr. Vindex ; will not yoi> 
know your old fcholar, Harry Fenton ? 
Yes, fays he, cafting down his mournful 
eyes, I know you now, Mafter ; 1 know 
I ufed you balely, and I know why you 
are come ; but reproach me and infult 
me as much as you pleafe, all is welcome 
now, fince I cannot lie lower till I am laid 
i(i the earth.. 

I do not mean to infult you ; this tear 
will witnefs for me, that 1 do not mean to 
infult you, my dear Mr. Vindex ; and fo 
I wiped my eye. . Here are twenty gui- 
neas to put warm cloaths upon you in 
this cold weather. Little and low as I* 

am« 



^». . •- 



2J4 The FOOL of qUALITY, 

am myfelf, I will try to do fomething bet* 
ter for you, and fo give me one kifs in 
token that we are tiiends. 

The poor dear man then opened his 
broad eyes, in a wild ftare upon me, with 
a look that was made up half of joy and 
half of Ihame. He then kneeled down, 
as I fuppofed, that I might reach to kiis 
liim, and, taking me into his arms. You 
are not born of woman, you are an angel, 
an angel, he cried ; and fo he fell a-cry- 
ing, and cried fo fadly, that I could not, 
for my heart, but keep him company. 

I did all 1 could to pacify and make 
him chearful ; and getting him upatlaft. 
You muft not part with me, Mr. Vindex, 
faid I, we muft dine and fpend the day 
together. Here is Mr. Clement, my tu- 
tor, you and he too muft be friends. 

I then led him by the hand into a large 
ground- room that Mr. Clofe, the 'keeper, 
had appointed for us ; and I ordered 
dinner to be hafiened and bn ught up. 
As foon as we were all feated, I began 
to laugh and joke after my foolifh way,^ 
in order to make poor Mr. Vindex mer- 
ry. When I found that it would not do, 
Mr. Vindex, (aid I, be fo kind to let me 
know what the money may come to for 
which you are confined. A terrible fum, 
indeed) my darlings (aid he ; no lefs than 

an 



The fool of QUALITY. 255 

an hundred fifty-two pounds. I then put 
my band in my pocket, and taking out 
two bills and a little matter of money 
that made up the fum, I put it into his 
hand, faying, My. friend ihall never lie ia 
gapl for fuch a trifle as this. 

Having looked for fome time at the 
bills with amazement, he turned to my 
tutor with a doubtful and fhamed face ;. 
Is this young Gentleman, Sir, faid he, 
duly authoriied to difpofe of fuch vaft: 
matters as thefe? He is, faid Mr. Cle* 
, ment, he is the carver and difpofer of his* 
father's fortune at plealure ; and I am con- 
fident that his father will think himfel£ 
doubly paid in the ule that his noble foa 
has made of his privilege this day. 

A gleam then, like that of funihine,. 
broke through his fad countenance, a& 
through the clouds of a dark day ; And> 
are you the one, he cried, are you the one. 
Ma Iter Harry, whom 1 treated lo barba- 
roufly ? You may forgive me, my little 
cherubim, you indeed may forgive me, 
but 1 never, 1 never ihall forgive mylelf. 
O, Mr. Vindex, faid 1, I would very 
nearly undergo the fame whipping again, 
to do you twice the kindnefs, and make 
you love me twice as much as you now 
love me. 

J>ixmefi 



as6 The FOOL of qUALITY. 

Dinner was now ferved ; and calling, 
for wise, I filled him a bumper, in a large 
glafs, which he drank to the health of 
my glorious dada, as he called you. Sir. 
Upon this we grew very merry and friend- 
ly among one another ; and, when din- 
dcr was over, I begged him to tell me 
how he came to be put inta confine- 
ment* 

O, Mafter Harry, he aned, I have fuf- 
fered all that I have fuffered very judly, 
very juftly, for my harfh and cruel ufage 
of you, Mailer Harry. 

After the affair of the hobgoblins^ as 
you know, the fliame to which I was pot 
by my fright, and by my fcoorging, be- 
gan to be whifpered, and then to be noifed 
about the town. The boys, at length, 
catched the rumour, and began to hoot 
at me ; and the more I chauifed them^ 
the mdre they gathered about me, and 
fliouted after me, A rod for the flogger, z 
rod for the flogger ! 

No difeafe is fo deadly^ no blading io 
baneful, as contempt to a man in the 
way of his profeffion. My boys grew dif- 
orderly, and behaved themfelves in fchool^ 
without refpecl: to my perfon, or regard 
to my government. Even my intimates 
ihunned me, and would caft at me a (id&- 
glaace of imiling fcorn as they pafled^ 

My 



The fool of QUALITY. 257 

My fchooJ then melted from me like 
fnow in a fog. Even my boarders for- 
fook me. I ftood at a high rent; my 
efFefts were feized by the landlord . It was 
in vain that I folicited payment from the 
parents of my fcholars. No one who was 
mdebted to me would give me a penny ; 
while all that I owed came like a tumbling 
houfe upon me ; and fo I was cafi into 
this prifon, from whence your bounty has 
fet me free. 

My poor broken-hearted wife would 
have accompanied me to gaol ; but, as I 
had not whei^e withal to give hera morfel f 
of bread, I fent her to an old aunt, who 
had the humanity to take her in. 

Alas, alas, poor Mr. Vindex, faid I, had 
I guefled any part of the mifchiefs that 
our unlucky pranks have brought upon- 
you, I would have put both my nands in- 
to the fru'nace of Nebuchadnezzar, rather ' 
than have borne a part in fuch a wicked- 
ncfs. For herein we afted the fable of 
the frogs and the boys ; that which was 
play to us, was death to you, Mr. Vindex* 

Li confcience, now, we are indebted to 

you for every misfortune we caufed you ; 

and, as you are not yet paid for the half' 

of your fuflFerings, T here give you my 

hand and word to make up a hundred 

and £fty pounds more for you ; and for 

this 



ft58 The FOOL of qUALITY. 

this I will not accept the fmalleft thanks, 
as I think it is no more than an acl of 
common honcily. And I, cried Mr. Fen- 
ton, I hold my felf indebted to you a thou* 
.fand pounds, my noble Harry, for that 
fingle fentiment. That is well, .that is 
well, dada, cried Harry, leaping up and 
clapping his hands, I fhall now be clear 
in the world with all my poor creditors. 

Thus, dada, continued he, it rejoiced 
my heart greitly to fend poor Mr. Vin- 
dex away in fuch triumph ; while ray 
tutor and I went two or three doors off, 
to fee a mighty pretty young creature who 
was faid to bp confined with her ancient 
father. And I will t';ll you their ftory, 
with two or three other (lories, more on 
account of the incidents that happened 
while we;wcre there, than of any thing 
elfe that Was wonderful or uncommon in 
them. 

On tapping at the door, we were defi- 
red to walk in, and faw a female with her 
back to us, weaving bone-lace on a cu- 
fhion J while an elderly man, with fpcc- 
tacles on, read to her in Thomas ^ Kempis. 
They both rofe to faJute us. Mr, Cle- 
ment then ftepped up, and, feeing what 
they were about, cried, God cannot but 
prolper your work, good people, fince 
you employ your time to his purpoi'es, 

both 



The fool of qUALITY. 2$^ 

m 

both on,, earth and in heaven. As an 
earned oF his kindnefs to you, he fends 
you, by us, a confidef able charity, which 
you flxall receive as foon as you inform, 
us who, and what you are, and how you 
came here ? Bleffed be the meffengers of 
my God, cried out the father, whether they 
come with happy or with heavy tidings,, 
I fay with old EU, // is the Lord^ let. him 
do what feemeth him good. 

O, dada ! I was quite charmed when 
the daughter turned to me.. There was 
fuch a Iweetnefs, fuch a heavenly harm- 
leiTncfs in her face, that 1 could have^ 
kifTed her, and kiifed her again and 
again. 

As I had brought a glafs and the re* 
mainder of our bottl&«««rith me, we all 

got about a board that was half-ftool and 
alf-table, and, after a round or two, the 
good nun began his flory. 

My father's name was Samuel Stem. 
He Jiad a clear eft ate of nine hundred and 
fifty pounds a-year, in Suflcx ; and had, by 
my mother, three daughters and four 
fons, of whom I was the fecond. 

My father, unhappily, was a loyalift, 
and when the troubles broke out between 
King Charles and the parliament, he took 
up all the money he could, at uiy intcreil, 
and raifed a company at hii own cod, 

which 



26o The FOOL of qUALITY. 

which he headed on the part of his royal 
mafter. 

After fomc fuccefsftil (kirmifhes, his 
head was fplit by the broad fword of a 
trooper, at the battle of Nailby. Im- 
mediately all our fervants forfook us, each 
carrying away with them whatever came 
to hand ; and, quickly after, the ioldicrs 
of the commonwealth came, drove off all 
the cattle, and left nothing of our houfe 
except the bare walls. 

In the mean time we, poor children, 
huddled together into the garden, and, 
there feparatin?^ ran and crept under 
bufhes and hedges, as fa many chickens 
endeavouring to gain ihelter from the 
kite. 

As foon as the nnife of the tumult was 
over, we arofe, and looked about fearfully, 
and, getting together again, we helpol 
one another through the garden -hedge, 
and made, as faft as we could, to the 
cottage of a neighbouring farmer, who 
had been our father's tenant. Here we 
were received coldly, and fared but very 
hardly for that night. On the next day, 
however, in order to get quit of us, as I 
fuppofe, the man went among our fda- 
tions, and prevailed on one to take a fon, 
and on another to take a daughter, till we 
were all divided among them j and fo we 

entered 



The pool of QUALITY. 261 

f 

entered on a kiqd of ferviee to our kin- 
dred ; a fervice, as I believe, that is found, 
on experience, to be much harder, and 
more infulting, than any fervice to a 
ftranger. 

I forgot to tell you, Gentlemen, that 
our mother died before, our father en- 
gaged in arms, infomuch that we became 
orphans in all refpe6):s. I fell to the 
Ihare of an uncle by my nlother's fide. 
He had a fmall eftate of about a hundred 
and twenty pounds yearly income, with 
one fon, and a daughter whom I thought 
very lovely. 

My uncle appointed me overfeer of his 
labourers, as alfo his occafional clerk, for 
cafling accounts, and inditing his letters, 
^c. ; but . when it was intimated to him 
that there was a fecret liking between his 
daughter and me, he called me afide, and 
taking up a book of profane poems, he 
kiffed it, and fwore by the contents there- 
of, that, if ever I married his daughter, 
he would not give us a groat. 

If you ever knew what love was, faid 
he to Mr. Clement, you muft know that 
it breaks over ftronger fences than thefe. 
In Ihort, we were wedded, and^turned out 
of the houfe without any thing to live 
upon, except about the value of twenty 
pounds, in linall matters, which had been 

given 



a6i The FOOL of <^ALITT. 

given to my wife, from time to time, by 
I^idy Goodly, her godmother. 

We made the bcu of our way to Lon- 
don. My wife underftood needlework} 
and as I knew that my father-in-law was 
quite i)[Teconcileable, I joined myfelf to a 
houfe-^ainter, to whom I gave my time 
for nothing, on condition of his giving mc 
an infight into his bufinefs. 

In the third year my dear wife brought 
this poor creature into the world ; but, 
happily, ihe did not encumber mankind 
with any more of our wretched and de- 
pending progeny. 

' All our care and delight was jGxed on 
this our little daugfiter, and wc thought 
nothing of any pains or labours that 
might ferve to introduce her, like hcrfelf, 
into the world. 

As foon as Charles II. had afcended the 
throne, our relations were fully affurcd 
that we fliould be reftored to our ancient 
rights and pofleflions ; and they contri- 
buted, as it were, for their own credit, to 
fet us forth in a fui table manner for ap- 
pearing at court. 1 here accordingly wc 
attended, from time to time, for the fpace 
of twelvd months, and got a number of 
woful memorials prefented to his Majefty ; 
but his Majefty was fo deeply engaged in 
his pleafures, or fo fe;)crf\)A.o€ offending the 



The fool of. (QUALITY. 26^ 

enemies of his houfe, that he gave no 
attention to our wrongs. There may 
aifo be fomething in the breafis of the 
great that excites them to ads of bounty 
rather than ads of jullice ; for thefe, as 
they apprehend, might be accepted as 
matter of debt, and not as matter of fa- 
vour. 

, Being'tired of afruitlefs fuit, I returned 
to my former employment, and, by in- 
duftry and frugality, I lived with my 
little family quite happy and contented. 

About ten months ago two men came 
tQ our lodgings. The one was in a rich 
livery, and having inquired for my 
daughter, prefented her with a note to 
this effect. — " Lady Diana Templar fends 
Diana Stern the inclofed bill of twenty- 
five pounds, in order to put her into 
fome little way of livelihood." — As my 
poor dear child had no caufe to fufpeft 
any fraud or evil intention in the cafe, fhe 
defircd the men to return her moft humble 
thanks and duty to her Ladyfhip, and 
aNvay they went. 

As this lady was a diftant relation of 
my wife's father, my daughter, in a few 
days, dreffcd herfelf in her beft cloaths, 
and went to return thanks to her Lady- 
fhip in perfon, but was told that ihe 
was gone to her feat in the co\xckfcpj. 



«<4 The FOOL of qtJALITT. 

In the mean time fhe laid out her fup* 
pofed bounty in furnifhing a little ihop 
with fome millinery wares,: and was al- 
ready beginning to get fome cuftoDii 
when one evening two bailiflTs entered, 
arretted her, and, taking her up in thdr 
arms, hurried her into a coach that drove 
up to the door. 

My wife and I had ruflied out on hear- 
ing OUF child Ihriek, and feeing a coach iet 
off with her at a great rate, we ran after as 
fail as we could, fhouting, and fcreamiog, 
and crying, Stop the coach, flop the coach, 
a rape, a rape ! At length a bold fellow, 
who was pafling, caught one of the hor- 
fes by the bridle, and, while the coach- 
men lafhed at him, he took out his knife 
and cut the reins in two. A mob then 
began to gather ; whereupon a well-dreff- 
cd man, who was in the coach, leaped 
out and made his cfcape ; but tne coach- 
man was not fo lucky, the people pulled 
him from the box, and having beaten and 
kicked him, they dragged him through 
the kennel. 

Mean while we got our child out ; and 
then the mob overturned the coach, and, 
jumping upon it, broke and dafhed it all 
to pieces. We then thought that we had 
nothing further to apprehend, and, ta- 
king our child between us, we turned 

back 



The FOOL OF qUALITY. 265 

back, anid walked homeward ; but, alas ! 
we were not permitted to enter ; the two 
bailiffs met us, and, producing their writ, 
again arretted our daughter at the fuit, as 
they faid, of Jonathan Delvil, Efq; for the 
fum of twepty-five pounds, which he had 
lci;it her on fuch a day.^ So they conduct- 
ed her here, while my wife and J accom- 
panied her, weeping and fobbing all the 
way. 

I then took thde poor apartments to 
cover us from the weather; and as my 
wife grew fuddcnly lick, and feint, 1 ha- 
ftened back to our lodgings, arid had our 
bedding brought hidier. 

It was now evident, that the pretended 
gift of Lady Templar was no other than 
a'^abelical fcheme of the villain Delvil, 
to giet the perfon of my darling within his 
fengs ; and I eurfed my own ftupidity for 
not perceiving it at firft; but bldfcd be 
my God, however, in all events, that 
my lamb was ftill innocent, was ftill un- 
Aillied. 

What with grief and the fright toge- 
ther, my dear wife took to her bed, from 
whence Ihe never rofe, but expired on the 
fifth day, bleffing and preffing her daugh- 
ter to her bolbm. My poor infant then 
fell as dead befide her mother, and could 
not be recovered from her fit in many 

Vol. III. M hours ^ 



atStJ The FOOL oi QUALITY. 

iiours ; and indeed it was then the wiih 
and the prayer of my foul, that we might 
all be hid and forgotten in one grave to- 
gether. 

As foon as my darling was recovered, 
however, I again wiihed to live for her 
fake, that I might not leave her without 
a comforter or proteAor, in the niidil of a 
mercilcis and wicked world. 

In order to pay the nurfe, the doclor,^ 
and apothecary, as alfo to defray the fu- 
neral cxpences, I left my child with the 
jDurfe, and, going to our former lodgings, 
1 fold d}\ her millinery wares under prioie 
cell ; and having diicharged the lodgings, 
and paid my gaol-debts, I piepaied to 
lay my precious depofit in the womb of 
that earth, which is one day to render her 
b2ck incorruptible to eternity. 

When the corpfe was carrying out at 
the door, my child fell once more into fits, 
and I was divided and quite diltra^ed 
about what I fhould do, whether to flay 
with the living, or pay my duty to the 
dead. But I will no longer detain you 
with melancholy matters, lince all woi Idly 
griefs, with all worldly joys alio, mull 
Ihortly be done away. 

As loon as I undei flood that Lady 
Templar \\as returned to town, I waited- 



The tool of QUALITY, 26^ 

?tipon her, and giving her an abridgment 
of o»r manifold misfortunes, I produced 
the note that had been written in her 
name ; but HSk coldly replied, that it was 
not her hand, and that {he was not an* 
fwerablc for the. frauds or villanies of 
others. 

Mean while my dear girl accufed her- 
felf as the caufe of all our calamities, and 
pined away, on that account, as pale as 
the fheets Ihe lay in. She was alfo fo 
enfeebled by her faintifli and fickfits, that 
-fhe was not able to make a third of her 
ufual earnings ; and as I, on my part, 
was alfo difqualified from l^ouring in my 
♦profeffion, lince I did not dare to leave 
my child alone and unlheltered, we were 
reduced to a ft ate of the greatell ex- 
tremity. 

One day word was brought me, that a 
gentleman, a few doors o£F, delired to* 
^eak with me ;• and as they who are 
iinking, catch at any thing for their fup- 
port, my heart fluttered in the hope of 
ibme happy reverie. ' Accordingly I fol- 
lowed the meffenger. His appearance, in 
drefs and perfon, was altogether chat of 
a Gentleman. 

He ordered all others out of tbe room, 
and requefting me to (it beiide him, in a 
half-whiipering voice he bega.i\\ \ ^ 

M 2 ^vAXi^^ 



;uJ8 The FOOL of QXJAilTT^ 

come, Mn Stern, frcnn one whom you 
have great reafon to account your greateft 
enemy, 1 come from Mr. Ddvil, at ^ofe 
fuit your daughter now lies in prifon. I 
fiarted. — Be patient. Sir, he faid. He 
know« your difirefles, he Jcnows all your 
wants, lie knows alfo that he is the author 
of them ; yet I tejl you that he feels thera, 
as if they were his own, and that it was 
not his enmity, but his love that occailoa- 
cd them. 

He dicpends on his old uncle Dimmock 
for a vafl fortune. He faw your daugb* 
ter, and loved her; he faw her again, and 
lo\cd her to niadnefs. He inquired her 
family, her character, and found that he 
had nothing to expecl from any licentious 
propofal. lie feared, however, that all 
mull love her as he did ; and, to prevent 
other ,piratcg, he made ufe of the ftrata- 
gem, which, contrary to his intentional, 
has brought you here. He never meant 
any thing difhonourable by your daugh- 
ter. Had he carried her jclear oflF, you 
might all have been happy together at 
this day; and, if you confent, he will 
niarry her here, in the prefcnce of a few 
witncffes, who (hall be fworn to fecrecy 
till his uncle's death, and he will inf^ant- 
ly pay you down three hundred pounds 
in recompenfe for your fufferings, and 

wiU 



The F^OOL of QTJALITY. 2?Jj? 

Will Settle one hundred pounds annuity oti' 
you^child for life, 

I muft own; that, to one in'my circum- 
ftances,. this propofal had fomething very' 
tempting in it. But who is this Mr. Del- 
vil ? faid I, Iknow him not, I never faW 
him. — I am the man. Sir, faid he. I* 
Would have difchargcd my acHon as I 
came to this place, but I dart not permit' 
your daughter to get out of my cuftody ; 
tor, at the lofs of my fortune, atvthe lofs 
<rf my life, I am determined that no othe^ 
lAan living (hall poflefs her. I then pro- 
mifed him, that I would makfe a faithful 
narrativrto mychild of all that had paffed ; 
but told him, at the* fame time, that I 
■would wholly fubfcribc to her pleafurej 
and fo we parted. 

As foon as I reprefented* this* matter to' 
my Diana, O no, my papa, flie cried, it 
is impoflible! it never can bei 1 would do 
any thing, futFer any thing, but this, for 
your relief. Would you act the marriage 
of the lamb and the wolf in the fable ? If 
fach have been the confequcnces of this 
gentleman's affection for us, what have 
we not to expect from the efFccfts of his 
averfion ? I would prefer any kind of 
death to a life with fuch a man. And 
then my mother, Ihe cried, and bUrft into^ 
tear<, my dear mother whom he has m«r- 

M 3 dcred I 



270 TiJE FOOL or qUALrTY* 

dered ! Though he were wocth half the. 
workl, and would marry me publicly in 
the face of the other half; it will not be! 
it cannot be^ indeed^ my papa ! 

Hereupon I wrote Mr. Delvil almoft a 

literal account of my daughter's anfwer^ 

It is nearly five weeks fince this happen- 

. ed, and we havje not heaixi iny thing fur* 

thcr from him. 

In this time, however^ we got acquaint- 
ed uith a family at the next door, whofe 
converfe has been a great confolation to 
us. There Is a father and mother, with 
fe\'en fmall children, boys and gii Is ; they 
aie vciy wurtliy people, and- of noble 
defcent, but how they contrive to live at 
all, I cannot conceive, for they have no 
viiible means of making a penny. Had' 
we not known them, we (hould have 
thought ourfelves the.poorefi of all crea* 
tures. We mud own them more defer- 
ving of your charity than we are. 

Here poor Mr. Stem ended ; and you 
cannot think, dada, how my heart leaped 
with love toward him, on his recom*^ 
mending others as more deferving than 
himfelf. So I refolvcd at once what to 
do ; and taking two fifty pound notes from 
my pocket book. You fhall not be under 
th^ nccefTity, Mr. Stern, fays I, of mar- 
i)ing )our pi city Lmb here to the ugly 



The fool of QtJALITY. 271^ 

wolf, fo hwe is fifty pounds to pay you^ 
a^lion and feesv and other fmall debts. 

On taking the note, dada, he looked' 
at it very earneftly ; and when he faw it 
was a true note, he opened his eyes and- 
his mouth fo wide, and flood foftiffV with- 
out ftirring h^nd or foot, that he put me 
in mind of Lofs wife who was turned into^ 
a pillar of falt^ However, I did not feem* 
to mind him ; but, turning to his daugh- 
ter, and flicwing her the other note, Mifs 
Diana, fays 1, here are fifty pounds for 
you alibi in order to fet you up in your 
little Ihop again ; but you {hall not have 
it without a certain condition. What con- 
dition, Maftcr ? faid Ihe, fmiling. The 
condition, fays I, of putting your arms a- 
bout my neck, arid giving me one or two 
Iweet kiffes. She then looked earneftly at 
me, with eyes fwimmingin* pleafure, and 
ftarting fuddenly to mej and catching me 
to her bofom, flie kifled my lips, and my 
forehead, and my head, again and again y 
and then fet up as lamentable and loud a* 
cry as if her father had lain a corpfe bc^. 
fore her. 

Mr. Stem then lifted up his eyes, and^ 
dropping on his knees, O my God ! he 
cried, how bountiful art thou to a wretch^ 
who is not worthy the leaft of all thy 
laercies ! Hereupon the daughter turnedy. 

M 4 and,; 



«72 The FOOL of qUALITT. 

and, feeing the pofture of her father, ihi 
fell on her knees before him, and throw- 
ing her arms about him, be folded her in 
his alfo,. and they wept plentifully, upoa 
each othen. 

How comes it, dada, that crying ihould 
be fo catching ? However jt bie, Mr. Qe- 
ment and I could not contiOn, and 1 (ball 
love him the better during life for the 
tears that he ihed on that occafion. 

On hearing a finart rapping, Mr. Stem 
rofe and opened the door, where a foot- 
man, almoft breathlefs, delivered hioi a 
letter. The letter was to this purpofe^ 
th^t^4r. Dejvil was ill of aquinfy, tbat 
he had but a few hours to live, and re? 
qiiefied Mr. Stem to bring his daughter ta 
Mm, that, by marriage, he might give 
her a lawful title to his fortune. No, 
papa, cried Diana, living or dead, nothing 
fhall ever bribe me to give my hand to a 
man who has been the caufe of the death 
of my deareft mother. 

Mr. Clement, however, thought it ad» 
vifable that Mr. Stern iliould attend the 
nr.effenger, to fee if Mr. Delvil was really 
ill, or whether this might not be fome new- 
lontrived treachery. 

Tills was a day of fuccefles to poon 
Mr. Sctrn. We had promifed to ftay- 
\ iih hio Diaua till his return -, and be had 

nut 



Th'e pool of quality. 275; 

not been long gone till fome one tapped 
at the door, 1 opened it, and faw an ex- 
ceeding old and reverend man ; he was- 
drefled all in black, and his wiiite head 
looked like fnowon the feathers of the ra- 
ven. IsTom Stern here? faid lie. No, Sir, . 
faid I, he is gone into town. I thought 
1^ was a prifonerr- No, Sir, it is not he, 
but his daughter, who is under confine- 
ment. Will you give a feeble old man- 
leave to fit with you. Gentlemen ? and fo 
down he fat. Come here tome, child, 
lays he to Diana, are you a daughter of^ 
Tom Stern? I am,. Sir,l ib pleafe you.' 
And what was your niothcr's name ? 
Anne Roche, Sir; but alas! flie is^ not 
living, I was the caufe of her death, Ihe 
broke her heart, good Sir, on my being; 
pint to gaol. I hope, child, faid the old. 
Gentleman, that you were not imprifoned ^ 
for any thing that was naughty. No, Sir, . 
no, cried Mr. Clement, it was her ho-; 
nefly alone that brought and kept her 
here ; had flic been Yefs virtuous, fhe 
might have been at liberty and flaunting, 
about in her coacb. 

The old man theti put on his fpeda* 
cTes, and ordering her to draw nearer, .he ; 
tpok a hand in each of his, and looking . 
intently in her face, . What is ypujr name, » 
my dear? faid he. l)iana, honoured Sin ^ 

M 5 That: 



274 The FOOL of qiTALlTY. 

That is a pretty and cHafle name, for an 
uncliriftian name. Indeed, Diana, you 
arc a fwect babe, and tiie prettied little 
pnibner that ever I faw. 1 wiJl pay all 
your debts, and giv£ yoii a thoufand 
pounds over, if you will come along with 
ine and be my prifoner, Diana. Ah, 
Sir, cried the girl, it is too much to have 
broken the heart of one parent already ; 
I would not leave my dear father for any 
man with all tire money in all the world.. 
You do not leave your father, he cried, 
by going with me, Diana. I am your 
true father, the father of Nanny Roche,, 
the father of Kcr who bore you, your 
own grandfather, my Diana. 

Here Ihc funk on her knees, between 
Ims knees, begging and befeeching his 
Weffing ; while his hands and eyes were, 
lifted in prayer over her. He then raifed 
her, and placing her gently on his knee, 
clafped her in his aged arms ; while ihe 
threw hers about his neck^ and joining 
her cheek to bis, fobbed aloud, and pour- 
ed her tears into his bofom. The old 
gentleman, however, did not e:xprefs his 
concern by word, or fob, or even any 
change of his countenance ; and yet Im 
tears fell faft down his reverend and de- 
lighted icattu-es, upon his grandchild. 



The fool of QUx\LITY. 275^: 

This, dada, was a very plcafing, though 
a' very afl'ecling fight. As foon as the 
height of their paflion was fomething 
abated, Mifs Diana turned her eye to- 
ward me, and faid, You were pleafed, my 
grandpapa, to promife that you would 
pay my debts : but that is done already. 
This angel here was fent to prevent all 
others, and he further prefen ted nie with 
this bill of fifty pounds to fet me up in a^ 
better Ihop than I kept before. 

I rejoice, cried the old man, I rejoice' 
to find that fo much of heaven is ftill 
left upon earth. But you, my Diana, 
are now in a condition rather to give cha- 
rity than receive it from any. Your dear 
uncle Jeremy, who traded to the Weft 
Indies, lately died of the fmall-pox on his 
paffage homeward . You are the heir of 
his fortunes, and the heir of my fortune ; 
you are the whole and fole lady of all 
our poffeffions. But tell me, how much 
did this young gentleman advance in your * 
favour ? A hundred pounds. Sir. 

He then took out a bank-note of a 
hundred pounds, and having offered it 
to mc, I. did not dare to refufe it, for 
fear of offending the honour of the re- 
i^jieAable old gentlen^an ; fo I held it in 
my hand after a doubting manner. My 
dear Mifs Diana, fays I, I will not be - 

M6 put 



ziSThe fool oe quALrxY. 

pur to tlie pain of taking this back agakii. 
I'l t on the condition of your telling me. 
to whom I ihall give it ? 0,"fhe cried out 
infiantly, to the babies, to the fweet babies 
dt the next door ; I wiih to heaven Ihad. 
as much more to add to it for their 
lakes. 

I then inquired the name of her fa- 
vourite family at the next door, and be- 
ing told that it was Ruth, I looked over 
my lift, and found that Mr. Ruth was in 
for above feven hundred pounds. This 
grieved me very much, as fuch a fum. 
iiearly amounted to the half of our whole- 
fiock. However, I comforted myfelf with, 
the hope that God would fend fome one. 
elfe to make up to this poor family what 
ftould be wanting on my part. . 

Mr. 5 tern juft then returned. I beg 
pardon, faid he. Gentlemen, for detain- 
ing you fo long, but I. could not avoid it^ 
7he unhappy m^n is aftually dying, a 
very terrible death, indeed, in liis full, 
ftrcngth, and almoft in his full health, 
ftifling. and gafping for air, which the 
fwelling of his glands will not fuffbr. ta 
]>afs. 

As fdon as T entered, he beckoned ta 
me, and put. this paper, fealed, into my. 
hand. And again, ohferving that 1 wa& 
agitated, and. deeply concerned for the 

ftaxc 



The fool of QITALITT. 277:' 

fiate under which he lahoured, he reach- 
ed out his hand to me, and-, grafping my» 
right hand, put this ring upon my fin^ 
ger. — This paper contains, under his* 
hand and feal, a^ difcharge of the action: 
which he laid upoamy daughter, as alfo 
a conveyance ta us of the cafli-notes^ 
ihclofed, amounting to three hundred 
pounds, in coi\iideration, as he recites,, 
of our lofles and unjuft fufferings. And 
fo, my dear Mafter Eenton, I. here return, 
you your hundred pounds with all pof- 
fible acknowledgments, and afenfe of the. 
obligation that will never, leave me du- 
ring life.. 

Sir, faid I, you mufl excufe me, lanw 
already paid. That gentleman, yonder,^ 
compelled me to accept of the very fum. 
you ojffer, 

Mr. Stem then ftarted, and, turning,. 
he faw his uncle ; and, eying him inqui- 
fitively, at length recoUefted who he was,- 
He then ftepped up, and falling on his* 
knees befouc him, O, Sir, he cried, ypur^ 
pardon, your pardon !. It is all I preiume. 
to ztkj I dare not hope for your bleffing*,. 

Tom, iaid the old gentleman,.!.. want- 
ed to be even with you ; I wanted to fe- 
duce your daughter, as you feduced mine- 
But your daughter, Tom, though comci 
of. very rebelliuus parents, . would not he^ 



^78 The FOOL of qUALITY. 

fed need. Howfomev^, as I have taken* 
a likinpf to her, fhc muft come along with 
me whether flie will or no. And, as Ja- 
cob (aid to Jofeph concerning Ephrarm 
and Manaffeh, flie (hall be mine, and not 
thine, Tom ; and my name and the name 
of my fathers fliall be named upon her, 
according to her inheritance. But if you 
have any affeclion for this my child, Tomy 
and are unwilling to part with her, you^ 
may follow her and welcome. 

Soon after we got up, and, having 
congratulated this happy family on tlie 
bleffing of their n>eeting and reconcilia- 
tion, r ftepped to the old gentleman, 
aiad, catching him about the neck, ten- 
derly took my leave of him, as I did alfo- 
of Mr, Stem. But when I went to take 
leave of the fair Diana,, flie drew fomc 
fteps backward, and her eyes and fweet 
features beginning to fwell, flie again run 
forward, and, catching me in her dear 
arms, O my darling ! my darling! my dar- 
linglflie cried, am I then going to lofe you, 
it may be, never to fee you more ! Were 
it but once in a week, in a months in a 
year to behoM you, even that would keep 
me alive. Omybeft, my mofl: generous, 
my firft prefcrver, it is you who might 
be the feducer, who might make me and- 
others to run after you barefoot. But if 



The fool of QUALITY. 279, 

we miift part, my little angel ! do but 
protnife to know me in heaven, and there- 
your poor Diana will meet you, never to^ 
part any more. 

What could I fay or do,, dada^ in an^ 
fwer to the dear girl ? My heart fwelled,. 
alnioft to burfting,. while Ihe carefled andi 
wept over me. At length, with words^ 
as well as' my tears would give me leave, 
to pronounce them, I demanded the name: 
of the place to which flie was going*, and 
promifed to pay her a vifit as foon asr 
poffibly I could. We then parted very 
melancholy, notwithftanding all our fuc- 
cefs ; and, going out, I wiped my eyes^ 
and begged Mr. Clement to order tea and 
coffee^ with a comfortable entertainment, 
for the family at the next door,- while I ; 
ihould go in and introduce myfelf as welL 
as I could. 

Having tapped gently at the door, ifc 
was opened by a little ragged boy of about: 
five years old. Mrs. Ruth ftt full in my- 
view, and her three little daughters ftood^ 
before her, while ihe examined them, in 
die Ord-Tcftament queftions, of who was* 
the firft man, and the wifeftman, and ther 
firongeft man, and the oldeft man, and,, 
above all, the man after God's own heart ?. 

Mrs. Ruth was a fine woman, aud.had^- 
a gjTcat deal of humbled dignity about hen . 



s3o r\iz FOOL OF qnJALITY. 

I bowed to her as 1 entered, and, goin:^- 
familiarly up, I took her by the hand anvi 
kiflcd !£• Allow me, Midam, faid I, to 
introduce a little neighbour to vou ; I 
lodge within a few doors, and ihill think 
myfelf happy in being acquainted in your 
family. Alas, my dear, fays fliCy there 
are very few who feek acquaintance with- 
calamity. They who wifli to relieve it 
feek acquaintance with it. Madam. 

Having eyed me all over with an ear- 
ncft kind of furprife. You look, my love,, 
faid Ihe, to be very good-natured, and I 
dare fay will be very charitable when you. 
come to have the ability. The little abi- 
lity I have. Madam, fhall be ftrained for 
your fervice. In the mean time, pray 
pardon the freedom I have taken in or- 
dering tea and coffee into your room, with 
fome cakes and fweetmeats for thefe pret- 
ty Mifles. 1 will only trouble you. Ma- 
dam, with one guefl more ; it is Mr. Cle- 
ment, my tutor, wboy- good man, has 
been no flranger to poverty or diflrefs. 

Here fhe called Mr. Ruth from an inner 
room. Give me leave,^ my dear, fays (he, 
to introduce a young flranger to you; 
from what world he comes, I know not^i 
but I am fure that he is not wholly of the. 
'World that we have lived in* 

Mr*, 



The pool ckf qUALITT: iSt 

Mr. Ruth's countenance fpoke at once 
the meeknefs of Mofes,.and the patience of 
job. Having faluted, we both fat down* 
Mr. Ruth, faid I, I have a meflage to yoa 
and your Lady from your fweet pretty, 
neighbour, Mifs Diana Stern. 4n token. 
of her refpeft and afFedion for yoa, flie v 
prefents you with this cafli-note of a hun- 
dred pounds. Diana Stern ! cried out 
Mr. Ruth, why^ Mafter, fhe is nearly aa 
poor as ourfelves.. By no means. Sir, I 
afTure you ; her grandfather is come to 
town, fhe is worth feveral thoufands, be- 
fides a confiderable eilate to which fhe i& 
heirefsi. O, the dear angel ! crrd Mi's* 
Ruth ; 1 will inftantly go and pay ber my 
acknowledgments ; fo up fhe got, and. 
out fhe run,, before I could prevent her. 

As foon as flie was gone, Mj . Ruth,, 
fays I, my dada is much fonder of me 
than I delerve. He has given me a little 
money to difpofe of at pleafure among 
the confined debtors \ and though I may 
not have enough to anfwer your oecafions, 
yet my dada is fo very good and fo very 
generous, that if you give me the fum o£ 
your debts, with the llory of your di-^ 
llreffes, his heart, 1 am fure, will melt, 
aod he will fet you clear in the world. 

He made no anfwer, however, ta this 
mjf offer; but, lifting up his cyes^ he. 



tti The fool of qUALITT. 

cried. Well mightft thou fay, great Sa- 
viour of the fimple, Staffer little children /# 
^ome unto :v^j for of fuch is the kingdom cf 
heaven. O, thou Babe of the manger, 
fhcu fr (inborn rf many brethren^ here, in- 
deed^ \l a dear and true little brother of 
thit;c, but he fpeaks in his fimplicity, and 
not according to knowledge. iTien, turn- 
ing towai d me, Can you guefs, my dar- 
ling, faid he, what you undertake to do 
for me ? I queftion if the charities of a!l 
this nation would be fufiicient, when uni- 
ted, to effect my deliveranice. Nothing,- 
Bothing but the arm of the Almighty can 
do it. He will do it, indeed, in death ; 
but wjiat then fhall become of my wife 
and feven infants, that truly is terrible, is 
worfe than death to think of. 

When we were fpeaking, two fwecc 
Kttle fellows came in, the eldeft very 
nearly of my fize, but both clad in very 
thin and poor-looking apparel. Having 
kneeled for their father's blefling, they 
flipt behind us ; and, tura ng my head to 
obferve them, Iwas^quite aibamed, and 
drew it back again, on perceiving that the 
poor things were unlading their pockets 
of old crufts and broken meats, which 1 
fuppofed they had begged for the hr 
niily.. 

Ml?* 



The FOQL of qUALITY. 283 

Mrs. Ruth juft then returned, tod he* 
countenance looked fomething dgecled^ 
She took her feat by her hufband, and^ 
continuing awhile fileni, fhe put her hand- 
kerchief before her eyes, and began in 
broken words. Can you guefs, my dear^ 
feud Ihe, what fort of a creature this ia 
whom we liave got among us ? Tliis little 
heavenly impoftor, to lighten our obliga- 
tion, would have perfuaded us that the 
hundred pounds was the gift of another,, 
but it is all his own bounty, it is all hisr. 
own gfracioufnefs. Come, my daughteis^ 
come, my children, kneel down, and re- 
turn your thanks to this your patron^ 
your benefador, your little father here ! 

O dada, you would have pitied me fad- 
ly had you feen me at that time. The 
poor dear things came, all in a duller,, 
preiling, and catching, and clafping, and 
clinging about me; while my love, and 
my very heart were torn, as it were, to 
fritters among them. So I took them,. 
ene by one, in my arms, and kifled and . 
embraced them very cordially,, calling: 
tfaem my brothers and iifiers. I then 
took out another hundred pound note^ 
■ and, giving it to the cldeft of the daugh- 
ters. Here, my dear, faid I, I always loved 
the little Mifles better than the little Ma- 
ftci'S^ heie is for yourfelf and your fillers 



284 Thil fool or qUALIlY: 

to clothe you in a way morc^ becoming 
your family. And then taking a note 
ef equal value, I gave it to the eldeft foo^ 
for himfelf and his brothers, as I faid, ta 
help to educate them in a manner more 
agreeable to the houfe from whence they 
came. 

Mr. and Mrs.- Ruth looked fo aftoniflr- 
ed at me, and at each other, that for a 
^ while they were not able to utter a fyllablc. 
And juft as they began to make their ac- 
khowiedgments, I cried, Hufli! hulh! 
here comes ray tutor. 

Mr. Clement juft then entered, foHow-* 
ed by people bringing tea> cold fowls^ 
and a bottle of wine. 

Having introduced Mr. Clement, we 
-all got round the table ; and^ when we 
had finiihcd our little repaft, I befought 
Mr. lluth to give us the ftory of his mis- 
fortunes. 

My father, faid he, was Baron of 
Frankford* He left my brother, with the 
title, four thoufand five hundred pounds 
a-year, entailed, however, upon me in' 
cafe of his dying without male ilfue. And 
he left me a fmall inheritance of four 
hundred pounds yearly, to fupport, in* 
fonie meal'ure, the appearance of a Gen- 
tleman. 



The fool of QUALITY. 29'S 

As my concern bordered on my bro* 
ther's eftate, we faw one another every 
day, and continued for ieveral years ia 
tender amity. 

Being both invited one day to dinCf 
with other company, at the houfe of a 
neighbour, called Mr. Heartlefs, a que- 
ftion happened to be ftarted over the bot- 
tle, whether the method of fetting an egg 
on jend was originally the invention of Co- 
lumbus, or whether it was communicated 
to him by fome other ? and I unhappily 
^poufed the opinion that was oppofite to 
that of my brother. 

Now, though the queftion was not 
"worth the very flieli of the egg about 
which we debated, yet we entered as 
warmly in^ it as though a province had 
lain at flake; for it is not truth or in- 
ftrui^ion that difputants feek after, it is 
victory alone that is the object of their 
contentioa. 

After fome warm words and perfonal 
retorts had paffed between my brother 
and me, he ftarted into fudden paffion^ 
I and gave me the lie ; whereupon, reach- 
ing acrofs the table, I gave him a tap on 
the cheek with the flat of my fingers. 
Then, -xifing furioufly from his feat, he 
fwore a fearhil o;iih, and cried, I will ruin . 
you, Harry, though it coft me my eftatq^ 

IwiU 



t[»6 The FOOL of ^UALITT. 

1 will ruin yon, Hany Ruth, with all whf 
are yours. 

The very next, day he mufiered hii 
tenants and labourers, and coming upon 
me with a little army, he laid moft of 
my fences level with the earth. 

When I complained of this violence to 
my next neighbours, Mr. Heartleis, and 
Mr. H0II0W9 they protefted they would 
ftand by me arainft fuch outrageous pro- 
ceedings to the laft of their fortunes. 
They then advanced me, between them, 
five hundred pounds for the purpofe. I 
immediately commenced a fuit againil 
my Lord's tenants. But, though I caft 
them all with cofts, 1 unhappily found 
that nearly all my money was funk in the 
conieft. 

Mean time fcarce a day pafled wherein 
I was not ferved with a fubpocna from 
Chancery to anfwer fuch or fuch a bill, to 
which my brother had procured nie to be 
made a party. And he alfo commenced 
a fuit againft me himfelf, in order to in- 
validate my father's wiU, whereby X claim- 
ed my little patrimony. 

When 1 told this to my friend Mr. 
Hollow, he broke -into a loud laugh. 
Your title ! cried he ; the world cannot 
invalidate your title, Mr. Ruth; 1 will 
let you have a thouiand pounds opon it 

to-morrow ; 



The fool of qUALITY. 287 

to-morrow ; and this I was under the ne» 
ceiEty of accepting foon after. 

Contention ferves, with mutual hands, 
to fliut every door againft reconciliation. 
The more I had loved my brother, the 
more I now detefted him. Inflead of any 
fubmiffion or overture to appeafe him, 
my lips uttered, in daily invectives, the 
overflowings of my heart ; as I alfo was 
aiTured, that, on his part, he wifhed me 
nothing lefs than eternal perdition. Thus 
we burned on both fides with unquench- 
able fire, and the kingdom of Satan was 
fully opeued within us. 

At length my body was imprlfoned, at 
the fuit of my neighbour Heartlefs, for 
feven hundred and fifty pounds, and my 
lands were taken under execution, at the 
fuit of my neighbour Hollow, for the 
fum of two thoufand pounds. But I 
ibon was informed, that all tliis money 
was my brother's, who had advanced it, 
from time to time, to thofe his clande* 
fline cbrrefpondents, in order to haften and 
deepen my deftruclion. When I under- 
fiood this, 1 raged, I was all on fire ; and 
I took a honid plcafure in the notion 
of having the fangs of a tyger, that I 
might tear my brother piecemeal, and my 
falle friends, limb from limb, and feaii 
my Ipiric on their pangs, and mine eyea 
op their carnagp. ^ 



188 The FOOL or "QIJALITT. 

But when I turned a look on my "wife 
and feven infants, grief Joined with rage 
to tear me by a double diftraftion* I 
curfed the lot to which I was appointed 
upon earth; and I ihould have fought 
fome defperate means of nutting an end 
to my torments and -exiftence together, 
but that I dreaded, by my death, to give 
pleafure to my brother, ten times more 
than I dreaded the pain of death ikfelf. 

O, my fnends, -had aH that cvfr were 
fainted come and preached to me the 
peace of our Lord Chrift, at that feafon, 
it would have been no more than beating 
the air, or firiving with fo many fpunges 
to make an impreffion on a block of man^ 
ble. It is diftrefs alone that, by t>ppreP' 
fion, makes impreflion ; that preaches the 
internal doArine of fenlible mortification, 
and humbles a proud fpirit, by phicking 
away all its props. 

At firft I was as a worm under the 
foot of my God. I turned, and ftniggled, 
and writhed, and fought with 3l my 
force againft the cruiher. But, alas! aft 
was in vain ; he was too mighty for me ; 
and oppefition fer\'ed only to suld to my 
anguifli. 

At length I was compelled to acquiefce, 
rather through the want of power than 
the want of will to relift. And I lay, as 

if 



The fool of QUALITY. 28? 

It were, without motion under his difpen-r 
fations, at the fame time that my heart 
reproached him iu iecpret-. 

Having fold aU our moveaUes, and 
even our wearing apparel, for fuftenance^ 
we were reduced to the neceffity of fend- 
ing our eldeft boys to beg fragments 
of victuals at kitchen-windows, to keep 
U3 from utterly famiihi^g. This I held 
to be fuch a further fhame and dii- 
^ace as flung my foul to the quick ; 
I therefore began to kick againil thefe 
pricks alfo ; but finding that the more 
I fpurned, the ftronger I was held and 
preffed into the duft, I gave up all re- 
iidance, and contented myfelf with grie- 
ving and weeping under the hand of the 
Almighty^ 

From h^ice I gradually funk into a 
ftate of refigned ferenity, which, altliough 
without funfhine, was yet without dif- 
turbance. My fury fmoothed its creft, 
my paflions fubfided, and I felt nothing 
mare of rancour againft my brother, or 
refinance againft my God. 

The aftivity of the foul will find itfelf 
employment. As I had now no further 
profped or concern upon earth, I began 
to turn my thoughts and attention to ■ 
ward heaven. . I locked myfelf into yon- 

VoL. in. N der 



apo The FOOL of qUALITY. 

der clofet. I threw myfelf into the duft. 
I have finned, I cried, I have greatly 
finned, O God ! I am nothing, I am 
crufhed even lower than the nothing that 
1 am ; fpare, fpare me from a deeper per- 
dition, I befeech thee ! 

I felt that my prayer was heard ; peace 
dcfcended upon me like dew upon the 
night. The day-ftar began gradually 
to dawn to my foul. The dark kingdom 
of Satan gave way before the kingdom 
of the Son of light and Love ; and I 
would no more have entertained any one 
of my former pailions, than I would have 
taken burning coals, and have buttoned 
them up in my bofom. 

1 was greatly delighted, dada, with 
this part and Ibme more of Mr. Ruth's 
flory, and I got him to repeat it over and 
over, that I might remember it the better. 
I now, continued he, I now pitied my 
brother as much as ever 1 had hated him. 
I grieved for having caufed the lofs of his 
peace. 1 wdftied to reftore it to him. I 
wrote a penitential acknowledgment of 
my faults. I befought his pardon, in the 
humbleft manner, for the unfortunate 
blow. I fubfcribed to the juftice of my 
confequent fufierings ; and I fent my fon, 
here, to attend his Lordlhip with my low- 
ly addrefs. The 



The fool of qUALITY. 25^1 

The triumph which this humiliation 
gave to my brother ^ fupplied him with 
patience to go tiu*ough my memorialv 
But then conceiving, as I fuppofe, that 
it was dictated by mercenary meannefs 
and hypocrify, he tore it to pieces, and 
dafhed it into the fire. Then, recurning 
to my child the box which had fo inflamed 
the foul of his Lordfhip, he kicked my 
poor little fellow out of his houfe. 

My child came home to me weeping 
fadly 9 but I confoled him the bed I couldy 
and mingled my tears with his > not ith 
any refcntment for the treatment recei- 
ved, but through grief for the inveteracy 
of my unhappy brother. O my God I 
1 cried, I no longer repine at my abafe- 
jnent, at the weight of my fufferings and 
mortifications^ I blefs thee for them, Q 
God ! they have proved my bell friends^ 
my moft falutaiy phyficians. Cruel and 
ftern^ indeed, is the porter who ilands at 
the iion gate of pain ; but Oh ! it opens 
upon regions of inward delight ; for he 
who clothed himfelf with the crofs is all 
glorious within. 

My happy experience of this truths 
opened for me a new profpeft into the 
myftery of God's difpenlation to mortaJs> 
and threw a number of ihining lights on 
thofe very krticles of gofpel-rcdemptioa 



2pz Tke fool of qVALlTf. 

which had formerly appeared to me (b- ex- 
ceptionable and gloomy. If God, (aid I 
to myfelf, hath fuffered man to fait, he 
hath alfo provided for him every poflible 
means of recovery and reftoration. 

Wherefore^ when fin came into the 
world, God alfo fent fbiFering, its infcpa* 
ruble attendant, to be a cure and ananti» 
dote to the poifon thereof. If fin, there* 
fore, hath thruft the kingdipm of heaven 
from within us^ fufiferiDg comes as God's 
tiorerunner ; it relaxes and unfolds the 
bi azcn gates of our polluted temple, that 
Xhrili, ourrighteoufnefs, may enter, the 
ven^' hem of whofe garment is falvation 
to every foul that lays hold upon it. 

Here I took Mr Ruth about the neck, 
and, kifiing him, faid, that I was fure my 
dada would be witling to pay his whoiC 
debt, in return for the fweet iBllru<^tions 
which he had given to his Harry. You 
ipeak of your dada, my dear, faid he, as 
though he were the reprefentative of God 
in the gofpel, who forgave to his fervact 
ten thoufand talents* What you have 
given me already, Matter, is beyond any 
human bounty that ever I heard of. I 
Ihall theixfore lay by two of thefe notes, 
till I am better informed how far your 
good father may be fatiified with the do** 
nation. 

Soon 



The fool of QUALITY. 29^? 

Soon rfter we took leave, for the pre* 
fent, of this Honourably family. We then 
went araonff^ the other principal debt- 
ors, whofe diftreiTcs, indeed, were greats 
though their ftories, except one, had little 
fingular in them. In order to make our 
money go as far as we could, we hurried 
here and there, through the town, com- 
pounding with the feveral creditors ; fo 
that, for about fix hundred pounds, we 
difcharged a number who were indebted 
to the amount of a thoufand. 

On Tuefday about noon, in the laft 
week, I ftepped to Mr. Ruth's to fee if 
the family had been decently clad, agree*' 
able ta my requeft. There I found him 
and his four (cms clotheci in warm and 
clean^ though very coarfe> apparel ; and 
he told me that his wife had gone alMToad 
with her three daughters, in order to put 
them alfo into a fuitable condition. 

While I fat with him, a young womaa 
Game in, of a very genteel appearance, 
though in a plain dre&. Do not you re- 
member the girl. Sir, faid Ihe to Mr. 
Ruth, who ufed to come to you over 
mght in a screen bonnet and a little red 
mantle ? I mould be very ungrateful, in- 
deed, faid he, if any change of drefs 
could conceal from my remembrance that 
fweet and charitable countenance. O, Sir, 
flic cried, the few Ihillings that I brought- 



294 The FOOL of QUALITY. 

you, from time to mime, came from a 
very affectionate hand, though from a 
hand you would little fufpect of any af- 
fection toward you ; they came from your 
loving niece Belinda Ruth, who has fhed 
many a (hower of tears on your misfor- 
tunes. May heaven be her portion, cried 
out the good man^ iince earth has no- 
thing equal to fo much goodnefs. Indeed, 
Sir, continued the girl, the little that your 
niece fent you was procured with much 
diHIcuIty and danger to herfelf^ for, from 
tlie time that, on her knees and with a 
deluge of tears, fhe petitioned her fa- 
ther in your behalf, he kept a watchful 
eye over her, and took from her ail fa- 
mily- trufts, fo that fhe had nothing 
wherewith to fupply you, except the price 
of fome caft gowns, and of other htlle 
matters that me feigned to have lofl. 
Moreover, my Lord fwore vehemently, 
that if ever ihe furniihed you with the 
value of a farthing, or kept any kind of 
correfpondcnce with you or with yours, 
he would diiown and turn her into the 
public (Ireets. 

You alarm me greatly, cried out Mr* 
Ruth. Is any thing amifs, has any thing 
^happened to my dear child ? She was a 
loively little lamb, a little angel from her 

cradle} 



" 1 



The fool of qUALITY. 29J 

cradle ; though I fhould not know her 
now, if flie flood before me. fhope, I fay 
— tell me, — proceed, I befeech you ! 

There was a fervant, Sir, a man whoni 
your niece thought very faithful, and 
therefore entrufted with the fecret of my 
coming to you, . that he might attend and 
fee me fafe back again. This fellow, 
prefuming on the confidence that was 
placed in nim, would, this morning, have 
taken indecent liberties with his young 
miftrefs. This fhe refented in a becom- 
ing manner, and threatened to complain of 
his infolence to her father. The revenge- 
ful villain inftantly ran, and told the at* 
fair to his Lord, with many aggravations^ 
as though his daughter was robbing him 
iof all his fubftance. Thereupon fhe was 
haftily called, and, having in part con- 
feffed the charge, my Lord drew his 
fword in his fury ; whereupon, giving a 
Ihriek and a fudden fpring, flie got out of 
fiis prcfence, and has fent me to know. Sir, 
if you will be pleafed to receive her ? 

Yes, cried Mr. Ruth, to my bofom, to 
my heart ; with the fame pleafure and 
welcome that a convift receives pardon on 
the hour of execution. 

Juft then Mrs. Ruth enlered, with her 
three daughters, who, running up to tliek 



d^& The fool of qUALITY> 

father, dropped together on their knees 
before him for a blefling* 
' While his hands and eyes were raifed 
in prayer over them, the young ilrane;er 
ftepped eameftly up, and, falling on ner 
knees befide the daughters, (he broke 
into tears, and cried aloud, Blefs me, 
blefs me alfo, O my father ! 1 am your 
niece, your Belinda, my father is no more ! 
Yours, my Lord, is the title, yours all 
the poflcmon ; I now, in my turn^ de- 
pend on your bounty for a morfel of bread. 
My brotner, my iNrother dead ! exclaim- 
ed Mr. Ruth. He is, my Lord, fhe re- 
plied ^ he was fufibcated by his lifing 
choler, and expired on the fpot. 

While the young Lady fpoke, Mrs. 
lluth looked as quite terrified by the ti- 
dings of fuch a fudden elevation j and 
clapping her hands together, and lifting 
her eyes, flie cried. It cannot be, it is im- 
poflible! Ours the title, ours the for- 
tune ! — O my God ! — O my hulband ! 
— O my children ! — with which words 
fhe funk fenfelefs on the floor. 



E>'D OF THE Third Volume. 



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